The wheels are turning...

One

2012-01-21T20:21:00.005-07:00

I've lived alone for a few years now. About 99% of the time, I love having my own space. It means staying up as late as I want (10:00pm sometimes!), eating ice cream for dinner (more often than I care to admit), and leaving clothes haphazardly strewn about (I'm lazy...sue me). There are two things, however, that I have discovered I struggle to do on my own: 1) zip up dresses I'm putting on my body; 2) fold fitted sheets by myself. Those are easy things to fix...I wear skirts and only have one set of sheets that go straight from bed to wash and back on the mattress again. Ta da! How sweet independence is.

For good or bad, I choose to empower the "one."

Being alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. I'm not in the business of pushing loved ones away or secluding myself in a hermit-like lifestyle (all the time). My life is full of school and work and friends and church and family and taking care of all the fun/nerdy/crazy things that make me me. But this post isn't about making anyone feel pity for me because of my lack of roommates or not having a significant other...

I used to have a distinct plan for my life. One that included a loving husband and some children. And dinner on the table at a certain time every night. And driving carpool, and a vacation to Disneyland every few years, and teaching my kids to play the piano. I had it all mapped out (in my own insane OCD way), and for awhile I was angry and bitter when I felt like I had been robbed of my one shot at true happiness. (Feel free to laugh heartily at my naivety at this point…)

No, I feel like this current time in my life is a delicate cultivation of the beginning of a more substantial purpose, one that’s uniquely mine.

As I'm sure you're aware, I struggled deciding to begin graduate school. And even now that I've tucked a semester under my belt, I don't specifically know why I'm there. Or for what. Here's what I know: ONE day at a time. ONE class at a time. ONE person to take care of. And who knows where that will take me in a few years?

By this point in my existence, I obviously don’t have all the answers. What I do realize is that I am but one little person in this big vast world…but that even one person can have lasting effects, given the right circumstances. I thrive on knowing that I can make even the tiniest difference for the people I love. I can think of many, MANY “one”s in my life who have helped me at my darkest moments and seen me through some tough, seemingly dramatic times. And I recognize it would be incredibly selfish of me to be a love leech.

Last Sunday in church, there was a lesson on loving our neighbor. One of the quotes in the lesson was from a man who said he loved everyone, including those people he hasn’t met. The question was raised: How do you love people you don’t know? I mulled this around a little and was a bit ashamed to admit to myself that I found it difficult sometimes to love the people I have met, let alone everyone.

So how on Earth could I, little old Annie, ever find myself in a position where I would be giving of myself, even when I didn’t understand why I would love people I don’t know or may never make their acquaintance? And it dawned on me—I AM doing just that. Every time I sit in a class, every time I suffer through my homework, I do it because one day I hope to be part of something bigger than myself. See, I have wide-eyed dream of being a part of a humanitarian organization that provides aid to third world countries. I admit it—it’s a distant dream and currently in rough draft form, but I feel like all of the sacrifice and worry and lost sleep will be worth it in the long run. When I get to see how my efforts pay off in the future, it will be a sweetness I cannot presently comprehend.

I do imagine, though, that grad school will sorta be like my first baby—only grad school will never actually love me back. But hey, at least I don’t have to change diapers or wake up for middle-of-the-night feedings… :)

Thanksgiving mayhem

2011-11-24T08:20:00.001-07:00

My dad and I are hilarious.

Dear November 3rd Sprinkler User...

2011-11-03T07:25:00.003-06:00

...It's that time again. Time to turn off that sprinkler timer and let your lawn die. I promise, come April, you can get all sorts of Spring-fevery and start watering the sidewalk along with that tiny patch of grass again! But for now, let's say goodbye to green and say hello to freezing temperatures and blankets of snow. I'm not happy about it, don't get me wrong, but want to know what makes me even more unhappy about Winter, November 3rd Sprinkler User? Slipping on new, man-made ice that shouldn't be there in the first place.

Sincerely,
A lowly commuter, just looking to walk to the TRAX station without harm befalling her

Television: 1, Annie: 0

2011-11-01T06:48:00.004-06:00

I'm a pack rat. I keep things needlessly and for a long time. So I've had this old television sitting in my bedroom for six months, waiting to find a new home. And when I say "old," I mean something that was probably manufactured before I was. Meaning it was pretty dang heavy...

(This is an Internet-found representation, not an actual photo of the item in question...)

Cue last Thursday night when--gol darn it--I was going to get rid of that stupid tv once and for all. I mustered up every bit of the strength my girl arms had to offer and heaved that thing out of my apartment and down the hall to my awaiting car...

Only to drop that sucker just feet from the open car door. And wouldn't you know it, my instincts kicked in, and I threw my leg out there to help catch the massive beast of a thing.

I won't detail the myriad of curse words that went through my brain as I nearly crumpled to the ground in distress. But I would not be deterred! I picked up that monstrosity of an electronic device, and I slung it in the back seat and drove straight to DI. I told the guys at the pick-up to take it far, far away where it could do me harm no more.

And here are my bruises that have been forming ever since. You can't see them very well in the first picture, but look at my knee, my shin, and my ankle. In case you're wondering, none of those body parts is very adept at catching huge television sets.

(Like how my school book acts as a foot rest? In case you're wondering, it's a book about male/female roles in public administration...not some sort of dating book.)

And what did we learn from all this? Annie needs a boyfriend. Or I at least need to stop acting like I can do everything by myself.

Chicken Cordon Bleu Soup

2011-10-31T15:41:00.005-06:00

I can't take full credit for this soup that I took to the Halloween lunch we had at work today...my sister came up with the idea years ago. I just re-tooled it so it isn't as thick. I wish I had an actual picture (the one above is stolen from the interwebs...), but by the time I thought about it, it had been gobbled up. People loved it!

Chicken Cordon Bleu Soup

4 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded

16 oz. diced ham

6 cups chicken broth

2 cups half and half

1 lb. swiss cheese, grated finely

1/2 cup flour

1/4 cup margarine

In a large pot, melt the margarine on medium-high heat. Add the flour and whisk for 2-3 minutes (it will be globby). Add the chicken broth a cup or two at a time and whisk between each addition until smooth. Simmer for 10-15 minutes on medium-low heat. Stir in the half and half and simmer for another 10 minutes. Add in the cheese, little by little, whisking it in to melt it after each addition. In the meantime, fry the diced ham for 3-5 minutes in a frying pan on medium-high heat. Add ham and chicken to soup mixture and simmer longer to let the flavors meld. Salt and pepper to taste.

Family Pictures

2011-10-19T07:05:00.002-06:00

These were taken in August (courtesy of my uncle) while the whole family was here.

I came. I saw. I dated...Nate.

2011-10-11T16:45:00.009-06:00

Let's do a little math. I know that's not par for the course for the English major in me, but hear me out. What do you get when you turn in one application, answer eight questions, get called the wrong name twice, and survive a week of over 150,000 votes? Give up? Answer is: one hilariously amazing date.

In case you missed it, I was voted on to DateNate.com. You got it, folks...yours truly took place in the online reality dating craze that's sweeping...um, the nation? Well, at least Salt Lake City and my family. With amazing support from fast-clicking friends and family (that's you!), my dream of Internet fame has finally come true. I guess I didn't realize I had this dream until about a week ago...and now it's all a blur. But a good one.

To sum up, I met up with the DateNate production crew a little before filming. I waited at our activity location while he introduced the evening to our viewing public. I have to admit, I was extremely nervous at first. I think I covered it well, but I was shaking with anxiety about the whole situation. After a few minutes, I was completely at ease because of Nate's easy-going personality and attitude about doing adventurous new things.

We got started doing the belly dancing, and I had a riot! Amanda at Cairo Classic Studio was a great teacher and put up with all of my smart alec remarks and uncoordinatedness. I heard the video feed was pretty choppy because of some wireless connectivity issues, but we did get some good archival footage (thanks, crew!) seen here. I also learned that these hips of mine don't lie. Wait, that can't be right...

Watch live video from datenate on Justin.tv
After our activity, we headed to Other Place Restaurant for dinner. We both got the Gyros, and while messy, they were so delicious. I also really liked the salad it came with...lots of feta and blue cheese dressing. Can't go wrong. And I downed a few Diet Cokes as well...I'm nothing if not predictable.

I could outline how fun and animated our conversation was, but how about you just watch?

Watch live video from datenate on Justin.tv
After we stopped filming, Nate and I ended up talking for a bit over some dessert. In case you thought he was just putting on a show for the people, he's basically the same person on and off camera. I only heard great things about him before I went on the show, and I will add my high opinion of him to the mix of what I heard from his friends and others who know him. We talked about family, church, the website...all sorts of things.

I had one of those mornings where I woke up and thought, "Did I really say that last night? Really??" Who can say that they have video archive footage to go back and review all of the hand gestures, facial expressions, stupid stories, weird reactions, and all? Pick me! I do! It was incredibly strange to watch something I had already lived from a third-party perspective, but kind of fun to see how it all turned out.

Thanks to everyone who made this night possible. I can't possibly list you all here, but much gratitude to those of you who persisted in voting, who provided moral support, and kept me going in general when I thought the whole process might drive me just a tad insane. Also, thanks to the whole production crew: Estee (production assistant), Rick (driver), and Chad (camera man). It was great to meet new people and have such a fun and refreshing experience.

Ultimately I had a fantastic time. Nate is a great guy who is charming and easy to talk to and get along with. He was so considerate of me and very complimentary of everything he knew about me. We had good conversation and an even better time. I wasn't lying when I said I would go out with him again, either. I'm happy with the fun we had. But he's got a whole lot of DateNate ahead of him... Best of luck to Nate's next few dates!

Rocking the vote

2011-10-06T07:08:00.000-06:00

When I woke up this morning, I found that I had survived another elimination on DateNate.com. Whew! The pressure! I also discovered that Liz had over 2000 votes (since midnight!) and realized I had to do something about it.

I'm calling everyone to clear-the-cache action! It's easy, and there's nothing in any sort of rules about not voting more than once, so let's do this thing.

Here's how you do it:

Download the Opera browser. Just do it. You can delete it later, once I've won. Go here: http://www.opera.com/download/

Got that all set there? Good. Ok. Click on the little "Opera" in the upper left-hand corner. Click Settings > Preferences > Advanced (tab) > Cookies (on the left-hand side) > Select "Never accept cookies" and then OK. (See, aren't you glad I'm not making you mess with your usual browser?)

Now you're set. Go to http://www.datenate.com/index.php and keep clicking Annie, Vote. You don't even have to refresh the webpage.

-OR-

If you really want to use Firefox or Internet Explorer:

* Open the browser

* Under the ‘Tools’ section in the browser menu bar, select the ‘Private Browsing’ option ( or Ctl+Shift+P on your keyboard)

* Open the web site you wish to use (http://www.datenate.com/index.php/vote/)

* Cast your vote

* Close the private browsing window or tab.

* Other family members can then open a private browsing session and vote without being restricted by other family members votes.

(Thanks to my dad for this information!)

Really, this contest has become about so much more than going out with a random stranger--well, one could argue that I have a very loose connection to the fella. It's really about who has the most and best friends who will click the "Vote" button a zillion times. So if you've got a spare 10 minutes, open a few windows and click the time away!

Your votes are much appreciated. And I'm considering doing something kinda fun and crazy on the date (if I get voted on!) to show everyone how grateful I am. :) Happy voting!

Votes for women! ...er, Annie!

2011-10-04T12:58:00.003-06:00

So...I'm on an online dating game show. How did this happen, you ask?

It began with the question posed last week at work: "Annie, in what age range would you be willing to date?" My response: "Probably anywhere from about 25 to 40." Co-worker Bob ninjafies to his office for a minute, returns, and says: "Ok, go to www.datenate.com." Long story short and before I know it, I've applied.

Fast forward a couple days to when the actual DateNate himself emails me, wondering if I'll be included in the voting. Sure! Why not? Lots more profile questions (knocked those suckers out of the park) and one photo later, and now I'm here for your voting pleasure.

Want to see one of my first dates webcasted live? Go here. Vote for me from every web browser you've got. Then get all your friends to join in the three clicks worth of fun! I promise to give shout outs to you all if (when??) I'm eating dinner with Nate next Monday night. :)

Sneak Peek

2011-10-03T10:45:00.000-06:00

A little something crazy to look forward to...stay tuned (tomorrow) for more!

Sharolyn Gabbitas: 1977 - 2011

2011-09-15T05:39:00.006-06:00

I remember five years ago, moving into my new condo in Provo and going to my new ward. It was in the same stake as I had been for three years already, but the prospect of meeting all new people and figuring out the ward situation is always a daunting one. My sisters and I walked into Relief Society and did the usual introductions.

"Hi, I'm Annie...I just moved from the 223rd ward."

It was at that moment the Relief Society president chimed in, "We've heard good things about you... And we're so excited to have you here!" I was stunned but not surprised that my former bishop had been touting my talents; however, I didn't think I warranted such a warm and gushy welcome.

It's funny how you remember little things like that when one of your friends passes away...

Last year, Sharolyn (the ever-cheerful, aforementioned Relief Society president) was diagnosed with bone cancer. Having overcome cancer earlier in her life, she set out resolutely to beat this and show it who was boss. That's who she was: BOSS. Anything in life that was thrown at her, and she was the one to take it by the horns and make it fun to boot.

Two days ago, after a long and painful struggle, the cancer won. No, actually I don't think it won outright...she had a few good rounds in the ring with it, always coming out swinging at the starting bell. But at the age of 34, she finally succumbed to the hugely debilitating illness and said goodbye to this earthly life and its trials.

But this isn't about her death. Death is inevitable for each of us. Her life, woven briefly through mine, is what really made the difference. We were almost instant friends (a fact I saw wasn't just true for me), and she continually impressed me.

Here are the things I love about Sharolyn:

She played the piano beautifully. Seriously, it put most people to shame--including me...I thought--but she was so forgiving when it came time for me to accompany her (beautiful singing voice!) and I stumbled through the pieces. Not just forgiving--incredibly complimentary and gracious.
Her generosity was enormous. The historical Provo home she owned was often opened up for ward events, birthday parties, practicing sessions, or to friends who needed an emotional boon. Honestly, it wasn't just her home that was opened...her heart was what made that place one of refuge.
Sharolyn was hilarious. And so real. I remember a few times just chatting with her and laughing because she would say things like, "I probably shouldn't say that about people...." It was so good to know that she wasn't perfect and that sometimes we could commiserate about the silliness of things.

Honestly, how do you distill a person's life into bullet points? ...It almost seems so ridiculously trivial. I'm glad I'm not the one writing her obituary.

The two of us must have been in cahoots about something...

Singing as a group at a birthday party...not an uncommon occurrence. (Ray, if you're reading this and still have the video that's up on Facebook of us singing Island in the Sun, with Sharolyn making faces at the camera, can you send me the file so I can post it here?)

Sharolyn's the one holding the puppy with her tongue out. Someone commented on this photo on Facebook: "I guess that's one way to clean your puppy, Sharolyn." Her adorable response: "Well apes sit around picking bugs out of each other's fur and then eat it. Other animals lick each other. Guess it's just their way of showing their love (or saying, "boy do you ever stink!")."

A few years ago during the downturn of the economy, my younger sister Rachel was out of work and needed something part time to work with her school schedule. Our friend Melinda had been talking to Sharolyn about how she (Sharolyn) had just started a business and needed some help with some of the administrative aspects of it. Melinda suggested Rachel for the position, and it was a match made in heaven. They not only became co-workers but very closely-knit friends. When Sharolyn had an airline buddy pass to go to Puerto Rico, she took Rachel. Rachel was over at Sharolyn's house daily, keeping the business going. In Sharolyn's final days, Rachel was one of the people to help her get her life in order before the cancer overtook her.

