Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Deja vu: BOO.

Remember how one time I got a GPS for Christmas and all was right with the world? ...only to have it unceremoniously yanked from my car less than two months later? Remember how my family all pitched in and bought me a new one for my birthday a couple months after that (and there were tears of joy and gratitude)? And remember how someone broke into my garage last night, bashed in my friend's car window, used a skeleton key to get into MY Honda, and absconded with my precious Nuvi? Oh probably don't remember that last part. Yep, it happened.

Errands were on the docket this evening, so I headed out to the garage, only to get to my car and notice it was unlocked. "Strange," I thought. "I always lock my car now...especially since that last GPS-stealing incident." My next thought dealt with the disarray of the front seat, "Well, hey...I know I didn't rip everything out of my glove compartment and throw it across the car." Then: "WHERE'S MY GPS?!" That's right--it's gone the way of the black market. I hope whoever got it realizes that it's in dire need of a map update. Joke's on you, thief!

As it turns out, somebody broke into my apartment building's secure garage last night. They didn't go for the landlady's purse that was in her car...they didn't try to steal anything out of the beautiful black Mercedes Benz...they didn't even try to get the $700 worth of golf equipment out of the down-the-hall neighbor's vehicle. But don't worry. My car--the Honda Civic--took the brunt of the theft. Talk about a deja vu experience. COME. ON.

I feel thanks are in order, though. (Kind of like an awards show speech coming on...)

I would like to thank Monsieur Voleur for keeping all of my windows intact, at least.

Thanks for not stealing my tampons and other feminine hygiene supplies that I keep in the glove compartment. (But littering them across the front seat is kind of embarrassing...I mean, really...)

A big thanks to you for snatching my garage door opener and causing quite the ruckus in the building as the landlord had to scramble desperately to re-code the garage tonight and get everyone's openers to work with it.

Thank you for violating my privacy. I feel really safe and secure.

Thanks for causing me to cry the 'ugly cry' and get mascara all over my face.

I owe my busted up steering column to you, Thief Dude. I don't know if you were trying to hotwire my car or not, but seriously!? I don't even know where to begin on getting that sucker repaired. (For now, I really hope I don't have to make any fancy turns while driving, because it ain't happenin'...)

Moral of the story is this: no matter how cautious or OCD you are about keeping yourself away from trouble or danger, it'll probably find you. Somehow, somewhere, someday... I figure, hey, fool me once (and I was an idiot for letting it happen a year and a half ago in Provo), shame on me. Fool me twice, burglars...well, even if you don't fool me at all, you should be ashamed of yourselves.


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