Why I am so LOST!

***SPOILER ALERT! If you have not watched and plan on watching the television show LOST, DO NOT CONTINUE READING.***

Yes, my Netflix account has been earning its keep at my place, and I've finally decided to delve into the show so many love, LOST. I know, I know, I'm pretty behind the times, but I like to be able to watch episode after episode in order to keep the non-cohesive story line as unmuddled as possible. What I want to know is this: how did anyone watch this stuff from week to week? I never would have been able to follow it, and I probably would have broken up with the show immediately following the "WHAT?!" moment when they discovered the infamous hatch at the end of the first season.

That being said, I have successfully made it to the fifth episode of the fourth season. I gotta say, things are starting to blow my mind. Flash forwards have begun happening, and keeping everything straight is proving to be a little rough. Desmond can travel through time? Kate's now taking care of baby Aaron? Jack grew a beard? Where are Michael and Walt? What the crap is up with the smoke monster and the polar bears? Why did only six people make it off the island (or so they want us to think...Oceanic 6)? Is Hurley really crazy? (And why'd they name a Weezer album after him?)

Here are a few things that really bug me about the show:

1) If I have to hear the line, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" one more time, I might throw something at my television (which would be a downright shame). Writers, please come up with a more original line than this for when you want characters to act independently and not take guff from whoever has a different plan from theirs.

2) Why did the third season become the "bangs" season for all the women on the island? I realize they probably would have enjoyed some beauty updates, seeing as they're suffering through being stranded on an island, but where'd they get the scissors? (In someone's suitcase or from The Others' barracks, I'm sure...) Seriously, don't they have bigger things to worry about? Like who's going to turn on whom next?

3) How many effing guns are on this dang island? Sheesh. If you want something done right, just negotiate for a gun you can brandish about. Someone's bound to be hoarding them (Sawyer, I'm looking in your direction), and there will undoubtedly be some promise made--and then later broken--in order to procure said guns.

4) Charlie's dead? Yep, end of season 3. And Dominic Monaghan was one of the prime reasons for my watching the show. His accent and lovable character brought me back for more. Curse that stupid Looking Glass hatch and having to unjam the satellite signal! I want my heroin-addicted rockstar back. :( As long as we're on the topic, I want Boone (Ian Somerhalder) back, too. He's quite easy on the eyes.

5) Kate's in love with Jack. Kate's in love with Sawyer. Wait, she's back to Jack. But Sawyer saved her life. But JACK! He's a doctor! Sawyer's a bad boy! Could we maybe get a new love interest on the island? Desmond is pretty hot in his short-hair/no-beard days...and a Scottish accent to boot. Just sayin'.

Wow, it sounds like I either a) hate this show; or b) watch it only for the attractiveness of the gentlemen. It's more of a love-hate thing, really. I have so many questions, so I'm willing to see this series out to the end--I hear the finale is cry-worthy...and you know how I feel about a good cry at the end of a show.

P.S. If you've seen the end, help a sister out and don't ruin it for me, please!

Pants on fire

I'm a liar. My driver's license says so. I used to be a really big liar when the little box that declares my weight said I weighed fifteen pounds less than I actually did. Shame on me, right? Well, I showed that little weight box! Since April, I have lost those fifteen pounds and more. I guess that makes me a liar still, by the state's license standards.

But this time, maybe I actually could set some of my old pants on fire...as they no longer fit.

Passport Picture Progression

Seeing as my passport expired less than two weeks after I got back from Ireland this last April, I figured it was time to get the thing renewed. It's not like I have any particular vacation for which I will be needing it soon, but I figure it's always good to keep my options open, just in case a chance to flee the country arises.

All I could think of while I was filling out the passport application online last night was that part in Sneakers where they're trying to record Werner Brandes saying all of the words in the voice code that he uses to get into the secure building. "I love to hear a guy say the word passport." Really, Werner, you fell for that? Really?! I guess it was back in 1992 when men would do anything to land a skir--I mean hot chick.

Ahem. Back to the point at hand.

Naturally, since I am renewing my passport, I got my picture taken last week.

Here's my smiling face:

Which is much better than my previous picture, circa 2000 AD:



The eyebrows! The double chin! The bangs!! The HORROR! Suffice it to say, I'm not sad to see this puppy out the door...

When the security officer at the Abu Dhabi airport told me that I looked 'much better' now (back in 2008), as he tried--puzzledly--to match the photo of my 16-year-old self to the woman standing in front of him, I was a little ashamed to say that yes, that was me (only now sans the 'wall of bangs'). On the same token, though, it's nice to think that, like a fine wine, I've only gotten better with age.

Remains of the day...

In case you're wondering, no, I've never read the book; I did start it once. Sheesh, just go with it.

Rants for today include the following:

A) The creepy, slimy-talking, can't-wear-anything-but-a-wife-beater across-the-hall neighbor caught me in the hall on my way in today. He does this thing where he tries to be friendly, but it just makes me extremely uncomfortable. And today marks the inauspicious occasion of the third time I've had to listen to the very same diatribe he pulls out about Comcast's new digital boxes and how he thinks it's all one big conspiracy. Sorry dude, but I've got my own Comcast box issue to deal with--which leads me to...

B) None of my shows are recording since the TiVo and the Comcast converter box can't play nice. I take that back--ONE of my shows is recording correctly. It's Jeopardy. I'm thanking my lucky stars.

C) ROAD. CONSTRUCTION. Our good friend, Jeff Foxworthy, had a little something to say about this: "If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah." (He also had some other funny things to say about Utahns...) Dear UDOT, there's something to be said for not having to drive through eight thousand potholes, but please keep a lane or two open during rush hour, will ya? Love, all of Utah humanity.

Speaking of love...today was actually pretty great. The following parts were my favorite:

A) Going to the Corner Bakery with friends. I've never actually eaten there eaten there (does a piece of lemon pound cake from there count?), so it was fun to try something new with a fun group of people. Best turn in conversation? "I would date a white collar criminal...at least they're fairly intelligent." On second thought, though, if they're serving time, they're not that smart. If he were Matt Bomer, however... For those of you who are living in a cave and have peasant-vision (i.e., no cable television), Matt Bomer plays a white collar criminal on USA Network's show White Collar. Highly recommended, if only for the eye candy.

B) Seeing the quilt exhibit at the Springville Museum of Art. It did two things for me: 1) made me drool over all of the awesome piecing, quilting, designing, and fabric (shoot me, I'm a quilt nerd!); 2) piqued my interest in designing quilts--it's not that hard! This hobby shall be explored further... Also at the museum was my lovely friend, Jessica. She's some sort of awesome museum fancy-pants education something-or-other, and she showed me the beautiful sculpture garden and gave me fun facts about the quilts on display.

C) Accomplishing two very immediate goals on my list today: taking out the garbage and going to the bank. Done and done. My bill pays won't bounce and my house won't stink. It's the little things, people.

D) Getting in my bed before 11:30 tonight. Sadly, it's the first time this entire week that this is true. My body is beginning to revolt, but I fight it back with caffeine and long afternoon naps that make the cycle continue perpetually. If there's one thing I've learned: a girl cannot live on Diet Coke and Diet Coke alone. Maybe Diet Coke Plus, though (you know, because of all those 'vitamins' and 'minerals'...).