The last time I spoke with Sharolyn was a couple months ago. Her hair was extremely short (but finally growing after the chemo!), and she was looking thin, and you could tell that words were sometimes difficult. We talked about her treatments, her puppies, how good she had been to my sister as an employee... It wasn't anything deep or philosophical, and I didn't know it would be the last time I would see her, but for me, that's ok.

I surely did not realize those five years ago that that vivacious Relief Society president would have such a quiet yet profound impact on my life or especially on my sister. It's people like Sharolyn that deserve that tippy-top spot in heaven with a harp (or grand piano!) on a cloud.

Sharolyn, you will most definitely be missed.

The moment when...

2011-09-01T07:04:00.003-06:00

You know when you find yourself in a heavy situation and you want out? That grasping-at-straws, can't-keep-your-head-above-water type of feeling that hangs over you with its grimy, gloomy fingers?

Cue Monday evening where I found myself in a 3-hour Administrative Theory class (theory--whoo!), filled with self-doubt and many much feelings of inadequacy on the heels of thoughts like, "I swear I did the reading for this class...why am I struggling to understand what this professor is talking about??" When I got home, I should have just climbed into my cozy bed to shake off the day, but instead I decided to work on the reading for the next day's Environmental Policy and Sustainability class...

Thoughts: "Five articles...this can't be that bad...I did this all the time in undergrad."

And then began the trudging through subjects such as eco-terrorism, one's effect on the common-pool resources, policy about the environment based on different philosophies (boring just reading the description, eh?)...

Ice cream.

More reading.

Eyes drooping. Words blurring together. Almost crying.

And then that little niggling thought in the muck of all that was my brain activity: "It's not too late to throw in the towel on this whole silly grad school thing..."

Hitting a wall. Falling from grace. Squandering in a rut.

Don't worry, people, only 15 more weeks of school!

Then cue Tuesday evening as I booked it up to campus again, determined to keep on this grad school path but feeling less-than-confident (understatement alert!).

And as I was sitting in my Environmental Policy class, furiously taking notes and poring over the articles I've underlined and scribbled notes on, a little light bulb took its place above my head--metaphorically, of course--and intelligent thought entered my brain.

I took a deep breath, raised my hand, and made a comment in the class discussion.

My professor (who, as a side note, is also the chair of the entire MPA program) nodded encouragingly and spoke one beautiful word: "Exactly."

IT. FELT. GOOD.

I know it was just a tiny little incident, but it gave me the much-needed boost to keep on keepin' on here, folks. I feel like the Tin Man on the Wizard of Oz who keeps hollering for oil because he's so rusty. Six years is a long time to put between school endeavors, so getting back into the swing of things, finding a routine, working out a pattern...it's going to take some effort and time. Lots of good thoughts of affirmation. Some long walks of contemplation. Frozen yogurt just about daily. You're gonna make it, kid.

The remedy

2011-08-15T09:49:00.007-06:00

What do you do when you realize it's *GULP* one week until you start grad school and you're having a tiny freak-out?

Buy this:

We'll see how long that helps...

Salida

2011-08-09T08:14:00.006-06:00

A week ago, I returned from a tropical vacation adventure to Puerto Rico. I must have vacationed hard because my suitcase is still in a state of unpacking, and I'm reeling at the damage I put on my credit cards.

But it was worth it.

Check it out for yourself:

Really, I needed an exit from real life. I've been looking forward to this vacation for the past year, so I decided to live it up and not worry about work or money or calories. And I'm none the worse for the wear. Thank you, Puerto Rico, for making my vacation dreams come true. No thanks to you, real life, for reminding me that school is quickly upon me and bills have to be paid.

For our trip, Matt was the GPS and translator, and I was the driver and financier of the whole operation. We worked as a great team and had some hilarious times. It was also a lot of fun to have some good heart-to-hearts with him, as I haven't really been able to converse with him for two years while he's been on the mission.

One of my favorite parts of the whole trip was the half-day ziplining tour we took in a remote part of the mountains. It was a bunch of hippies who took us up and trusted us to be safe on the ziplines, in the cave, on the bridge, and doing a 70-foot rappel. We got some fun videos:

Matt

Me

Matt, holding the camera as he goes (yikes!)

Other highlights from the trip include:

* Shopping in San Juan. I bought six new shirts for about $16 total out-of-pocket. That could just be that I'm an awesome shopper, not that the prices were particularly bargain basement or anything.

* Waking up at ridiculous times to make that stupid ferry to Culebra...third time was the charm! We made it on the cargo ferry, which took twice as long as the passenger one. And everyone was puking their guts out by the time we got there. Happy beach time, people! Getting back was a fun time, too. Standing in line for hours at a time (luckily I had a good book!) and worrying that with the tropical storm that was coming that way that we wouldn't make it back to Puerto Rico in time to get on our flight the next day coming home. Squeaked by on that one! And we made some new friends in the process...a lady and her sons were grateful that I offered to buy their return tickets (they were a first-come-first-serve type of thing) and meet up with them later. I figured I needed all the karma points possible by that point.

* Getting pulled over and receiving a speeding ticket for the first time in my life. "I went 90 my whole mission and the cops never pulled us over," said my brother. Thanks... $110 and a fun wait in line at the "collecturia" later, and I paid that sucker off. Hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. I have to say, though, if I'm going to get a ticket, I'll take it that way...while I'm on vacation and spending money through the nose anyway.

* Meeting all of my brother's friends from him mission. They all loved him. He's a lovable guy, I guess. The bishop of the ward in Humacao (where we were staying) even asked him to come bear his testimony in church. Don't worry, I got an introduction in Sacrament meeting, too...while I was playing on my phone (What?! I don't speak Spanish, ok?!). Everyone turned to stare at us, and I slowly looked up when I realized what was happening. Awesome. We also drove up to San Juan to the "suit store," which was actually in some random parking garage with a bunch of designer suits. I guess some missionary had introduced Matt to it the night before he came home, and our brother-in-law wanted some suits. At $65 a pop, it was worth the trip. We got to the store and who do we happen upon? Matt's mission president. It was nothing but acclaim and glowing reports from him about my favorite former Elder.

* Kayaking in the bioluminescent bay in Fajardo. If you've never heard of this, check it out: "A bio bay is a body of water that contains millions of micro-organisms, called “dinoflagellates”, that glow in the dark for a second when agitated." Sounds a little cool? Try amazing. We kayaked out as the sun was setting, through a tunnel of mangrove trees. When we got there, it wasn't quite dark, and we tried to see this supposed 'sparkle' when we put our hands in the water. I was skeptical, but as the darkness closed in, the little organisms began to shimmer. I can't even explain it without sounding cheesy. Our group, which consisted mainly of members of the Army who were in Puerto Rico for training, ended up having a water fight. Kayaking back to shore was a little crazy, but the whole experience was nothing short of magical. And Matt and I became awesome at kayaking in tandem.

* Listening to the following songs about 42 times each...and loving every second of it: Owl City's Fireflies, Gym Class Heroes' (feat. Adam Levine) Stereo Hearts, and B.o.B.'s (feat. Rivers Cuomo) Magic. I made some mix CDs before we left with some music that had come out in the past two years, and these were some of Matt's favorites. Somehow, the CD player knew this and would play them again, even after they finished the first go-round. :)

* Learning a little bit of Espanol. "Salida" means exit. "Culebra" means snake. "Damas" means ladies. You get the idea. I could pick out tiny parts of the conversations happening around me, but it all happened so fast.

* Beating the crap out of our poor rental car. Thank heavens for the insurance ($20 a day? Sheesh...) I got because we drove and drove and drove some more. And on some pretty crazy terrain. The first day, we discovered someone had scraped up against the car without our knowledge, so we figured we were already invoking the insurance and there were no holds barred. It was a good thing, too, because we climbed some insane mountain passes and fit through some tight spots. Driving in Puerto Rico was quite the experience, too. I just had to learn to go with the flow, break some laws, edge my way in, and I was good. One of the most hilarious driving moments included taking an "exit" on the freeway that turned out to be a side road that led to a chain link fence. Our solution was to back up onto the shoulder of the freeway and gun it to make it up to speed and get back on the real road. By the end of it all, I felt like driving in SLC would be tedious. Luckily I've re-acclimated pretty well.

* Finding out a fear of mine: jellyfish. I grazed one with my leg while we were snorkeling, and I flipped out. Got out of the water and was afraid to go back in. Once I did, I saw another one, and I was done. But snorkeling in crystal clear, warm ocean water isn't a bad way to start a day, I just gotta say.

* Infamous Thursday.
- We woke up to make the ferry (on the east coast) and didn't.
- I got pulled over that morning.
- The water at the place we were staying (for free, mind you!) finally got turned back on. 2 1/2 days without water is not something I am used to. Thankfully we had access to a shower and all, but not being able to use the toilet or have water for anything got frustrating. God bless the Walgreens down the street with baño access.
- We drove 2 1/2 hours to the waterfall in the mountains of San Sebastian (closer to the west coast)...only to get rained out 10 minutes after we got there.
- We tried making it to the lighthouse in Cabo Rojo (on the west coast!) before sunset and missed it. Had a couple minutes of light to make it up there, and it was still amazing, though.
- I went to pay a toll, and I threw the change in the basket, but didn't quite make it in...and I couldn't find any extra change in the ashtray. It was late at night and I'd been up since 5am. Bah. This was last straw material, people.
- Driving three hours home and eating ice cream for dinner.

When my brother asked me where I was going next, the only thing I could think to say was, "Grad school." Really, that's where all my time and money will be devoted for the next 2 1/2 years. It was good to have a week and a half of downtime and fun, but now it's time to gear up for some insane school time.

Adorable videos from an entirely unbiased aunt

2011-06-03T10:52:00.007-06:00

My niece and nephew get a kick out of being wireless and jumping on the bed. Ah, the simple pleasures.

Another nephew and Grandpa...I don't know why a little tyke hitting my dad's bald head cracks me up so much. Maybe it's the slightly chicken-esque noise the boy makes.

My niece regaling us with "If You Chance to Meet a Frown" (and reprimanding our efforts to help with the words).

(P.S. Sorry about the sideways-ness of this video. I am either too lazy or not technical enough to figure it out. Just turn your head, ok?)

The J-man is easily entertained by Grandpa making a popping noise with his finger and his mouth. If you watch closely, you can see the wee lad trying to do it himself.

And we also abuse him by feeding him whipped cream from a can...and then laughing hysterically when it all comes back out of his mouth.

Frustrations with life...a.k.a. an unusual (for this writer) rant against people of the opposite gender

2011-06-02T21:58:00.006-06:00

Of late, I've been getting more and more frustrated at my interactions with gentlemen between the ages of 25 - 40. Not in general, but a few specific incidences have left me feeling uneasy and less-than-hopeful about my prospects for ever finding someone of the opposite sex to whom I would like to hitch my shining star. I don't consider myself a picky woman, but is it too much to ask for: a) ACTUAL dates instead of hanging out? b) a little respect for my life decisions and dreams? c) someone who doesn't talk solely about crass and depraved topics?

I submit that it is not. Really, I have faith in the fellas. So this one's for you...consider it some friendly advice instead of the jaded perspective of a woman in her late twenties trying to get a man (which is definitely not the intent of this post).

Recently I have been flabbergasted at some of the expectations of the men with whom I socialize. I had someone tell me that he would never get married because basically he couldn't find a girl who could keep up with him intellectually. If I had been drinking liquid, it would have come out my nose. I was so taken aback by the nerve! The gall! The cajones! Who thinks these things, let alone says them?!

I've also had some discussions at work with people who tell me that there are men around my age who are married and submit to the Donna Reed mentality of a having a woman who should know her place in the kitchen, dinner on the table when he gets home. And he gets angry and frustrated when the woman will not submit to such insane expectations, especially women who themselves have jobs or are going to school. I imagine that there must be a dividing of chores, a sharing of responsibilities; running a household demands just that. It's one thing for a girl to want to serve her family, but when it becomes an assumption that she must deliver instead of a kind act she does out of love, that's where I personally draw the line. An act of service should never be demanded by a heavy, emotionally manipulative hand. I can just imagine the chauvinistic attitude of some of these men who say terrifyingly insulting things like, "Woman, where's my supper!?" (I know...this probably doesn't actually happen and is a little over-the-top...but it illustrates my point in this case.)

I don't want to believe that men in this day and age could have such ridiculous standards for women. Do they all want someone with multiple upper level degrees and honors and titles...but one who will set all that aside to essentially play second fiddle and devote herself to a life of laundry and husband-doting? With no time for herself or her hobbies? Because don't you know it, women are best known for their ability to keep a tidy house and make cookies.

Don't worry...I love cleaning my apartment and baking up some chocolate chippy goodness. That's what I do. I am by no means a feminist, nor do I think of myself as the type who refuses to set aside my life of selfishness to serve others. BUT...I do consider myself to be a decent mix of the things that make anyone a strong, confident individual. I'm not saying that I'm the tippy top in 'marriage material' or anything, but anyone who knows me knows that I have some great qualities to offer in any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise. I mean, I do things like make cake balls. Or organize camping trips. Or become a sounding board for whatever ails my friends. I play a mean organ and budget like nobody's business. And I know that someday, some lucky man will recognize these qualities and snatch me up faster than a pair of hot red shoes at a half-price sale.

Several have ruminated about or asked me why I'm not married. (And some are saying right now, "Well, read this very blog post...that'll shed some light...") What I want to tell them is something like, "Oh, it's because I'm ugly." Yep, I'm exactly that sarcastic. But really? Like I know why I'm not married? I could list a bunch of excuses (as if one had to excuse their marital status?), but none of them holds up in the light of day.

I've been told that maybe I'm too independent or self-reliant. Heaven forbid that a woman in my circumstance take care of herself instead of becoming the damsel in distress at every turn. Wouldn't I love to be taken care of while I, in turn, take care of someone else? The answer is YES. But the answer isn't that simple when two people are involved. I'm not willing to sacrifice my self-worth to put up with hypocritical judgment or egotistical condescension from a dude who will not appreciate me and will belittle my self-worth.

So men, please stop ogling me. And tickling me. Using and abusing my kind nature for your own devices. And expecting me to fit an impossible mold. This girl is who she is and doesn't make apologies anymore.

To moms, with love

2011-05-05T07:52:00.003-06:00

Before I even begin to type what I'm about to say, I would like to excuse what may seem like a bitter rant from a single, childless woman. I have no contempt and bear no ill will against those who do hold the title of "Mother," and I'm certainly not against any future prospect of being such. Just hold tight, and I'll try to explain myself to the best of my blogging ability.

Last night I was watching Modern Family. In this show, there is a gay couple who have been together for years and have adopted a cute little girl. I won't pretend to be well-versed in gay culture, but this particular episode discussed how one of the dads has taken on a more nurturing role when it comes to the child-rearing aspect of the responsibilities. He is, however, offended when his partner brings him breakfast in bed on Mothers Day and tries to celebrate his loving tendencies toward their child. As the episode progresses, this man continues to be distressed by everyone treating him like he is a woman, a "mother."

Strangely enough, this exchange got me thinking: do I get offended when people try to foist titles on me? Am I vexed when others try to pigeon-hole me into a role I don't feel I fit? How do I like it when I feel the judgment of others for not fulfilling my motherly purpose?

I've been told by a lot of people that I am a good mom. I get it. I bring the wet wipes on car trips. I make quilts for babies. I feed crowds and clean up after them. This is just the beginning of a list of qualities I have that many mothers have fostered and honed. And the thing is, I actually like doing these things. It gives me a sense of happiness and fulfillment to send someone away a little happier than when they came to me. I like being prepared and ready for whatever situation life hands me...unless it comes with sticky hands. Hence, the wet wipes.

