Tuesday, February 24, 2009

More lessons

As much as I'd like to think I've learned everything I need to in this life, I know that isn't the case. Because I keep getting schooled. Here's what I've learned the past few days:

1) Lock your doors! Even if you live in Provo and you think it's the safest place on Earth, people are still going to come steal your GPS right out of your car. I had to learn this the hard way when I went out to my car Sunday morning and found my glove compartment emptied onto my front seat. Please don't think I'm so irresponsible. My keychain remote control lock has been on the fritz lately, so I've been just hitting it a bunch of times, and usually that'll do the trick. Not so much. Luckily the thief didn't feel like he needed to bash in my window or hotwire my car or steal my CDs (what, they didn't want all my random compilations?), but he/she did get away with my Christmas gift. Ever since then, I have been extra vigilant to get my doors locked all the time.

2) Hold off on drinking a lot of Diet Coke before you go watch a movie at the theater. Especially one that starts kind of slowly and doesn't make any sense until half-way through.

3) Not owning a vacuum is not a good idea. And the color of your vacuum doesn't matter either. I'm just saying, if you can count how long it's been since you've vacuumed in MONTHS, don't be picky. And don't be surprised when you suck up a whole bunch of dirt as the vacuum makes its debut. Blech. (I'd just like to note that I did not learn this lesson personally.)

4) Hulu is a great resource to watch the show that was cut for the press conference about Larry H. Miller's death. Come on, that couldn't wait another hour?!

5) Texts are not always what they seem.

6) When carrying a heavy television set, make sure the way is clear before you try to squeeze through the narrowest of places. I'm doing some furniture moving in my house right now. There is a bunch of stuff lining the hall, just waiting for a place to call home. I don't know why I thought it would be a bright idea to try to heave the sixty-pound television through this obstacle course, but try I did. I made it to my bedroom door and couldn't make it, so I yelled out to Rachel, and she saved the day by helping me balance and turn the monster through the semi-blocked doorway.

7) Sunglasses with one arm are better than no sunglasses. But sunglasses with TWO arms are the best of all. (Bonus lesson: never pay more than $10 for your sunglasses. That way, you can't be too sad when they end up lost or broken.)

8) Don't eat 12 biscuits just because you didn't have to make them and they're sitting in front of you. Your stomach probably isn't made for such feats of strength, and the scale will not thank you later. I'm serious. Don't do it. Not even if they're cheesy biscuits.

9) Always make sure the screen that says, "Your DVD has been returned successfully" pops up on the RedBox before you turn around to leave. They really will charge you $25+tax, even if you email them to complain. They'll also tell you they'll "send out a technician," but really that means, "We just don't give a crap."

10) Before you book your whirlwind East coast adventure, check your favorite bands' websites. One of them might be playing in Salt Lake City when you plan on being in New York. And then they'll come to Washington, DC two days after you've been there. Oh Keane. :( I will sure miss you. Just put a Vegas show on your tour, and I'll try to be there!

11) If you ever decide to paint with your feet, be prepared for a work-out. It's tough to hop around, trying to make sure you don't drip. Oh, and pink sparkly paint takes a few days to come off your skin, so if you decide to use it, don't put your hands or other extremities in it. Unless you're into that kind of thing...

12) Laughter really is the best medicine. Surround yourself with people who either get your jokes or can one up you in the humor department. It's a great workout for your abs, too! (I keep re-learning this lesson...but it's a great one!)

13) Life changes are scary. But they can be fun, too. And what's the worst that can happen? Nothing changes? That's what I thought...


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