Monday, November 10, 2008

Lessons

Lessons I've learned...just last week:

1) That waiter is NOT flirting with you. He'd like to let you think as much, but who's he kidding? That tip is the only thing that keeps him coming back with a big smile, especially at The Cheesecake Factory at 10:30 on a busy Saturday night. Plus, he'll even call you a 'bread racist' for favoring the wheat bread over the white... (Yes, you read that right...the wheat bread there is SO good!)

2) Never tell the person taking your blood about your unfortunate past experiences in the world of blood donation. It will probably freak them out, become self-conscious, and make them more liable to turn into a needle-jiggler while it's in your arm. (I had to learn this lesson in two parts...luckily I was not the crazy pin cushion experiment this time because I wised up after my last bad experience and played it cool from the start.)

3) If you don't want to get caught in the wave of temple patrons in Provo, go on Friday afternoon to the 2:40 session. Less than half full--best spiritual bang for your buck. :)

4) I-80 Westbound will never be open at 700 East, so save yourself some trouble and take 2100 South clear out to I-15 and save yourself the headache. Because let's face it...3300 South is still under some sort of zany construction, and if there's one thing Utahns don't handle well, it's driving in construction (or snow...).

5) Sometimes being oblivious about a situation is probably for the best...and your friends know that, too. 'Nuff said.

6) Dark chocolate peppermint ice cream from ColdStone is never a bad idea, especially among friends who all love ice cream as much or more than you do.

7) Having clean, ironed clothes at 5:45 in the morning when getting ready is worth doing laundry and ironing during the week so you can have a few extra minutes to doze in a warm bed.

8) If your drain is still clogged after pulling out a lot of hair, just give your poor knees a break and save yourself the disgust of the gross things you'll see and touch--buy some Drano.

9) Always have a plan of escape when you're faced with an awkward social situation (e.g., getting cornered by a strange guy you don't even know at ward prayer)...I watched an episode of Seinfeld the other day where Jerry and Elaine were at a party and they came up with a signal that was supposed to save them from being caught in such situations...they patted their heads to get the other's attention. Last night I found myself wishing that Rachel had seen the same episode so I could get her to come save me. I kept throwing the withering looks in her general direction, but I don't think she noticed. So two words, people: GAME PLAN.

10) Watching three straight hours of Jeopardy is a serious brain-stretching exercise. And it's as bad as watching a regular television show when it comes to the cliffhanger--I couldn't wait to find out if the champion got unseated on the next installment.

2 Comments:

Blogger Becky said...

This was a great laugh for me! Ward prayer, I had forgotten the horror of it!

November 12, 2008 at 7:52 AM

 
Blogger LindsayKeller said...

I loved the "spiritual bang for your buck" bit. Truer words have never been spoken. Half full is THE way to go.

November 16, 2008 at 10:55 PM

 

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