That being said (uh oh...here comes the big BUT...), I would beg of everyone to please stop trying to make me feel better about not having actually borne any children of my own and being an actual mom. I'm not saying this to make myself feel better. I don't cry myself to sleep about it. In fact, I like being able to shore up some 'me time' for the future when I know it will be a scarce resource (kind of like stone in every game of Settlers of Catan I play...).

And don't play the biological clock card either. Ain't gonna work.

Just because they don't have days to celebrate who I am doesn't make me any less important. No, I won't have anyone bringing me breakfast in bed, but any day can be ice cream for dinner for this girl. I don't get cute drawings or cards from devoted children, but I do get to further my education at my own pace without feeling any guilt. Kids won't come hug me and call me Mommy, but I adore the times when I get to hug my niece and nephews and give them Eskimo kisses.

So I'm not a Mom this Mother's Day. I am so many other incredible things. The following titles are acceptable, and I will happily answer to any of them:

World's Most Doting Aunt
Friend With the Best Shoulder to Cry On
Best-Prepared Non-Boy Scout
Nearly-Perfect Daughter
Jeopardy Champion (Home Edition)
Domestic Goddess

Nope, I'm not a mom. But I know a lot of awesome moms out there who deserve props up the wazoo. I bow to your sleepless nights and endless dedication to raising good, decent children. I admire the commitment and loyalty you adhere to, day in and day out. And oftentimes, you don't get lauded like you should. It's a tough, mostly thankless job. I cannot even begin to fathom the sacrifice it takes to be a parent.

So here's to the women behind the scenes who don't always get to buy cute clothes when they want, mostly because they don't have it in the budget amidst all of the diapers and eye glasses for their children. Here's to the times when you would rather just sit down and veg in front of the television, but your child needs attention, so you read them a stack of books. When you forget a kid at school. Or when your child is sick and you sit beside them while they barf. Here's to when a kid wears you down to your last shred of sanity, but you still pour your heart and soul into them because they're yours and you love them.

I have to admit, I'm getting a little teary-eyed thinking about the sacrifices my own mother made raising seven amazing children. All the times we complained about not wanting to eat potatoes. So many fights we put up against picking up rocks in the yard or doing the stupid dishes. Rebelling against bed times. Wrecking cars. Saying angry, hateful things when we didn't necessarily mean them. We were not perfect kids, that is most definite, but my mom taught us how to work. She taught us the gospel. She taught us the practical things in life like how to sew and cook and budget and can produce and play the piano. The list goes on and on. She and my dad turned out seven great kids.

I think too often I give my mom a hard time for not understanding me and my situation in life (that of being 28, single, and having no children). Let's face it, she and I are very different people. My life path and hers are so unalike that the best we can do is respect the other and celebrate what she brings to the table. I've come to respect those differences and learn from her experiences and wisdom. One day when I do have kids and I've crossed to the other side of this diatribe, I hope to be able to call her in the middle of the night when I just don't know what to do. And I know she'll gladly walk me through whatever it is. Because I am hers and she loves me.

Living it up. Counting it down.

2011-04-05T12:19:00.004-06:00

When I was a little kid, I would get so antsy in the days just preceding my birthday. I would make paper chains and get so excited to be a year older. It just meant that I got more privileges and fewer restrictions, right?

For instance, turning 8 meant that I got to be baptized into the LDS church.

The age of 12 brought with it the entrance into 'tween'hood, which meant getting to wear make-up and staying up until 9:30pm on weeknights.

When I turned 14, I could go to the stake dances and drive my dad's tractor legally on the road (true story--I actually looked forward to this...).

16 held so many possibilities with dating and a job and being able to drive an actual car.

At the ripe old age of 18, I was sure I would move out on my own and make something of myself.

The age of 21 wasn't incredibly exciting, seeing as I had no plans to ever drink...BUT, it did mean that I could get into casinos in Vegas. Which...well...yeah, I don't gamble either.

At any rate, getting older has always felt like it's opened doors for me and made life more favorable and satisfying. Oh age...what a cruel mistress you've become.

This week, I hit 28. It's not old. Seriously--it's NOT old. And I'm not just saying that. But really, what does 28 have to offer that 27 didn't? I'll tell you what I hope to accomplish during this next year of my life:

Starting school--again. August 22nd marks my first foray into the world of graduate school! I have officially been accepted at the University of Utah's MPA program, and I've been slowly coming to terms with the loss of the comforts in life I've become accustomed to, namely my afternoon nap.
Learning how to make pie crust from scratch--without any tears on my part.
Going on a week-long vacation to one of the world's little paradise places, Puerto Rico, complete with my own travel guide (little brother, Matt!).
Practicing the hymn True to the Faith enough that I can play it without the kind of anxiety that happens in those dreams where you are naked in front of a crowd.
Reading my scriptures daily (I've only missed one day since January 1st this year!) and gaining a stronger testimony of the gospel and my religion.
Planting a small patio garden (the easy part)...and keeping it alive (the not-so-easy part).

...and more. Lots more. I've found that life always has a little something different in store than I think, no matter what age I am. This is definitely not where I saw myself at 28 years of age, but I think I like this better. Strike that, I know I like this better.

Caught the fever!

2011-03-21T14:33:00.004-06:00

For reasons unbeknownst even to me, I decided this year to participate in the annual pastime of March Madness. I filled out a bracket, picked my ponies, and hopped on for a wild ride of college basketball.

What I didn't realize would happen is this: JIMMER FEVER! Now, I went to BYU, and I do have some sense of loyalty to my alma mater, but who knew I would be screaming at my television and getting the "Teach Me How to Jimmer" song stuck in my head? AND LIKE IT?!

I admittedly haven't watched a single BYU men's basketball this season....until last Thursday when they played their first game in the NCAA tournament. Blew my freakin' mind!! I've heard about how amazing Jimmer Fredette's shots are, and I'm not saying he's unstoppable, but holy crap--this stuff is basketball gold.

And apparently he's sparked a lot of controversy for this girl.

Idol worship? I don't think so. Though, maybe for some... At the Gonzaga game last Saturday, the commentators were stating how John Stockton's son played for Gonzaga and how he (Stockton) was there to see him. After Jimmer had slammed a few ridiculously amazing three-point shots, the commentators said that John Stockton's son may play for Gonzaga, but John was there to see Jimmer. As luck would have it, Jimmer's favorite NBA player is Utah Jazz's John Stockton himself.

Looks like I'm not the only one getting on the Jimmer train...my 3-year-old niece calls him her 'boy' and loves watching him on the court.

BYU's been under a lot of pressure to step up their game since Brandon Davies was suspended from the team for an honor code violation. And they have answered the call. My sister saw a fan's sign at Saturday's game that said the following:

Acceptable Honor Code Violations:
Jimmer can score...
Jackson can steal...
Charles can get high...

Jimmer, don't you dare break my heart now.

Not dirty...just practical

2011-03-17T08:44:00.000-06:00

Irrational thoughts on PIE and the number 3.14...

2011-03-15T06:24:00.007-06:00

If you've read this blog at all, you'll know that I have a baking fetish. It's unhealthy, especially for a woman such as myself, to bake as much as I do. Ask the people from work--they would like me to curb my habit, seeing as they are the ones who end up having to clean up (i.e., EAT) all of the leftovers I'm always bringing in to them.

So what better way to honor a kitchen and an obsession like mine than to celebrate Pi(e) Day? Best. Made-up. Holiday. That's right, every March 14th (or 3.14, here in America) I get to bake my little heart out, and other people get to enjoy the fruits (and chocolate...and key lime...etc.) of my labor. It's a win/win.

And no, I cannot spew forth the many points after the decimal place for the number pi. This day, for me, really has nothing to do with math. I actually kind of despise all things math-related...

This year's party--which took place last night--was a complete win. Good friends, good pie, and good times. I even got to wear my Reflections on Pi shirt (that I bought here) and be matchies with Dianne.

I had so many requests for the recipes for the pies that I made, that I thought I would post all of the recipes here. I found some recipes online (go allrecipes.com!), stole one from a restaurant (ok, they posted it online), and some are tried-and-true from my family.

Also, in case you loved the pizza we had last night, and you're ever up in the Davis County vicinity, check out this local favorite--David's Pizza is one of the best pizzas I've ever eaten, hands down. I keep going back there because it is so fantastic!

Enjoy!

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QUICHE LORRAINE
brought to you by my Dad, c/o a little French lady in the 70s

1 unbaked pie shell
1 pkg. bacon, cooked crispy and crumbled
1/3 lb. Swiss cheese, grated
3 eggs
1 cup heavy cream
butter or margarine

In the pie shell, place the crumbled bacon, then the cheese. Lightly beat the eggs and add the cream, and then pour the mixture into the pie shell slowly. Dab some butter or margarine on top, and place in a 375 degree oven for 35 minutes. Let sit for 5-10 minutes before serving.

This 'pie' was the first one gone last night. A-maz-ing.

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KEY LIME PIE
brought to you by our good friends at Market Street Grill

Crust:
15 graham crackers, crumbified
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 stick butter, melted

Stir the crumbs and the salt together, then add the melted butter and mix with a fork until combined. Press into a springform pan and bake at 35o degrees for 8 minutes.

Filling:
1 1/2 tsp grated lime zest
2/3 c freshly squeezed key lime juice
3 egg yolks
1 can sweetened condensed milk

Beat the lime zest and egg yolks in a mixer on high speed for 5 minutes, until fluffy. Slowly add the sweetened condensed milk and beat for another 3-4 minutes. Add the lime juice and mix until just blended. Pour into the prepared crust and bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees, or until set. Cool on a wire rack and then freeze. Remove from the freezer about 15 minutes before serving.

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CHOCOLATE MARBLE CHEESECAKE
brought to you by my sister, Sarah, who made this all the time when I was a teenager

Crust:
2 c gingersnap crumbs
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 stick butter, melted

Stir the crumbs and the salt together, then add the melted butter and mix with a fork until combined. Press into a springform pan and bake at 35o degrees for 8 minutes.

Filling:
1 c sugar, divided
3 pkg cream cheese, softened
1/2 c sour cream
3 eggs
3 TB flour
2 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, divided
1/4 c cocoa
1 TB vegetable oil

1. Beat the cream cheese and 3/4 c of the sugar together with the sour cream and 2 tsp vanilla in a large bowl on medium speed, until smooth. Gradually add the flour, beating until just blended. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.

2. Combine the cocoa and the remaining 1/4 c sugar in a medium bowl. Add oil, and remaining 1/2 tsp vanilla and 1 c of cream cheese mixture; stir well. Spoon plain and chocolate batters alternately over crust, ending with spoonfuls of chocolate on top. Swirl gently for with knife for marbled effect (dragging down and then back up, then going the opposite direction).

3. Bake for 10 minutes at 450 degrees. Without opening the oven door, reduce the temperature to 250 degrees; continue baking 30 minutes. Turn off oven, and leave the oven door closed. Leave cheesecake in the oven for 30 more minutes.

4. Remove from the oven and cool to room temperature. Refrigerate overnight.

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SOUR CREAM APPLE PIE
brought to you by this recipe on allrecipes.com, with my variation on the crust

Crust:
1 pkg shortbread cookies (I used the Wal-mart brand ones)
1/4 stick butter, melted

Put the cookies in a food processor until they are fine crumbs. Reserve about 1/3 of the crumbs, and put the rest into a pie plate with the melted butter. Mix with a fork until combined. Press into the pan to form a crust and bake at 35o degrees for 8 minutes.

Filling:
3/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup sour cream
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 egg
2 cups diced apples

In a medium bowl, stir together 3/4 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons of flour, and salt. Mix in the sour cream, egg and vanilla until smooth. Add apples, and stir to coat. Scrape the mixture into the pie shell.

Bake for 15 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce heat to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C), and continue baking for 30 minutes more.

After the 30 minute bake time has passed, cover the top of the pie with the rest of the shortbread cookie crumbs, and continue to bake for 15 minutes, or until topping is lightly browned and apples are tender. Allow the pie to cool, then refrigerate until chilled before serving.

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LEMONADE ICE CREAM PIE
brought to you by my family...not sure where it originated

Crust:
15 graham crackers, crumbified
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 stick butter, melted

Stir the crumbs and the salt together, then add the melted butter and mix with a fork until combined. Press into a springform pan and bake at 35o degrees for 8 minutes. Let cool completely.

Filling:
1 carton vanilla ice cream
1 can pink lemonade concentrate

Mix the ice cream and concentrate together in a mixer until smooth. Spread into cooled crust and freeze overnight.

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PUMPKIN PIE
brought to you by the good folks at Libby Pumpkin

1 (9 inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust
3/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
2 eggs
1 (15 oz.) can pumpkin
1 (12 fluid oz.) can evaporated milk

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

Combine sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger and cloves in small bowl. Beat eggs lightly in large bowl. Stir in pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture. Gradually stir in evaporated milk. Pour into pie shell.

Bake for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees F.; bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until knife inserted near center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours. Serve immediately or refrigerate. (Do not freeze as this will cause the crust to separate from the filling.)

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BLACK FOREST PIE
brought to you by my very own brain and experimenting

Crust:
2 c oreo crumbs
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 stick butter, melted

Stir the crumbs and the salt together, then add the melted butter and mix with a fork until combined. Press into a pie pan to form a crust and bake at 35o degrees for 8 minutes.

Filling:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
4 squares unsweetened baking chocolate
1 small tub frozen whipped topping
1 can cherry pie filling

In a small saucepan, combine the sweetened condensed milk and baking chocolate. Stir until combined and smooth on medium-low heat, then pour into a larger mixing bowl; refrigerate for at least one hour. With a hand mixer, combine the chocolate mixture and the frozen whipped topping to form a mousse; pour into pie shell. Refrigerate overnight and then top with cherry pie filling. Serve with whipped cream.

Worse than Charlie Brown?

2011-03-12T20:32:00.005-07:00

I'm watching A Boy Named Charlie Brown. When you think of Charlie Brown, you think of failure, right? His kite that gets torn to pieces. His horrible baseball skills.

Apparently he can spell better than I can.

When I was in the fourth grade, I was in my elementary school's spelling bee. I was excited and proud and definitely nervous. I did pretty well during the first few rounds. But then I got hit with a pretty tough word.

"Perceive."

And just like that, I was out. Poor 9-year-old Annie.

In the movie, Charlie Brown wins his school's spelling bee. In the second grade. With the word P-E-R-C-E-I-V-E. He could remember the i-before-e-except-after-c rule.

Even Charlie Brown can beat me. Good grief.

Swallowing potatoes

2011-03-03T12:30:00.002-07:00

**BE FOREWARNED--this post contains a semi-disgusting story. Just go with it, because it really demonstrates my gist. Oh, and I will not tolerate judgment upon my six-year-old self.**

When I was little, I hated potatoes. WITH A PASSIONATE VENGEANCE UPON ANYTHING SPUD-LIKE. Ask my mom, and she'll tell you that she would cook 'em, and I would turn my nose up at every potato dished unto me.

One night, during a particularly disgusting bout of potato dinner, I was refusing to clean off my plate. No matter how much hamburger and cheese and whatever else you put on there, it was still a potato, and even at a young age, my taste buds would not be fooled nor harangued into the partaking of such awfulness. Yet, I knew I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I had finished what was there.

Now, I don't know why I did this, and looking back, it really doesn't make sense, but it happened. Ok? Let's all cut young Annie a tiny break. I must have wanted to leave the table badly enough, so I got it through my head that if I just held the potatoes in my mouth like a chipmunk, it would somehow not be as painful.

"Hmm..." you might be thinking, "That is pretty backwards thinking. Why didn't you just swallow them and get it over with?" Why didn't I?! Nope, there they stayed. UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING. Yes, I slept with potatoes couched in the back of my mouth, stubborn enough to not swallow them. When morning finally did come, I realized that I would still have to swallow them, because I knew it was a rule, and I couldn't break the rules. (Gasp!)

