I'm an anti-dentite.

**WARNING: this is a boring/somewhat of 'too much information' post about the dentist. If you're grossed out or freaked out by teeth stories, do not continue! You have been fairly warned.**

I went to the dentist today. My insurance is offering awesome deals for us for the rest of the year...basically everything's covered until the end of 2009. I'm not letting that pass me by! So I asked around and found a dentist in Salt Lake.

A little background...for five years, I didn't have dental insurance. I'd always been told I had good teeth, though, so I wasn't too worried about it. My molars weren't malfunctioning, so I went on my merry brushing and flossing ways. When I finally got insurance, I hustled my way into the DDS and got my chompers all cleaned and fixed up. They told me I had a little bit of a problem with receding gums, but that it wasn't much to worry about. Ok, so I would brush without as much force, and I'd vow to floss better and more.

Now here we are, seven months later, and I'm back to the Tooth Man. The hygienist gets going trying to find "pockets" and showing me a fake set of teeth and gums (yikes!). She then proceeds to freak me out by telling me that the bones that hold my teeth in are disappearing. What the...? How did this happen?!

Also, there were stains on my teeth, somewhat reminscent of what a smoker or coffee-drinker would have. I was confused, because I was thinking maybe it was plaque or some other gum disease eating away at my front teeth. My beautiful front teeth! Don't worry, the hygienist was perplexed as well. We were trying to think if maybe I drank too much Diet Coke or something (nope)... here's what we discovered: my mouthwash has been staining my teeth! I started using the ProHealth stuff by Crest, and it is wonderful (up until today, I guess!). It doesn't burn, and it isn't too strong or overwhelming. BUT APPARENTLY IT WILL STAIN YOUR TEETH. She got them all polished, and now I can rest assured that as long as I change mouthwash brands, all will be well.

The girl running the show was kind of hilarious. I mentioned that my family mocked me for my 'beaver teeth' all growing up. She laughed and then said, "That's horrible!!" Then later she was telling me things and said something about fixing my 'beaver teeth.' I guess she thought it was ok since that's how I referred to them. I even told her about the song my family made up about how much wood could I chuck if I could chuck wood.

Long story short, I have a couple more appointments for them to deep clean my stupid gums. And I now have an aching mouth and a fear of eating anything that will dirty my pearly whites.

I am now officially an 'anti-dentite.'