Why I am so LOST!

***SPOILER ALERT! If you have not watched and plan on watching the television show LOST, DO NOT CONTINUE READING.***

Yes, my Netflix account has been earning its keep at my place, and I've finally decided to delve into the show so many love, LOST. I know, I know, I'm pretty behind the times, but I like to be able to watch episode after episode in order to keep the non-cohesive story line as unmuddled as possible. What I want to know is this: how did anyone watch this stuff from week to week? I never would have been able to follow it, and I probably would have broken up with the show immediately following the "WHAT?!" moment when they discovered the infamous hatch at the end of the first season.

That being said, I have successfully made it to the fifth episode of the fourth season. I gotta say, things are starting to blow my mind. Flash forwards have begun happening, and keeping everything straight is proving to be a little rough. Desmond can travel through time? Kate's now taking care of baby Aaron? Jack grew a beard? Where are Michael and Walt? What the crap is up with the smoke monster and the polar bears? Why did only six people make it off the island (or so they want us to think...Oceanic 6)? Is Hurley really crazy? (And why'd they name a Weezer album after him?)

Here are a few things that really bug me about the show:

1) If I have to hear the line, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" one more time, I might throw something at my television (which would be a downright shame). Writers, please come up with a more original line than this for when you want characters to act independently and not take guff from whoever has a different plan from theirs.

2) Why did the third season become the "bangs" season for all the women on the island? I realize they probably would have enjoyed some beauty updates, seeing as they're suffering through being stranded on an island, but where'd they get the scissors? (In someone's suitcase or from The Others' barracks, I'm sure...) Seriously, don't they have bigger things to worry about? Like who's going to turn on whom next?

3) How many effing guns are on this dang island? Sheesh. If you want something done right, just negotiate for a gun you can brandish about. Someone's bound to be hoarding them (Sawyer, I'm looking in your direction), and there will undoubtedly be some promise made--and then later broken--in order to procure said guns.

4) Charlie's dead? Yep, end of season 3. And Dominic Monaghan was one of the prime reasons for my watching the show. His accent and lovable character brought me back for more. Curse that stupid Looking Glass hatch and having to unjam the satellite signal! I want my heroin-addicted rockstar back. :( As long as we're on the topic, I want Boone (Ian Somerhalder) back, too. He's quite easy on the eyes.

5) Kate's in love with Jack. Kate's in love with Sawyer. Wait, she's back to Jack. But Sawyer saved her life. But JACK! He's a doctor! Sawyer's a bad boy! Could we maybe get a new love interest on the island? Desmond is pretty hot in his short-hair/no-beard days...and a Scottish accent to boot. Just sayin'.

Wow, it sounds like I either a) hate this show; or b) watch it only for the attractiveness of the gentlemen. It's more of a love-hate thing, really. I have so many questions, so I'm willing to see this series out to the end--I hear the finale is cry-worthy...and you know how I feel about a good cry at the end of a show.

P.S. If you've seen the end, help a sister out and don't ruin it for me, please!