Fast forward to my life as of late. I've known for awhile that I needed to confront a certain life situation head on. That I needed to, in essence, just swallow the stupid potatoes and be done with it. Yet for some reason, I have shrunken like a coward and not faced my fears. I could hear people chanting (in not so many words), "Just do it! DO. IT."

What had me so scared? Wouldn't it be better to find out the reality of the situation and not build this fantasy in my head? Wouldn't it be easier to just know where I stand instead of creating a dream that never existed? Wouldn't I be happier, ridding myself of the anxiety this has been causing me?

As of last night, I 'swallowed the potatoes.' And they were bitter and gross and disgusting. But at least they're not in my mouth. At least I have come to grips with the scenario being what it is. Confrontation is never easy for me, but I feel pretty great about how I handled this particular life 'adventure.' I'm not happy with the end product, but at least I can hold my head high and be satisfied that I have done everything I could. No tears (ahem--yet!). No anger or resentment. Just a renewed sense of being able to move forward, on to whatever is next.

Smiles all around!

2011-02-14T07:31:00.007-07:00

Last night I did my taxes. I went in with low expectations for how much the government owed me back because you never know what sort of crazy thing could go wrong. I kept watching the "refund amount" up at the top of Turbo Tax, hoping it would stay green. It did. A lot more green than I even dared dream. So I will be paying for my first semester of graduate school without going into debt. Yeehaw.

Today at work, to celebrate a mutual love for the cacao bean--oh, and also because it's Valentine's Day--we are chocolate fountaining it up. Want to know what we're going to try dipping in it?

Brownies (made with white chocolate chips, like my family makes 'em)
Shortbread
Homemade red velvet oreos with cream cheese frosting
Chocolate chip cookie dough
Mexican vanilla cookies
Potato chips (you read that right)
Cheesecake bites
Marshmallows
Juju hearts!
Bacon (mmm...bacon...)
Angel food cake
Strawberries
Bananas
Candy orange slices
Nutter butters
Sharp cheddar
Gingersnaps
Mini doughnuts
Pretzels
Regular oreos
Oatmeal cookies

...and whatever else my co-workers bring. It's still early, so who knows what today has to offer! All weekend long, though, it was a baking extravaganza at my house. What can I say? Baking makes me happy, and when I'm happy I bake. It's a vicious cycle. Viciously tasty...

Found on the interwebs...

2011-02-09T13:11:00.007-07:00

I've been dilly-dallying around a bit at work--don't worry, I have plenty of work to do. It's like that old saying goes, though: "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" And by old saying, I mean Lacy came up with it in junior high.

I digress...long story short, I've found some pretty hilarious Internet gems out there while I've been casually...not...working. Don't JUDGE me.

First, a joke.

Maybe a little too true.....?

And just when you thought your parents were unintentionally funny at times, if not a bit off. I think my dad might actually take this one to heart.

Always good for a laugh: Cake Wrecks. One of these things actually is not like the others...it took me a minute to find it, too.

Apparently the baker got dumped very shortly before this. Yiiiikes.

Alright, alright...I'll start working again.

10 years

2011-02-05T21:45:00.004-07:00

Last week, a group on Facebook was formed: DHS Class of '01 10-year reunion. And ever since, I've done my fair share of e-catching up--meaning I've looked at all the posts on the wall and read about what people who have been up to lately. Everyone has been telling us about their children, careers, spouses, etc. I am too shy to share with my entire graduating class on Facebook, but here goes, blogosphere.

Ten years ago, I:

Was filling out college applications.
Had zero children.
Didn't know who I would marry.
Drove a car that had seen better days.
Wasn't one of the popular kids (and I was ok with it!).
Had never been toilet papering.
Worked at a job that was more about the cool people I worked with than about the actual work.
Judged people for bad spelling.
Spent too much time on the computer.
Loved Dave's Pizza.

Now I:

Just finished filling out my graduate school application.
Have no children...and fear for the day that I actually do!
Still don't know who I'll marry...or if...
Drive an 11-year-old Honda that is usually reliable but has a few 'quirks' (a nice word for problems...)
Am spending my Saturday night blogging and watching My Name Is Earl, which is probably indicative of my 'popularity' status
Cannot say that I've ever been toilet papering...still.
Work at a job where my co-workers are half the reason I go. The other half is protecting human subjects (yeeeeessss...)
Chuckle inside at people who are poor spellers.
Usually have a computer in front of me.
Try to talk my parents into buying Dave's Pizza every time I'm up at their house around dinner time.

Hmmm...so not much has changed? Alright, just kidding. I think most everything has changed. And anyone who knew me back then and knows me now can attest to the fact that I really have gotten better with age.

Still don't know if I'll go to that reunion, though...

Things that BUG. And some that don't.

2011-02-04T10:42:00.005-07:00

It's that time again...pet peeves. Here goes:

- The thinking that one must put an apostrophe on anything that ends in the letter 's.' People, just because it's plural doesn't mean it's possessive. I know that not everyone is as grammar/spelling crazy as yours truly, but learn how to pluralize correctly. You're making it too hard.

- A wireless router that has to be cajoled into working. Unplug. Wait 30 seconds. Plug. Cross fingers that it's going to connect me to the Internet this time. Please? PLEASE?! AGH! No dice.

- The predictive text on my phone sometimes. No, I didn't mean 'fondle.' F-O-N-D-U-E. I get even more flustered at myself for not noticing these things before I hit send. It really changes the meaning of my messages sometimes, making them a lot racier than I'd hoped...

- When someone opens up the jug of milk/bottle of soda/carton of juice, pours themselves about two swallows of liquid, and then replaces the cap on said vessel. He or she then proceeds to drink said amount and repeat the process a couple times throughout a meal. My mom knows this bothers me (as I voiced my frustration the last time I was eating dinner at her house and she was engaging in this enraging activity), and now she makes a concerted effort to do it on purpose and draw my attention to it.

- A restaurant that won't honor its gift certificate according to the terms they set on it. If I had known that, I obviously wouldn't have wasted my dinero on buying the dang thing in the first place.

- Working in an ages old building that floods every few months because of some sort of problem with the HVAC or plumbing system. And then worrying every time you go into the bathroom whether or not some burly maintenance man will walk in (or drop down from the pipes/works in the ceiling!) while you're on the toilet. Also when the men's bathroom is out of commission (so they're using the women's...not a big deal) and some of them forget to put the toilet seat down. I've never really lived with a man before, so I'm not used to it. I just don't like touching the seat with my hands...yes, I have OCD.

I fully admit that these are my weird, idiosyncratic triggers for frustration. But come on, some of these bug you, too, right?

The following things, however, could happen at a greater frequency and make me smile every time:

- A random woman at work (the one I've never met...) who told me she loved my hair. Props should really go to my dazzling stylist, Raylene. I've been with her for two years now, and she's never led my hair astray.

- My nephew digging into his first birthday cake. I've never seen a kid go at it this much. It was like he was afraid we would take it away and he would never again see the chocolatey goodness of baked goods.

- Finding gems like this while browsing through family photos. Oh so many awkward memories of me as a child/teenager/adult...and it just makes me happy for all of those experiences that have made me a pretty cool person today. Or at least one who has a little better fashion sense than to wear those shorteralls (*shudders*).

In case you're wondering, that big unfinished building is the Bountiful Temple.

- Deals like $10 for a $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble. Go buy it. I don't think you'll be sorry. Groupon, let's stay friends like this forever, ok?

There. Much better. I'm not so bugged anymore. :)

Relationship PSA

2011-02-03T16:52:00.004-07:00

I am a sympathetic crier. Strike that--I basically cry at everything that is slightly sad. And you know what has been making me despair lately? Boys who have been breaking my friends' hearts.

First, I would like to insert a disclaimer: I understand that sometimes relationships don't work. I get that, oh I get that. Two people aren't always necessarily going to be compatible, so break-ups happen. I'm not trying to be bitter against men, really I'm not. Disclaimer over.

Twice in the past three weeks, I have had tearful telephone conversations with incredibly close friends who have gotten unceremoniously dumped flat on their rears by guys. I don't know all the reasons. Heck, I bet the girls themselves are keeping themselves up at night, imagining all of the reasons these guys would have chosen not to be with them anymore.

Both women are beautiful.

Both are talented.

Both are incredibly intelligent and brilliant conversationalists and independent and funny and kind and good cooks and not crazy.

Know what else these two women have in common? Both have said to me, "I feel so stupid for letting myself actually think it could work this time." They had wanted so badly to believe that they could be loved for who they were. Weird, right?

My answer to each of them is this: How are you supposed to get anywhere in the dating world without taking some sort of risk? (Hello, Pot? Yes, this is Kettle...) I have to keep coming back to the fact that in order for a relationship to ever work, walls have to crumble, communication lines have to be created, and trust has to be forged.

What do you do when it all comes crashing down? When you've actually succumbed to the butterflies, handed over a good majority of your heart, and it doesn't work out? Why does it seem that girls cannot give in to loving a man without fearing that she will only be disappointed in the long run?

I'm not going to lie...having experienced a big share of my own heartache, I've become a tad jaded. It's like each time this happens, I fall and my heart gets scraped, it scabs over, and the scar tissue sets in. And each time, it gets a little uglier and a little rougher, and I don't want to make myself to being vulnerable ever again.

Inevitably, though, I jump back on that stupid horse. I, like my aforementioned friends, fear that maybe I'm so desperate for love in my life that I make myself emotionally vulnerable before I should. I want those butterflies so badly that I basically gift-wrap my heart and toss it to any man who will come close enough.

A side note to men (assuming any man reads my blog): I think you're great. I have some fantastic friends who are men, and sometimes they have a touch that a woman does not. But men, please be real. Please be gentle. Please have a little consideration when you embark on any sort of relationship with a member of the 'fairer sex.' If you must tell her that the two of you aren't meant to be, be honest. Don't necessarily make a list of reasons the two of you shouldn't be together, but consider for a moment the excuses you are using. If you're in love with someone else, don't lead another girl on. If you say that you'll still be friends with her, don't avoid her like she's a sickness.

Also, don't insert any of the following phrases into a conversation where you intend to break up with a girl:

"You have so many awesome qualities that I like..."
"It's been fun to get to know you, but I'm in love with someone else..."
"I'm going to be moving in a few months, so I don't want to lead you on..."
"You will be a great wife and mother someday..."

All of these lines have been used in real life. Ugh.

All I know is that in both instances above with my friends, the guys could have handled the situation SO much better. I've never been a guy before (wha...??), so I don't know how difficult the break-up scenario can be on that end, but time after time after time, I feel like some of my best friends (not just the two lately!) get the short end of the stick when it comes to relationships.

Moral of the story? I don't have one. If anyone has any thoughts/solutions to avoid these inevitable pitfalls, I would love to hear them.

And ponies...!

2011-01-31T10:57:00.004-07:00

C'est Belge

2011-01-23T08:29:00.005-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I joined a few friends in partaking of the 'liege' waffles at a place in town called Bruges. The Belgian fries were very tasty with lemon pepper dill mayonnaise, and the waffles were pretty good. I would have to say, though, that the waffles, while sweet and crunchy, were kind of heavy, and you could taste the yeast. I covered it up with the chocolate (de-lish!) for most of the waffle, but my ultimate conclusion was that I could probably create something similar that tasted better and for much cheaper. (I must be pretty full of myself, I realize.)

So I did what any woman with an important mission would do...I googled. What I found was this recipe. And I don't just have pearl sugar laying around my house, so I had to purchase some online. Done.

Last night was the debut of my very own gauffres liege.

Ta da!

I was nervous, but they turned out fantastically and were entirely scrumptious. My waffle iron is covered in melted sugar, but it was worth it.

Because the one online was in metric weights and most people don't own a food scale the weighs things in grams, here's the recipe:

Belgian Sugar Waffles
3 1/2 cups flour
1 packet dry yeast
3/4 cup lukewarm milk
8 oz softened butter (2 sticks)
2 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz pearl sugar (I bought Lars Imported Belgian Pearl Sugar)

Dissolve the yeast in lukewarm milk. Gradually add all ingredients to the flour, except the pearl sugar. Mix dough for 1o minutes and then let rise for 30 minutes (until double in size). Add the pearl sugar and let rest for 5 minutes. Drop by 1/4 cup portions onto a hot, well-greased waffle iron and bake.

Note: The melted sugar will be really hot, so be careful when handling the finished waffles.

Serving suggestions: Serve with melted chocolate, powdered sugar, fruit, nutella, caramel, or whipped cream. These are also great plain.

As leftovers: I froze the unused waffles and warmed one up on the waffle iron this morning. It was still quite delicious, but definitely not the same as the fresh ones. Moral of the story: invite enough people over to eat all of these when they're hot off the presses!

Frankly, my dear...

2011-01-15T19:58:00.002-07:00

Whenever we give my dad a choice between things, he usually says, "Frankly, my dear..." and then trails off. I always knew it was a famous line from the movie Gone With the Wind, but I had never seen it. Until today. I sat through the 3 hours and 53 minutes, Scarlett's three husbands, the whole of the Civil War, and way too much death this morning.

My initial thoughts include:
a) Why is Scarlett such a conniving, manipulative ninny? I thought she was supposed to be the heroine...
b) Where is the ending to this movie? I just sat through four hours of Tara and soldiers and mourning, and we still don't know if she ended up with the guy?!
c) Why do all of the women look the same? I kept mixing up Melly and India. Maybe I just wasn't as invested as I should have been, so I missed a few things...oops.

My favorite character was Rhett Butler. He stuck to his guns, and nobody pushed him around. My favorite quote from him: "No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how." <-- This may become my mantra. At least the being kissed often and by someone who's got an idea of what he's doing.

But I was having a really good dream...!

2011-01-14T06:12:00.003-07:00

Last night during a discussion with people from my ward that ultimately turned to talk of how young some LDS girls get hitched, I had an epiphany.

It wasn't bitter. Or sad. I don't quite even know where it came from.

Just a thought that popped out of my mouth...

Man 1: "When I was bishop of the marrieds ward, most of those kids were younger than all of you!"

Man 2: "I guess some people's biological clocks go off at the age of 18..."

Me: "I keep hitting snooze on mine."

Cabin fever

2011-01-03T09:08:00.002-07:00

I have this strange urge to plan something. Anything. Lately, I've been thinking about the following:

1) A fancy dinner party. The kind where you serve appetizers and sparkling conversation on silver platters. Problems with this include: a) I don't have china; b) I don't drink wine; c) My house is on the tiny side--I could probably invite one maybe two people. But I'm an excellent cook and a brilliant organizer. Points for those...

2) A movie marathon. You know, where you hunker down and watch straight through all of the Back to the Future movies or delve deep into a season of Psych. I've been told I have very comfortable couches, but my DVD player is on the fritz.

3) A road trip. But nowhere too far. I just watched a documentary on the origins and makings of Las Vegas, and that's only a five-hour drive. While I've been there a dozen times, I still crave the excitement. I somehow forget the cigarette smoke and the crowds and all that and just remember the pretty lights and the fun shopping and food. Who's in?

4) A Rock Band night. I know, that's just so two years ago, right? Ok, I'll make this a little more current...how about a Just Dance night or a karaoke night (as we all know that karaoke is timeless...)? I'd definitely have to rustle up some more friends than I would be inviting to the dinner party brought up in number one up there. But they could sit on the couches I mentioned in number two...

5) A board game extravaganza! We used to play board games a lot more in my family before we added the niece and nephews, but now it's a little tricky with the little tykes either wanting to play or getting into mischief while we are concentrated on whodunnit in Clue or who has the most cherry orchards in The Farming Game. And I live alone, so it's not like I can play board games on my own...so...you do the math...

6) Snowshoeing to a cabin in the woods where there's a fire crackling in the fireplace and a gorgeous man waiting to give me a foot massage. Hey, a girl can dream!

Countdown FROM 2010...

2011-01-01T15:18:00.007-07:00

Usually you count down to a New Year. I'd like to try a little something different here, so I'm counting down ten important events that occurred in 2010.

$10 spent on my new phone. I've only had it for a little while, but I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to pre-smartphone days. Weather. Email. Notes. Scriptures. Camera. Calendar. Flashlight(!). I don't play Angry Birds, but people seem to like it...

* * *
9 months of pregnancy for Natalie, my sister. Which resulted in a bouncing baby Jared! I tell her this about every time I see the wee tyke, but if I were guaranteed a kid as cute and well-behaved as that one, I'd be excited about having kids one day instead of hesitant and scared. Here's my favorite picture of the boy thus far; we were eating sushi and fed him a little bit of the rice with sauce on it...he hated it.

* * *
8-day Ireland vacation with three lovely ladies! I want to lay in a field there and just soak in the ocean breeze and Irish air. I would eat the brown bread and fish & chips and flirt with the guy in the silversmith shop in Kilkenny. I'm still a little skeptical that the Blarney Stone actually helped in the eloquence department...

* * *
7 months to lose 25 lb. And now I'm at my goal weight! (Well, just a titch more now after the holidays...)

* * *
Panel 6 at work. I'd be lying if I said it's been a walk in the park, but it has been good to help train some new board members in order to take care of some of the huge workload we've been undertaking lately. I mean, go research!

* * *
5 biopsy needles. IN. THE. NECK! So glad I a) did not have cancer; and b) don't have to have another neck biopsy anytime soon. Yikes!

* * *
4 new tenants at my condo in Provo. Argh to the turnover!! Here's hoping 2011 brings more stability in the renting environment. If not, I've given serious consideration to selling the place...

* * *
3 different church callings. I started out the year as the Relief Society 2nd counselor, made a detour to the FHE committee for a couple months, and have now settled in nicely as a ward organist. Multi-talented? Um...yeeeeeees. Or just willing to accept. :)

* * *
2 eyes to see the following:

Sundance - Frozen and It's A Wonderful Afterlife
Hale Center Theater - The Importance of Being Earnest, Fiddler on the Roof, Three Musketeers, Pirates of Penzance
Tournament of Kings at Excalibur in Las Vegas
Rachel's SLC Women's Choir singing Beatles and 70s tribute music
Utah Symphony - Mahler's Titan, Oz with Orchestra, and Bruckner's Symphony No. 9
Cake Wrecks on tour
SLC Bees game
Lord of the Rings marathon...straight through...until 3am...
Disneyland!
California Adventure (first time)
Old Town in San Diego
Shakespeare Festival - Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, Great Expectations: The Musical, Pride and Prejudice
Murder mystery dinner with Poison Ivy Mysteries
Capitol Theatre - Lion King (broadway musical), La Boheme (opera), Carmina Burana (ballet)
Utah State Fair
Springville Museum of Art quilt show
Real Salt Lake game
Jack Johnson concert
Half of Oliver at the Grand Theater and half of Dracula at Kingsbury Hall... (when shopping or sleeping sounds like a better idea than knowing how a play ends, you gotta leave...)
Phoenix concert (the band, not the city)
San Diego Zoo
Mormon Tabernacle Choir with David Archuleta and Michael York in their Christmas concert spectacular
Tons of other movies, television, documentaries...

Thanks to the people who have taken me to these shows (*cough* Lacy *cough*) and put up with my silly comments and sometimes ridiculous tears...I love me some theater and film and all other sort of visual stimulation.

* * *

...and the number one thing I did this year? I made one big decision: TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! GRE, check (halle-freakin'-lujah)! Applications, started! Meeting with the MPA department, done! By this time next year, I will be one semester into a Master's. I'm freaked out. And excited. And entirely nervous...

So, 2011...let's do this thing. Goals/resolutions/awesome changes I'm supposed to make: TBD.

December in pictures

2010-12-30T19:16:00.013-07:00

Rhonda the Honda hit 150,000 miles. (And yes, this picture was taken with one hand on the wheel whilst driving 65mph and the other on the phone camera, capturing this momentous occasion.)

I went to the San Diego Zoo for the first time. Work sent me to San Diego for a conference, but there was time for play, too.

Llama face!

I don't know why, but flamingos have always been my favorite! (Though, they tend toward the more fragrant--blech--end of the animals...)

My sister Sarah loves turtles, so I had to snap a shot!

...and my sister Laura loves giraffes. (I've always wondered why it's not 'giralves' plural...)

My view of the San Diego Marina from the convention center.

I would go out to the veranda during lunch and just bask in the sun while I thought about my family and friends back in Utah who were freezing. Vitamin D really does do a body good. I even got a bit of a sunburn, and I've never been happier to have gotten one.

My co-workers taking a load off while we waited to head to the airport to come home.

These trees were fascinating. And they apparently ate kites. Luckily there was a kite store just a little ways down the boardwalk. (Talk about location, location, location!)

Coronado Bridge

Sun reflecting on the water...imagine the sadness in my heart, as this was only hours before I got on a plane to return to the bitter, frozen tundra.

Isabelle (my niece) decided to make a fashion statement in her gingerbread jammies and my heels.

This was actually a lot worse than it looks in this picture...but it's the result of my clumsiness coupled with my lack of paying attention.

I was wrapped up in googling something on my awesome new phone (the same phone that brought you all of the pictures you see in this post!), and I tripped up the stairs on my way into a restaurant.

Mo Tab and David Archuleta! Woo!

No, we didn't purchase tickets (who DOES that?!), but we almost didn't make it in with the tickets we did have. My mom procured them through some connections she has on her temple shift, so my sisters, my mom and I headed to the conference center for the preview performance. HOLY. FREAK. Traffic = disaster. Parking = nightmare. Lines = crazy town. Everyone was so angry and pushy and it seemed like those in charge were incapable of doing their jobs. Long story short, my mom and I had to elbow our way in, whilst in cell phone contact with Rachel, who was saving us seats. We barely made it. I was going to cry when I finally collapsed in my seat. The concert was fantastic and beautiful, and while I'm not a David Archuleta fan, I gotta say that that boy has got good pipes.

I look tired or drunk. Rachel is photogenic as always. And we look like we're sharing one big shirt.

On my way to work I saw deer tracks in the freshly-fallen snow! Yes, I stopped and snapped this photo.

Jared (nephew) in his toy box. He crawls in there by himself! Keeps him entertained for hours.

My sisters and I helped Natalie make a cake for her somehow-related sister-in-law or something.

We cut the timing on this thing pretty close, but made it...barely. I mostly helped with the insides of this beautiful cake. The artistic stylings were done by Rachel, Paulie, and Natalie. My contribution comes in the form of delicious cake and a crazy-difficult cinnamon chocolate meringue frosting that took an hour to make. Too bad I can't give you each a sample via this post...

Oh, and the bottom layer is a light orange-flavored layer that was quite scrumptious.

On Christmas Eve, Isabelle got slippers. She decided Bruce the dog needed to try them on. He didn't seem to mind.

On my drive home from anywhere north of my place, I come down the hill by the Capitol to this sight. It is kind of neat as you crest that hill and are suddenly immersed in the light of Christmas.

What can I say? They are 'man's best friend'...

Baby J sure loves his grandpa. (Don't tell my dad these pictures are on here...he says his face is copyrighted...)

Sarah, Dennis, Michael, Isabelle, and I went to see the lights on Temple Square this last Monday night. I absolutely love this view of the temple.

And if you've made it this far in this blog post, bravo! Here's a little treat. :)

Too much

2010-12-29T21:29:00.003-07:00

I use too many ellipses in my general typing and whatnot. Go check out my Facebook statuses (stati?), and you'll see that out of the past dozen updates, a whopping NINE of them contain the beloved dot dot dot. I cherish that bit of punctuation because it so precisely indicates a beautiful pause or awkward silence.

Around my kitchen tonight, I think I dropped about fourteen different things. And I freezer burned my fingers. And somehow gouged my toe. Too clumsy I am. (Whoa, am I Yoda?)

There is absolutely too much snow in Utah (there she goes on her annual snow rant!). I've been inside since 3:00pm...and when I came inside, there was no white stuff. Not a flake on the ground. Right now I'm listening to a snowblower and looking at my balcony at a few inches of the stuff. Apparently they've been closing roads. I will stay inside and watch movie upon movie, thankyouverymuch. Please wake me when it's April.

For Christmas, I got a mess of M&Ms. I sat down today and ate them. All of them. It was like this big goal for me to get through the entire lot. Well, you may congratulate me because I am apparently an M&M eating master. Ask me how I feel tomorrow...

And this is what happens when you apply too much heat to the front of a computer tower:

...but my feet were warm. :)

Recipe for Christmas cheer

2010-11-28T20:15:00.004-07:00

It's that time again...time for my TiVo to be filled with Christmas delights--er, movie specials. Some of you might think it's a waste of time for me to watch the cheesy goodness, but every year, it fills me with a crazy, giddy joy to see what Hallmark and ABC Family have to offer in the way of holiday programming. Sometimes after awhile, though, they all seem to meld together into a red-and-green swirl of joy mixed with plot and character development.

The way I figure it, here are the ten things it takes to make a good Christmas movie:

1) A hunky male lead
2) A woman who's trying to 'make it on her own' but somehow needs a man around the yuletide season to make things happy and complete
3) Some unfortunate incident (death of a parent, loss of a job, etc.) around the holidays that causes either said hunky male lead or aforementioned woman to hate Christmas and everything related to it
4) A killer soundtrack of cheery music, complete with lots of bell-ringing in the tunes
5) A 'magical' genie, witch, wish-granter of sorts--bonus points if he/she disappears in a mysterious way
6) Someone who doesn't believe in Santa Claus but is converted by the end of the two-hour film
7) A town that bands together for some sort of cause
8) References to the lack of or abundance of snow (because that's what makes Christmas Christmas, after all!)
9) A gift or keepsake that makes an appearance and has special meaning
10) Changes of heart that can only happen around this magical, magical time of year

Seriously, folks, I should be in the Christmas movie biz because I could write these things in my sleep by now! I give props and kudos to the movies that throw me for a loop, because with over 30 of these things on my DVR awaiting my viewing, I have to be picky! I've instigated a rule that a show has until its 30-minute mark to enthrall me. After that, if I'm not hooked, to the trash can it goes.

Shoes? Yes, please...

2010-11-26T11:27:00.002-07:00

This morning, to celebrate the official beginning of the holiday (read: Christmas) season, I did the following:

* Set up my tree and nativity
* Cranked up the holiday tunes on my laptop
* Participated in Black Friday (from afar!) by going online and spending WAY too much time ogling beautiful clothes.

The ogling turned into buying--four pairs of shoes. Uh...BOGO half off and 20% off on top of that? Thank you, Famous Footwear. In my defense (I argue: should an independent woman making her own living ever have to justify her fashion purchases? No.), I have been searching for a few different types of shoes to replace some old favorites that have worn out. Found! Found. FOUND.

Speaking of shoes, and if you really want to drool...my lovely, witty, fantastic friend Heidi has a blog you should visit: http://theshoeologist.com/. This girl has a bajillion shoes and is always finding something awesome. Just go look at the pretty heels, mmkay? She's also having a giveaway contest for free boots! Be forewarned that you may end up getting an itch to buy more pairs of shoes than your closet can rightly contain. :)

It's called a 'cruel irony'...

2010-11-23T07:18:00.002-07:00

Want to hear the good news? I've officially hit my goal weight. Yeah, after 7 months of tiny ups and downs, I've whittled myself into quite the svelte character. And I'm not going to lie--I'm pretty proud of myself. I don't look back and think that I've cheated myself in any way (as far as eating goes), and I honestly like how I feel!

I'm not here writing this to brag about the size I wear or how many inches I've lost, but I'm incredibly happy to be celebrating the achievement of a goal. A concrete, write-it-down-and-work-each-day goal. It's a tad strange, though, because I'm thinking, "So...what now?" I'll tell you what now: Keep exercising. Keep eating my daily oatmeal. Keep sneaking in the fun food but not letting it take its control over me.

What does slightly annoy me is that I have hit this fabulous milestone right on the brink of a particularly difficult season for a food-lover--Thanksgiving and Christmas. Come on, when it comes down to the choice of eating four extra rolls or the decision to have pie for breakfast, I have to admit: I. AM. WEAK. And Christmas candy? If it's red, I'm eating it.

Things fall apart

2010-11-04T06:52:00.003-06:00

Things really do fall apart, Chinua Achebe. Like hearts. And lungs. Or brains. Such is the case in my family these days. I mentioned in a previous post that my family is single-handedly keeping the medical biz alive lately. Funny as that may be, it's starting to get out of control.

I hope my family doesn't mind me talking about them so openly and candidly on my blog. Most all of them are fairly non-secretive about their conditions and post their own snippets on Facebook and the like. I will try not to invade any of their privacy or make them uncomfortable about what I put on here.

Sister #1: Diagnosis - tumor on the pituitary. Last night I came home from the ballet (beautiful and fabulous!) and checked my email and Facebook, per usual. I found a note written by my sister stating that she was preparing for brain surgery on Friday to have a tumor removed from her pituitary. I knew something had been wrong. I had heard bits and pieces, but I didn't know the severity of this issue. Her husband, children, and other family can't really be with her, either. I'd like to think that she's taking it calmly in stride, because she is handling the situation without a lot of emotion. I just know how I would feel. The two words 'brain surgery' would be enough to throw me into a fit of tears, and in fact, reading about my sister's 'brain surgery' did send me over that precipice for a few minutes, as my heart ached for her.

Sister #2: Diagnosis - undetermined; may be neurological or cardiological (I don't think that's even a word, but I'm running with it). Several lumbar punctures (youch!), biopsy appointments, drugs, scans, time spent with several specialists, and the only answer is this: yes, there is SOMEthing wrong with you. We don't know what, but we'd love to prod you some more and wait for your cerebrospinal fluid to rise to dangerous levels right before helping you out. I honestly don't know how Sister #2 handles it, but what can you really do? You just keep living day by day, surrounded by people who love you and support you and would do anything for you. The best I can do is take her kids to McDonald's or bring her a giant microbe at the hospital after she's just had a semi-permanent monitor placed in her heart. Add to this her children who suffer with their own medical problems (see below) and a mother-in-law who recently passed away after a horrible bout with cancer. This sister is definitely down for the when-it-rains-it-pours award.

Nephew: Diagnosis - nobody knows, but after 8 years, they keep trying! This big guy has always lived a life full of monitors (who knew a kid could forget to breathe so much?) and doctors. Just this last week, he was diagnosed with a few additional problems that required some exploratory surgery. The good news is that these problems might lead a step closer to finding out what's happening big picture. Fingers crossed!

Sister #3: Diagnosis - interminable migraine headaches interspersed with dizziness and nausea. After about 6 weeks of not being able to hardly function because of constant headaches, Sister #3 decided it was probably time to see a professional. Now I quasi work in the medical industry, so I've seen the good and bad doctors can do, but really, doctors are just people. The first doctor told her it was probably a sinus infection or allergies and gave her some pills. No bueno. Since then, she's been in for two MRIs and to the chiropractor, and the best they can tell her is that it isn't a tumor. Luckily the chiropractation (word? don't care...) has been helping, but the jury's still out.

If that's not enough, let's talk about my own cancer scare from earlier this year, or my little brother's problems with abdominal whatnot on his mission. Or happiest of all, a new nephew being born but only after a painful pregnancy for my sister.

Here's what I have learned:

1) Health insurance, crazy as it may be, is a life saver. Sure, jumping through their hoops can sometimes be a joke, but just thinking of the costs for all the tests and procedures mentioned above is truly overwhelming.

2) In pain and heartache, my family knows where to turn for comfort--whether it be to cry upon one another's shoulder or seeking the Lord's help.

3) Dwelling on the difficult things doesn't make you feel good. Profound, right? Really, in my own experience and in discussing the experiences my family has had, you wake up each morning, figure out how much you can accomplish, you get to task, and you try to have a positive outlook. Oh, there's plenty of complaining that takes place, but once the complaining is done, it is sweet to see where others fill in the gaps of what we cannot ourselves get done.

And so, after my minute and a half of sobbing alone at my house last night, thinking of how much I want to absorb the pain and tumult that is affecting my family, I take comfort in the fact that when it comes down to it, we're going to be ok. We have each other. Things might fall apart, but we keep it together the best we can.

I'm too old for this...

2010-11-02T08:54:00.003-06:00

My rusty brain has come out of storage as I've been diligently studying my heart out for the dear GRE (coming up in two and a half weeks!). Just a few thoughts....

Dear Vocabulary section--I thought I knew words. Really, I did. My lexicon is extensive, and I love language, so I figured I'd be set. What you have taught me is this: there are too many words. My brain is only so big, and it hasn't been truly exercised in awhile.

And Math?

Doozies, Desires, Delights...

2010-10-22T14:27:00.001-06:00

Life has been a bit rumbly tumbly lately. But I get it--that's what it's all about. Getting through the rough bits, enjoying the sunshiney parts to their fullest. So I've been trying to soak it all up. Earlier this week, while I was on my walk home, I thought of three areas of my life I wanted to share with the blogosphere: the doozies I've been experiencing, the desires I hope and wish for, and the tiny delights that I find in every day.

Doozies:

1) I started a new facet of my job this week: a brand new panel consisting of entirely green reviewers. I did volunteer for this, and I think ultimately this will be for the good of all, but there are growing pains. I got to keep a couple of my trusty reviewers (thanks, Jack!), and the chair for my panel will do exceptionally. Lots of work goes into getting these people trained, but I'm hopeful. Speaking of my job--some of my co-workers have been going through their own doozies. My heart goes out to each of them in their troubles.

2) Ok, family--it's time to stop financing doctors' vacation homes. In the past few weeks, several of my siblings have discovered health problems, or have gone through surgery, or have generally fallen apart, healthwise. I like to call this year the Year of the Doctor. I would like to call 2011 the Year of NO Doctors. Let's work on that, ok? (The finger is pointed at me, too...I know.) In truth, though, my prayers and thoughts are filled with worry and concern for my family members as they get through their individual crises.

3) Now might be the time to finally throw in the towel on home ownership. Every time I think I've got three great tenants who will keep paying their rent each month, one of them leaves me. Last week I found out that one of the girls will be needing to move out next week...which leaves me on the hunt for someone to fill her spot in my condo in Provo. Any leads are appreciated.

Desires:

1) I want to make it rich (or marry for money) so I have enough time and funding to really hit my hobbies hard. Fabric isn't cheap, people. And quilting takes a fair number of hours. So I'd really love to discover that my condo is on an oil well or find me a handsome sugar daddy who is willing to support my addiction. Also my addiction to clothes shopping and eating at nice restaurants.

2) Passing the GRE with flying colors would cause me great giddyness. Please let it be so. I guess studying would help aid my cause. Let's put studying for that sucker in the 'doozy' category. November 20th it'll all be over...OR

3) I would love for my brain to shut off for about a week; a week in Hawaii would be ideal. In a Hawaii where Alex O'Loughlin is a law enforcement officer. Mmmm...

Delights:

1) Being able to fit into clothing that is sized in single digits. Since mid-April, I've lost over 20 lb. I only have 4 more lb. to my goal, which, when achieved, will result in a shopping spree to Park City. If you see me shoving my face full of chocolate (uh, Josi's birthday cake for breakfast? Just go with it...), I give you all permission to prod me to be better, but understand that chocolate is sometimes a necessity. I will try to reign in the bratty responses to any gentle gestures of reminder.

2) Walking home from work on a crisp, sunny, Autumn day. It's a good 40-minute walk, but it's all downhill, and it's a good release after a day full of work pressure. I feel more physically relaxed and less tense. And I have to take advantage of the beautiful weather while it's here because it's bound to change quickly.

3) Watching my oatmeal bubble in the microwave. This is stupid and silly, but I love it. It's incredible to see the boiling action start on one side, work its way around the outside of the bowl, and then all of the oatmeal and water join in. And it's different every time! Hey, I can enjoy this small thing, right? What's even better are the days when I don't have to be afraid of the janitor trampling all over my ritual with his inane speech about how I don't have kids. (I did find out today that the janitor may no longer be with our office...I'm not holding my breath.)

4) I went to the opera with Paulie on Wednesday, as part of her '30 New Things in 30 Days'. I had never been to a real opera before (does the Broadway version of Phantom of the Opera count?), so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I loved it! The supertitles were easy to follow, the performers were fantastic, and it wasn't quite as long as I had thought it would be. The acts went quickly--the part that took the longest was the intermissions. It was fun to dress up and go out to a 'high brow' event.

Fighting it

2010-10-11T22:46:00.004-06:00

You can bet I'll be fighting this lovely gem that showed up on my windshield at the church parking lot this evening. I did not spend time in line at the stupid (and slightly disgusting) DMV and an extra $6 (I know, it's a mighty sum...) for my car registration and temporary permit--which is good until October 19th and proudly displayed in my back windshield!--to have to go wait for a 'hearing officer' between the hours of 7:30am and 4:30pm sometime in the next ten days. Dear Issuing Officer: Did you even look for evidence of temporary registration, or did you just get so excited about your new electronic doo-dad that prints up pretty tickets that you simply had to issue this sucker? SERIOUSLY?! The injustice!! This wrong must be righted.

On a happier note, this great Ben Folds song came to mind as I was typing the above diatribe. Enjoy. :)

Pain

2010-09-30T15:04:00.004-06:00

Last night I was watching my niece and nephew. We got out of my car after a rousing trip to McDonald's and the grocery store, and I proceeded to shut the trunk--on my niece's little fingers. I was afraid they were stuck and that I would be caught fumbling for my keys in order to free the poor thing. There was definite relief when I gave her hand a quick tug and pulled, getting her fingers out of there.

Her 2-year-old wails filled the garage as I scooped her up. "I'm so so SORRY!" I told her. I made promises of ice for her hand and ice cream for her tummy... Luckily, the damage was none too severe, because soon the Veggie Tales movie was way more exciting than her pinched hand.

I worry sometimes about the pain I inflict on others. Whether it be emotional, physical, psychological...doesn't matter. I hate to be the cause of the hurt. But hurt and pain are inevitable, it seems.

My niece's pain in her smashed fingers seemed trite compared to what followed: seeing my 8-year-old nephew's face as he was told that his grandma would be dying soon. Watching my brother-in-law trying to be strong for his kids as his only remaining parent battles cancer and pain and hurt I personally cannot fathom. Hearing my sister tell me about how she will be losing not just a mother-in-law, but a friend.

I hate to see the hurt.

I hate hurting.

T minus 54 days...

2010-09-27T08:00:00.000-06:00

I'm taking the GRE on November 20th. What am I doing...?

Overheard at the office...

2010-09-17T07:48:00.003-06:00

It's no secret that I'm a morning person. I like to take advantage of this flaw--strike that: charming trait-- by getting to work pretty early. Lately, I've gotten here as the janitor makes the rounds vacuuming or emptying garbage. This has led to some fairly awkward conversations.

Conversation #1 (two weeks ago-ish):

Scene - Early in the morning, in the office kitchen, waiting for my morning oatmeal to cook for 80 seconds in the microwave (instant, they say? I don't think so...).

Him: So what do you do here?

Me: Oh, we do research administration, making sure studies are safe for people. (A short, bare bones description of what I do...)

Him: That sounds cool. Do you like it?

Me: Yeah, it's fun. I like the people I work with, which makes it better.

Pause...

Me: So...do you like it here? (Thinking: "Really, Annie? You couldn't have thought of a better question than that? He's cleaning toilets and mopping floors...")

Him: Well, this is just sort of an inbetween thing...I have a BS degree, but I made some bad mistakes, and now I've just got to work some things off.

Me: Oh, I know how that goes... (In my head: "Do you know how it goes, Annie? DO YOU?!?")

Luckily, at this point, my oatmeal was done, so I bade him good day and speed-walked to my desk. It was harmless enough, as conversations go, but I felt like a bumbling mess, and the whole thing made me a bit uneasy.

Conversation #2 (this morning):

Scene - I am at my desk, starting to pull up work; we've just said pleasant good mornings in the kitchen, per usual. Right after my male co-worker left the room to talk to his wife on the phone for a few minutes, the janitor made his entrance to take out the garbage in our offices.

Him: So, how old are you?

Me: Twenty-seven.

Him: And you're not married? (Keep in mind, we have never before discussed my marital status...)

Me: Nope, it just hasn't happened for me yet.

Him: That biological clock of yours must be ticking...

Me: I'd be ok if it comes down to it and I don't have kids of my own.

Him: Yeah, I'm guessing they're not all they're cracked up to be.

Me: Haha...I'm content to sugar up my nieces and nephews and then send them on home to their parents. I get to sleep through the night and not have to change diapers. Best of both worlds.

Him: So I'm guessing you grew up in an LDS family?

Me: Yep.

Him: I bet you get a lot of pressure from your parents to get married.

Me: (Thinking: "Where is this conversation GOING?!") Ha...ha...um...well, yeah, but I tell them to back off when I need to.

Him: Yeah, you've got plenty of time.

Me: Yeah, I was engaged for a bit, and that was a bad situation, so I tell them that I'd rather be alone than in a bad situation like that.

Him: Yeah, definitely. I just noticed you don't have a ring on...

By this point, he was done taking out the garbages and a different one of my co-workers had walked in (mercifully!), so he was on his way out the door.

These are not things I like to discuss with maintenance staff. Maintenance staff with an odd resemblance to James Hetfield from Metallica.

When I told my co-worker the conversation that had just taken place, he chimed in, "I could tell his boss to get him to stop talking to you." Well, I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings, and I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm "creeped out" by him, but really? Your pleasant conversation skills could certainly use some honing, buddy.

Why I am so LOST!

2010-08-30T22:06:00.016-06:00

***SPOILER ALERT! If you have not watched and plan on watching the television show LOST, DO NOT CONTINUE READING.***

Yes, my Netflix account has been earning its keep at my place, and I've finally decided to delve into the show so many love, LOST. I know, I know, I'm pretty behind the times, but I like to be able to watch episode after episode in order to keep the non-cohesive story line as unmuddled as possible. What I want to know is this: how did anyone watch this stuff from week to week? I never would have been able to follow it, and I probably would have broken up with the show immediately following the "WHAT?!" moment when they discovered the infamous hatch at the end of the first season.

That being said, I have successfully made it to the fifth episode of the fourth season. I gotta say, things are starting to blow my mind. Flash forwards have begun happening, and keeping everything straight is proving to be a little rough. Desmond can travel through time? Kate's now taking care of baby Aaron? Jack grew a beard? Where are Michael and Walt? What the crap is up with the smoke monster and the polar bears? Why did only six people make it off the island (or so they want us to think...Oceanic 6)? Is Hurley really crazy? (And why'd they name a Weezer album after him?)

Here are a few things that really bug me about the show:

1) If I have to hear the line, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" one more time, I might throw something at my television (which would be a downright shame). Writers, please come up with a more original line than this for when you want characters to act independently and not take guff from whoever has a different plan from theirs.

2) Why did the third season become the "bangs" season for all the women on the island? I realize they probably would have enjoyed some beauty updates, seeing as they're suffering through being stranded on an island, but where'd they get the scissors? (In someone's suitcase or from The Others' barracks, I'm sure...) Seriously, don't they have bigger things to worry about? Like who's going to turn on whom next?

3) How many effing guns are on this dang island? Sheesh. If you want something done right, just negotiate for a gun you can brandish about. Someone's bound to be hoarding them (Sawyer, I'm looking in your direction), and there will undoubtedly be some promise made--and then later broken--in order to procure said guns.

4) Charlie's dead? Yep, end of season 3. And Dominic Monaghan was one of the prime reasons for my watching the show. His accent and lovable character brought me back for more. Curse that stupid Looking Glass hatch and having to unjam the satellite signal! I want my heroin-addicted rockstar back. :( As long as we're on the topic, I want Boone (Ian Somerhalder) back, too. He's quite easy on the eyes.

5) Kate's in love with Jack. Kate's in love with Sawyer. Wait, she's back to Jack. But Sawyer saved her life. But JACK! He's a doctor! Sawyer's a bad boy! Could we maybe get a new love interest on the island? Desmond is pretty hot in his short-hair/no-beard days...and a Scottish accent to boot. Just sayin'.

Wow, it sounds like I either a) hate this show; or b) watch it only for the attractiveness of the gentlemen. It's more of a love-hate thing, really. I have so many questions, so I'm willing to see this series out to the end--I hear the finale is cry-worthy...and you know how I feel about a good cry at the end of a show.

P.S. If you've seen the end, help a sister out and don't ruin it for me, please!

Pants on fire

2010-08-29T11:38:00.003-06:00

I'm a liar. My driver's license says so. I used to be a really big liar when the little box that declares my weight said I weighed fifteen pounds less than I actually did. Shame on me, right? Well, I showed that little weight box! Since April, I have lost those fifteen pounds and more. I guess that makes me a liar still, by the state's license standards.

But this time, maybe I actually could set some of my old pants on fire...as they no longer fit.

Passport Picture Progression

2010-08-12T07:20:00.000-06:00

Seeing as my passport expired less than two weeks after I got back from Ireland this last April, I figured it was time to get the thing renewed. It's not like I have any particular vacation for which I will be needing it soon, but I figure it's always good to keep my options open, just in case a chance to flee the country arises.

All I could think of while I was filling out the passport application online last night was that part in Sneakers where they're trying to record Werner Brandes saying all of the words in the voice code that he uses to get into the secure building. "I love to hear a guy say the word passport." Really, Werner, you fell for that? Really?! I guess it was back in 1992 when men would do anything to land a skir--I mean hot chick.

Ahem. Back to the point at hand.

Naturally, since I am renewing my passport, I got my picture taken last week.

Here's my smiling face:

Which is much better than my previous picture, circa 2000 AD:

The eyebrows! The double chin! The bangs!! The HORROR! Suffice it to say, I'm not sad to see this puppy out the door...

When the security officer at the Abu Dhabi airport told me that I looked 'much better' now (back in 2008), as he tried--puzzledly--to match the photo of my 16-year-old self to the woman standing in front of him, I was a little ashamed to say that yes, that was me (only now sans the 'wall of bangs'). On the same token, though, it's nice to think that, like a fine wine, I've only gotten better with age.

Remains of the day...

2010-08-04T21:29:00.004-06:00

In case you're wondering, no, I've never read the book; I did start it once. Sheesh, just go with it.

Rants for today include the following:

A) The creepy, slimy-talking, can't-wear-anything-but-a-wife-beater across-the-hall neighbor caught me in the hall on my way in today. He does this thing where he tries to be friendly, but it just makes me extremely uncomfortable. And today marks the inauspicious occasion of the third time I've had to listen to the very same diatribe he pulls out about Comcast's new digital boxes and how he thinks it's all one big conspiracy. Sorry dude, but I've got my own Comcast box issue to deal with--which leads me to...

B) None of my shows are recording since the TiVo and the Comcast converter box can't play nice. I take that back--ONE of my shows is recording correctly. It's Jeopardy. I'm thanking my lucky stars.

C) ROAD. CONSTRUCTION. Our good friend, Jeff Foxworthy, had a little something to say about this: "If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah." (He also had some other funny things to say about Utahns...) Dear UDOT, there's something to be said for not having to drive through eight thousand potholes, but please keep a lane or two open during rush hour, will ya? Love, all of Utah humanity.

Speaking of love...today was actually pretty great. The following parts were my favorite:

A) Going to the Corner Bakery with friends. I've never actually eaten there eaten there (does a piece of lemon pound cake from there count?), so it was fun to try something new with a fun group of people. Best turn in conversation? "I would date a white collar criminal...at least they're fairly intelligent." On second thought, though, if they're serving time, they're not that smart. If he were Matt Bomer, however... For those of you who are living in a cave and have peasant-vision (i.e., no cable television), Matt Bomer plays a white collar criminal on USA Network's show White Collar. Highly recommended, if only for the eye candy.

B) Seeing the quilt exhibit at the Springville Museum of Art. It did two things for me: 1) made me drool over all of the awesome piecing, quilting, designing, and fabric (shoot me, I'm a quilt nerd!); 2) piqued my interest in designing quilts--it's not that hard! This hobby shall be explored further... Also at the museum was my lovely friend, Jessica. She's some sort of awesome museum fancy-pants education something-or-other, and she showed me the beautiful sculpture garden and gave me fun facts about the quilts on display.

C) Accomplishing two very immediate goals on my list today: taking out the garbage and going to the bank. Done and done. My bill pays won't bounce and my house won't stink. It's the little things, people.

D) Getting in my bed before 11:30 tonight. Sadly, it's the first time this entire week that this is true. My body is beginning to revolt, but I fight it back with caffeine and long afternoon naps that make the cycle continue perpetually. If there's one thing I've learned: a girl cannot live on Diet Coke and Diet Coke alone. Maybe Diet Coke Plus, though (you know, because of all those 'vitamins' and 'minerals'...).

How to get meals for you and two friends (plus dessert!) for under $5

2010-07-24T23:33:00.005-06:00

It’s as easy as following a few simple steps:

1) Meet up with a couple friends at the Blue Plate Diner in Salt Lake City.

2) Order a Diet Coke; drink said Diet Coke like a thirsty beast. Ask the waitress for another one.

3) Have your new drink spilled all over the table, complete with a pile of ice ending up on your sandwich and fries.

4) In the all of the mayhem that ensues, brace yourself for the additional coffee inadvertently poured down your friend’s back. Onto her white shirt. And beautiful hair.

5) Listen politely to the manager’s profuse apologies and his offer for a free meal and dessert to go; take him up on said offer.

BONUS STEP: Leave a $5 tip because it’s just plain nice.

I headed out to brunch this morning, all set to catch up with friends and enjoy the holiday. Then the above occurred… After half a glass of Diet Coke almost ended up in my friend Andrea’s lap, she and I tried to stem the tide of cola with our meager scraps of napkin. Six seconds later we look up to our friend Jessica getting patted down by the waitress; Jessica is lifting up her hands in refusal and saying something to the effect of, “No, no, no!” Andrea and I both thought it was a bit odd that Jessica was having a freak-out (considering it was my drink and sandwich that had been ruined), only to discover that the waitress had a cup of hot coffee that had been spilled down poor Jes’s back in the midst of the hubbub.

The whole thing reminded me of the scene from Groundhog Day when they're in the diner and you hear all of the dishes crash... "Just put that anywhere!"

Food is delicious there, ambience is fun, so it really was quite a shame and a pity that our experience was marred by this unfortunate accident. The server felt extremely bad and couldn’t stop being as sweet as could be to try to make up for the mishap. The manager was incredibly kind, and I can’t help but feel for this poor woman and her clumsy act that made our (basically) free lunch possible. Well, monetarily it was free. I’m sure the emotional scars—and the laundry trauma—will be haunting Jessica for awhile.

They come. They eat. They leave.

2010-07-21T16:03:00.007-06:00

Jim: Question. What kind of bear is best?

Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.

Jim: False. Black bear.

Dwight: Well, that's debatable... There are basically two schools of thought--

Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

This week, I went camping with my family. By my calculations, I should still be there even. But the best laid plans...

I got up there yesterday afternoon to the normal dulcet sounds of dutch ovens clanking around and the tent needing to be set up. Outhouses, canoeing, fire...yep, I love it all, and I was set to enjoy it until Thursday afternoon.

This morning, however, the wildlife up Nebo Loop had a different idea. A bear, who was not afraid of campers, decided to come rear its head and charge some campers this morning. I guess it had been around the campsites for the past couple days, but when it started endangering people, the rangers decided to clear us all out and take care of it.

As we were cleaning up, my bro-in-law reminded me a of a good Jim Gaffigan skit having to do with bears (keep watching...the camping bit turns into a bears bit):

Luckily we made it out at the prescribed time of 1:00pm (by the skin of our chinny-chin chins!).

Too bad bears aren't this nice:

And here I was, thinking all along that all bears needed was some better toilet paper...

Don't call me...I'll call you!

2010-07-13T13:50:00.000-06:00

I have a beef to pick. And not the tasty kind with steak sauce.

A bit of an explanation, then back to the beef--it is what's for dinner, after all. I work at an IRB. That means Institutional Review Board. (What, that's not enough explanation for you?) Ok, here's what I do: I review medical research protocols and consent forms to make sure they fit the rules. And not just any medical research...the kind that's done on people. Who knew that a few bucks or the promise for some miracle drug could convince people to do crazy things to their bodies? Ultimately, our goal at the IRB is to make sure people are not harmed in the making of this film--wait, rewind. Ultimately our goal is to make sure people are fully informed of what is actually going to be taking place once they've signed up to play guinea pig. I am a 'coordinator,' which means that I put together one meeting a month (where research is reviewed and approved), and I act as the liaison between study teams (doctors and their lackeys) and the actual board reviewers (doctors).

So to recap: I review studies and push them through the process of getting approved at a board meeting. Thrilling, right? I feel a disclaimer is in order here: **DISCLAIMER** I like my job and the people I work with. It's like coming to spend the day with your friends and solving crazy problems together. And they pay me for it!

Lately we've been experiencing what we've been labeling an 'unusually large number of applications' being submitted. What this actually means is that we're being inundated with all sorts of crap--new studies, changes (aka amendments) to studies (which also have to be approved by a board), and renewals (each year studies have to go back to board to get re-approved). We've been vacillating between that complete drowning feeling and the sense of getting tiny breaths above water to tide you over until the next wave hits. You get thisclose to feeling caught up, and less than a week later you're back to feeling the weight of 50-some odd studies, each with their own delightful set of issues waiting to be unlocked as you review them, grueling one by grueling one.

So yes, we've been struggling. Kind of hardcore. To put it in a numbers perspective, we get about 40 - 50 studies discussed at our meeting each week. A couple months ago, I started out with over 100 items on a board meeting agenda before it was finalized down to about 44 items. All in all, this just means we never get to see that rapturous light at the end of the tunnel (wait, doesn't that phrase mean that you're dying?).

I'd like to compare it to an episode of I Love Lucy (you know the one)...

Boiled down, a hold-up at the IRB means bad news for everyone. Study teams get their panties in a twist, passive aggressive emails start flying, we here at the IRB get all up in arms doing everything we can to help aid the process.

Enter study team coordinators. Literally. Our office isn't very conducive to the drop-by visit. I share a very large room with three other IRB coordinators, and so we don't usually have those people involved in the actual research come by to discuss studies. Most of our correspondence is done via email, with minimal phone discussion to supplement. I guess recently with all of the hold-ups, though, study coordinators have decided to revolt. In the year plus that I've been working here, I haven't had anyone come back to my humble cubicle to protest how long things are taking...until now. In the past two weeks, I've had three of the most persistent (read: annoying) coordinators hunt me down and practically demand that their study take precedence over everything else I'm doing.

I have something to say to these people: STOP.

1) Having you watching over my shoulder as I pull up your study only makes me feel like a deer caught in the headlights. I don't handle confrontation well.

2) I probably haven't looked at your study in awhile, so it's going to take me a minute to reacquaint myself with it. You rambling on in my ear about your problems isn't helping your case at all.

3) I have at least 100 studies at a time that I'm juggling, all of them in different states. The fact that you think you can waltz in here and get something done on your study immediately undermines the rest of everyone else who's waiting in line. Hello lunch line butt-er? Not cool.

4) Thanks, you've just thrown off my work groove. (I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove...)

And as long as I'm putting it out there to the universe (and to any study coordinators who may have stumbled across my blog), I beg of you: stop 'tattling' on me to my boss. He's on my side. I've done everything I can to help your stupid study through, so how about you do a girl a favor and NOT throw me under the bus? Trust me, I don't want to hold onto your study. I really treasure the times I am able to send out approval letters and move things to the done pile. But if you can't be bothered to do your job correctly or pay me the common courtesy of discussing things civilly with ME, you should probably face some consequences. Like having your boss (the doctor doing the research) get called up for a 'special meeting' with my boss. (It's like the grown-up version of "My dad can beat up your dad.")

I keep hearing around here, "In a few months, it'll be better." And I know it will be; we're hiring new people and making other changes that will ease the IRB process. But in the interim, I might need to keep a stash of chocolate in my desk for the moments when I just need to unwind. Or a punching bag with someone's face on it...

4th of July (and the 3rd...and the 5th...)

2010-07-05T10:58:00.003-06:00

It's no secret: the 4th of July is my favorite holiday. There's no explanation really (and I don't feel like I should have to explain it), but I think I can sum it up by saying three things.

1) I love the color RED. And blue is a close second. (White just ties them together and makes them look good.)

2) I love summer.

3) My family can make (and eat!) a good meal like nobody's business.

Last year's holiday was a bit jaded by a few life obstacles--my grandpa's death, my little brother's departure for his mission, working through some personal problems, etc. I remember keeping tiny bits of sanity by holing up in my apartment and sewing my frenzied brains out, working on a red, white, and blue quilt. But when you stop on the way home from the Annual Waffles and Ice Cream (with the extended family) to pick up flowers for the arrangements at your grandfather's funeral, it's just not the same.

Long story short, I felt like I needed to make up for it this year by pulling out all the stops and celebrating the crap out of freedom and the 4th. And so, I did.

These cake balls were amazing in and of themselves, but Mike had the idea of putting sparklers in them. "Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it..." (Thank you, Craig, for the picture!)

Obviously, baking is how I really get into something like a holiday...my family helped with all of the decorating.

Things I have loved about this year:

* The holiday actually fell on a Sunday this year. And since Utah moves Sunday holidays to either the Saturday before or the Monday afterward, I got to go to the festivities in my hometown on Saturday and then get the Monday off of work to lounge around in my pajamas and finish my book. (On a somewhat related note--if you haven't read The Hunger Games yet, DO IT.)

* The weather couldn't have been better. It didn't get hotter than 85 degrees, and the cloud cover was perfect. I kept saying, "Could it be like this every year?" I don't ever remember it being that cool and beautiful for this normally blazing holiday. I realize that this is a stupid thing to be raving about, but who wants to stand outside for a parade when the temperature is pushing one hundred degrees and the sun is beating down on you? I will take Mother Nature's offering this year and bless it.

* Having an excuse to go nuts with the sugar (among other junk food). Cake balls on Friday night were the straw that broke the camel's back when it came to my sensible eating. Cupcakes and homemade root beer and taffy and burgers and barbeque pork... America knows what it's doing as far as us shoving our faces full of fatty and sugary goodness. Who says you can't buy happiness? It's as close as a good potato salad. Good thing this isn't my normal nutritional strategy, though. No wonder Michelle Obama's trying to fight the childhood obesity epidemic in the US...

Anyway, tomorrow it's back to the usual day-to-day, unfortunately. For now, I think I'm going to go take a nap and dream of sugar plums--wait, wrong holiday. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? Yikes.

Deja vu: BOO.

2010-06-30T23:13:00.004-06:00

Remember how one time I got a GPS for Christmas and all was right with the world? ...only to have it unceremoniously yanked from my car less than two months later? Remember how my family all pitched in and bought me a new one for my birthday a couple months after that (and there were tears of joy and gratitude)? And remember how someone broke into my garage last night, bashed in my friend's car window, used a skeleton key to get into MY Honda, and absconded with my precious Nuvi? Oh wait...you probably don't remember that last part. Yep, it happened.

Errands were on the docket this evening, so I headed out to the garage, only to get to my car and notice it was unlocked. "Strange," I thought. "I always lock my car now...especially since that last GPS-stealing incident." My next thought dealt with the disarray of the front seat, "Well, hey...I know I didn't rip everything out of my glove compartment and throw it across the car." Then: "WHERE'S MY GPS?!" That's right--it's gone the way of the black market. I hope whoever got it realizes that it's in dire need of a map update. Joke's on you, thief!

As it turns out, somebody broke into my apartment building's secure garage last night. They didn't go for the landlady's purse that was in her car...they didn't try to steal anything out of the beautiful black Mercedes Benz...they didn't even try to get the $700 worth of golf equipment out of the down-the-hall neighbor's vehicle. But don't worry. My car--the Honda Civic--took the brunt of the theft. Talk about a deja vu experience. COME. ON.

I feel thanks are in order, though. (Kind of like an awards show speech coming on...)

I would like to thank Monsieur Voleur for keeping all of my windows intact, at least.

Thanks for not stealing my tampons and other feminine hygiene supplies that I keep in the glove compartment. (But littering them across the front seat is kind of embarrassing...I mean, really...)

A big thanks to you for snatching my garage door opener and causing quite the ruckus in the building as the landlord had to scramble desperately to re-code the garage tonight and get everyone's openers to work with it.

Thank you for violating my privacy. I feel really safe and secure.

Thanks for causing me to cry the 'ugly cry' and get mascara all over my face.

I owe my busted up steering column to you, Thief Dude. I don't know if you were trying to hotwire my car or not, but seriously!? I don't even know where to begin on getting that sucker repaired. (For now, I really hope I don't have to make any fancy turns while driving, because it ain't happenin'...)

Moral of the story is this: no matter how cautious or OCD you are about keeping yourself away from trouble or danger, it'll probably find you. Somehow, somewhere, someday... I figure, hey, fool me once (and I was an idiot for letting it happen a year and a half ago in Provo), shame on me. Fool me twice, burglars...well, even if you don't fool me at all, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Mary, Mary...

2010-06-22T07:11:00.004-06:00

...how does your garden grow?

Pretty cupcakes all in a row!

Old lady tendencies

2010-06-15T06:56:00.002-06:00

In case you're new to reading my blog or you didn't know from having made my acquaintance for a few minutes, I am basically a 73-year-old woman in a 27-year-old's body. Don't believe me? Try these facts on for size:

* I wake up at 5:30 every morning and call waking up at 7:00 on the weekends "sleeping in."
* I pinch my niece's and nephews' cheeks (like a good aunt should!).
* I reminisce about the "good ol' days" when gasoline and milk were actually affordable.
* I watch Jeopardy religiously.
* I complain about how my knees creak.
* I find myself wishing I had a lawn so I could tell those young whippersnappers to stay off of it.

...and, last but not least--I have a deep-seated love for quilting. See below for evidence of said love. (This particular quilt will now belong to one youngest nephew of mine.)

Fat arm...little bone...

2010-06-03T16:18:00.005-06:00

I've never broken a bone before in my life. On Saturday, though, I got tripped over while I was taking a lovely nap on a blanket in the park (it's a long story...). The person landed smack on my left elbow. I guess the fault should be borne solely by me, seeing as I was the dunce who decided to take a snooze in the sun...that's what I get for initially thinking I was out of the way of human traffic (not to be confused with human trafficking...which is pretty bad).

After the incident, I decided to get out of the way of where people were walking. I stood up, but the pain that followed was so bad I wanted to upchuck. The rest of the weekend became an obstacle course of small feats for me: putting my sleeve in a shirt without bumping my elbow wrong, trying to drive without yanking my left arm too fast, carrying a laundry basket very gingerly as to not upset the fragile, possibly-broken limb of mine.

When the swelling hadn't gone down by Tuesday morning (and at the urging from friends...and especially family members...), I decided to have it checked out by a professional.

Two hours later, and after having a doctor AND a radiologist check out this x-ray just to be sure, the verdict was...I was fine. Not even a hairline fracture! I got sent home with an ace wrap and a few sympathetic pats from the doctor at the Instacare. The bruise that has since emerged is quite the array of colors, ranging from purple to green to yellow.

BUT...the non-bone-breaking streak is still on! I am incredibly grateful that I won't be spending a good portion of the summer wrapped up in a fiberglass cast. As you can see, I have strong bones. Or lots of chubby cushioning to protect them.

No, it's not a portmanteau of 'Grey' and 'Poupon'...

2010-05-27T17:14:00.005-06:00

Something to be added to my list of favorite things: Groupon!

In case you haven't heard about this yet...Groupon is a site that features some sort of awesome deal around town (SLC) each day that you can buy. The only catch is that a certain number of people have to buy it each day in order for the deal to be 'on.' There are all sorts of deals on restaurants, spa services, concerts, fitness classes, and more--something new every day!
They've done this in different big cities and had a lot of success. It's new here, so they're trying to get the word out!

The way they get these awesome deals from local vendors is this: they tell the company that they (Groupon) can promise a certain number of customers if the vendor offers a great deal (usually it's 50% off or more). If the threshold of customers buying it isn't reached, the company doesn't lose anything, and those interested in that particular offer don't have to spend a penny--no harm, no foul.

So thanks, Groupon...tomorrow night, I'm going to the Utah Symphony and sitting on the 6th row (two tickets for $20!). And maybe sometime soon, I'll cash in my Groupon for Kouing Aman pastries from Les Madeleines ($10 worth of food for $5!).

Dumptruck! AKA "How the river beat me up and took its revenge for me throwing a peanut butter M&M into it..."

2010-05-24T10:41:00.005-06:00

How does a lovely day on the river (there I am in the back of the boat!) turn into my oar being the only part of me you can see? Or, notice the lack of Annie? That's because I'm UNDER THE RAFT.

Moab was fabulous. Seriously. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend! Shout outs to the following people:

Melinda - Your house in Moab made it possible for windless sleep and afforded me much fatness from some of the world's best cinnamon rolls. Not to mention your laundry and shoe-cleaning service or your homemade granola bars! Yes, we were fast friends, indeed! (And not just because of the aforementioned amenities...because you're awesome and hilarious and kind of what I want to be when I grow up!)

Megan - Thank you for a) having a sister; b) helping pull me back into the raft; c) making me laugh some of the heartiest laughs to escape my mouth. I'm sorry things couldn't have turned out awesomer, but I think you're quite charming and fantastic. If a football ever comes our direction, I will shield you. P.S. Sorry my face terrified you as I was getting pulled back into the boat post-dumptruck!

Amber - I'm so so so glad we could comiserate about life. In so many ways. Your sense of humor slays me through and through, and you know just what to say in all situations. I will forever be indebted to you for telling me about mouse depression ("What are you going to do? Tell it its grandma died...?").

Andrea - "You're going to be fine, but you have a bloody nose." It's one of my favorite lines to tell people from the trip, and you said it! I'm glad you've got my back--especially in dirt clod wars...(how old are we?) I'm jealous of your mad throwing skills! Also, I promise not to make fun of your flirtatiousness...much. :)

Brother B. - The driver...you were a champion, seriously. (That's a lot of driving, to Moab and back!) And you even sometimes participated in the crazy rants of four girls, which was semi-surprising yet entirely enlightening. Also, thank you for just smiling and nodding through our giggling fits and putting up with our Arby's pitstop.

...and so many more! Mike for the awesome cobbler. Goblin Valley for the clumps of dirt and the puzzling rock formations (how did they form?!). Jes for the greatest, shortest Sacrament meeting talk in awhile. Annie and Ashley and Tyler and William for making the whole trip happen!

Prediction: correct.

2010-05-23T20:41:00.002-06:00

Remember how I said I would have to buy another pair of sunglasses before the summer was out (see the very end of the previous post...)? Yeah, try before the summer even truly begins. The Colorado River ate mine. And gave me a bloody nose.

At least I know I am kind of a prophetess now. (Or just practical in my reasoning...I am brutal to sunglasses.)

More pictures and stories from Moab coming soon!

Things I hate vs. Things I love: Edition...#89?

2010-05-20T14:55:00.012-06:00

I know I do this a lot...but sometimes I just need to vent about things that are bees in my bonnet (and now I have "Birdhouse in Your Soul" going through my head!). Don't worry, I'll follow this list up with just as many things that are going well or are just plain fantastic.

10 Things I hate:

1) Bumping studies from my agenda at work...and subsequently getting 18 angry phone calls and emails complaining about it. "Why isn't my study going to the meeting?!" "What's the hold-up over there at the IRB?" I can think of one thing I'd like to hold up in your direction...I'll try to refrain.

2) When the girl at the hospital cafeteria doesn't know that 'a little spicy mustard' actually means just a little. Glob it on there, new girl. Don't mind me as I try to wipe it off before each bite I take.

3) Getting caught in the rain and having sopping wet pants by the time I finally make it home.

4) Road construction--in all of its blessed forms.

5) Locking my keys in the house while I go jogging. At 7:15am on a Saturday morning. And the landlord isn't there. (Remember, I live alone...ugh...) The only other person with a key is my sister in PROVO. Saturday morning gone to waste.

6) Having the alarms go off at every store in the Fashion Place Mall. No, I'm not a thief. Just taking some DVDs back to a friend, and they were in my purse. What I did find out is that personnel at these stores won't bat an eye if you walk in and walk out like nothing is the matter.

7) Finding renters.

8) Car accidents, even with really nice people who are extremely apologetic.

9) Trying to get around a new operating system at work. Why can't Microsoft stick with the same colors in their Office products?!

10) Stepping on the scale each week...and not having it budge. Or worse yet, having it go up a pound. Less chocolate...more jogging (see #5 above).

...and then I realize that *actual* horrible things happen to good people. Like medical conditions that don't have a diagnosis (you know something's up when your brother-in-law calls twice). Or refugees from Afghanistan (just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns--excellent book!).

10 Things I Love:

1) Seeing random photos of my newest nephew pop up on Facebook via my sister and bro-in-law. I could look at those pictures for hours.

2) Neil Patrick Harris guest-starring on Glee this week. (In case you're wondering, yes, I had a Doogie fettish as a young child...)

**Bonus: the I Dreamed A Dream song on this week's episode was also fantastic. (And kind of a tear-jerker for me!)

3) Finding blackberries on sale. And a bunch of other excellent fruit. I love summer for the produce you can find!

4) Getting an adorable text from my oldest nephew, an invitation to his elementary school's 'Spring Sing.' I couldn't go, but it was still so cute that he extended the invite.

5) Puzzles! We put together a tractor puzzle at work, and it made me want to do one on my own. I pulled one out of the recesses of my closet and blew the dust off...

...of this 1000 piece baby. It's insanely difficult. I see puzzle pieces when I lay down to go to sleep at night. But I will finish it. Someday. When I need my dining room table again.

6) Bouncing on my exercise ball. I could sit on that thing even after a bad day, and it puts a smile on my face to be bouncing there. Like I’m four again or something…

7) Receiving emails from my little brother. I know I gush about him all the time...but I think he's turning into quite the amazing guy. This week I got to help him do a little Facebook stalking to find out where some of his friends were going on their missions. I love being there, doing little computer favors that he needs while he's at the computer for half an hour each week.

8) Finally getting my temple recommend signed! It only took me four weeks to track down the Stake Presidency to get that sucker current again.

9) Buying new sunglasses. The old ones were getting kind of sad, what with their super-glued frames that went skeewompus every time I pulled them out of my purse. I don't know why it took me so long to plunk down my $5 for a new pair. Don't worry, I'll probably be buying another pair before the summer is gone.

10) Going to Moab this weekend! I’ve lived in Utah for how long? And I’ve never been. Pray that I don’t drown in the river or anything crazy like that. I’m excited for the good times that are bound to be had.

Ireland (finally!)

2010-05-19T09:05:00.002-06:00

It's a...

2010-05-08T11:48:00.006-06:00

When I found out there was possibly something wrong with me, I ate an entire sleeve of Thin Mints (side note: those Girl Scouts sure know how to make some mighty fine cookies!) Then I cried. And my mind fast forwarded to all of the worst case scenarios...naturally.

At the beginning of April, I went to the doctor for a physical, nothing fancy or odd happening (except for those close-calls during times I knelt for too long and almost fainted...that's a different story...). He listened to my heart, looked in my ears, made me watch his finger swipe side to side, and all was well.

Then he felt the glands in my neck. "Swallow," he said. "Hmm...do it again." He kept repeating this again and again until we completed the process about six times. Then he walked to his notepad and wrote me a radiology request form. "Take this down to the first floor and schedule an appointment for an ultrasound. There's some sort of nodule, it feels like, on your thyroid, and I just want to have a better look."

Oh.

A 'nodule.'

What does that even mean?!

The doctor proceeded to calmly tell me that these sorts of cysts happen all the time, and that they're usually benign, but that sometimes they're actually tumors. Yikes! All sorts of horrible words floating out there (nodule? cyst? tumor?), and me trying desperately to remain calm while he's explaining things. He counseled me not to worry yet. Ok, thanks doc. I'll just hum and skip on my merry way while a tumor could be taking over my thyroid (I tend toward the dramatic in situations like these...).

I went down to radiology where they got me straight in. Gown, gel, ultrasound. Bam, all of this was so weird and so fast. And then it was all over. "We'll have your doctor look at these scans, and he'll get back to you."

Two. Weeks. Later.

(In his defense, I was in Ireland for one of those weeks. Worry isn't as prominent in your mind when you're on vacation, I guess.)

I called the clinic and asked if the doctor had reviewed the scans and what the results were. The receptionist said that his nurse was busy with another patient, but that she'd have the nurse call me. Waiting...hoping it's nothing...trying to focus on work...

And then a call: "Hi, this is Dr. ________. I understand you're looking for your results from your bloodwork and your scans? Well, I'd like you to come in for some more testing, probably a biopsy because one of the nodules on your thyroid looks abnormal." Doctor-speak. Gotta love it. 'Abnormal' means scary and weird. And you know when the actual doctor calls that something fishy is up.

When I got home from work that day, I broke down emotionally. What happens if I have to undergo cancer treatment? Who will take care of me? What will that mean for my work situation, my living situation? What if I can't afford it?

It's amazing how everything in life gets put on hold for two weeks until you find out if your fears will be realized. More waiting. More waiting rooms. Family praying for you. Close friends sharing your worry. Preparing for the worst. Hoping for the best. Trying to be patient, not letting your mind wander to what could happen if the world gets kicked out from underneath you. Joking around during the biopsy so you don't freak out about the five needles they'll be jiggling around in your neck. HAVING A NECK THING. Knowing you have absolutely no control as to how this situation will ultimately play out.

Waking up wondering if today's going to be the day you might find out you have cancer.

Feeling so alone.

And then looking around, realizing that it could be a lot worse. Those were the times I felt most at peace, that really, I wouldn't have to worry about being so debilitated. That life would go on and everything would turn out fine. That I needed to stop being a drama queen and be grateful for everything I did have and the people who loved me.

This last Tuesday, I figured I might hear from the clinic. I kept my phone by my desk at work and nervously kept checking it, just in case I didn't hear its persistent buzz. Lacy and I had just clocked out to go to lunch, and my phone started vibrating in my purse. "IHC Clinic," I said. Shakily, I opened the phone and rushed down the hall and outside, so I wouldn't have to cry in front of my co-workers.

The nurse on the other end of the line was very kind when she told me I had what was called a 'thyroid goiter' (again with the gross words?!), and that they would just follow-up with it from time to time. I asked what that entailed. "Just a blood test once a year."

A blood test? Bring out the needles--I'm ready.

I was so relieved that there wasn't anything wrong. It was almost an audible mechanical whir back to life as I slowly began realizing that I didn't have to face the prospect of surgery. Or taking pills for the rest of my life. I wouldn't have to worry about taking days on end off of work. I wouldn't feel like a burden to my family or friends who would have surely stepped up and helped me through.

And so, as some of my family and best friends get ultrasounds of their growing babies, I give to you--my thyroid:

It's a goiter!

Nothing...and everything...

2010-04-29T22:21:00.003-06:00

I haven't written on this blog in awhile. I could give excuses, but I'll just write this short snippet and give you the quick and dirty details of what happens in this little life of mine.

Last week, I was eating on my couch in front of the television. And I almost started choking. The thought ran through my head, "No one would find me for weeks if I keeled over here all by myself." (Cue Celine Dion song.) So, two hilarious videos that take the solemn edge off this crazy thought process of mine...

Lacy sent this gem along:

Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals

And I found this one after watching a Sarah Palin spoof Lacy emailed me. (Why yes, we DO get a lot done at work!)

As far as actual things that have happened to me since I last blogged...

* Getting hugged at the TRAX station on my way to work...by a creepy old man that might have also been a drug dealer. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and just go with 'creepy' here. Note to anyone at a train station: do not hug strangers. Ok, you don't even necessarily have to be at a train station...maybe just a good general rule?

* Survival of the Crazy Accreditation Workweek of March--a name which shall now live on in infamy...either that or the "Site Visit That Must Not Be Named." Also during said week, I did some freelance editing for my old company for a little extra change (whoa...no pun intended, but 'change' could go both ways).

* Traveling to the Emerald Isle...IRELAND! Pictures forthcoming. To be honest, I did not take any pictures there. I have a total of 5 (yes, five) pictures from the country on my camera. Luckily my friends took a ton of photos (for which I teased them mercilessly...oops...), so I'll post those soon.

* My birthday. One year older and wiser, too (cough cough). But any birthday spent in the aforementioned country has gotta be good. :) And it was.

* Had a car breakdown. Ugh. $300 for a new muffler/exhaust system. Moving past it. Could have been a LOT worse, so I'll just be grateful for a working vehicle. My poor car is getting old, and I think it's going to start dying more often from here on out. Drive 'er 'til she's dead, huh?

Notes from today...

2010-03-16T21:21:00.008-06:00

I'm winding down a VERY busy day and trying to get my brain to slow down...please excuse the drivel that follows here.

Today I received my birthday present to me (I'm so happy!) in the form of shiny, red, new luggage. Mmmmm.... I figure it's about time, at the soon-to-be-age of 27, for me to pony up and get some of my own. The price was awesome...I have a trip coming up...it made sense. SO, fresh off the UPS truck and out of the box, I'm reveling in the 'new' smell.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Part of me wonders how long I can feel like I'm drowning at work. It's gotten to the doldrums point where I've been stuck in the workload mire for awhile and there really doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Today consisted of hustled meeting after tangled review after rushed problem after harried phone call after frantic email. I got home and basically crashed. Tonight's treat was a walk around the neighborhood while listening to Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me! NPR is one of my nerdy pleasures. I want Carl Kasell's voice on my home answering machine.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'm watching Parenthood (a new NBC show), and one of the main characters broke up with up her quasi-boyfriend. Besides the fact that it was a painfully awkward moment, Lauren Graham used the phrase, "You're nice..." The guy responded, "Nice...? Oh wow..." Aha! Spot on! It's always been my philosophy that if the only term you can use to describe a man is "nice," he's probably a boring person with a flat personality. But he's...*nice*. Does this same reasoning work for how guys think about girls as well? I guess nice guys really do finish last...

Dear World...

2010-03-01T22:40:00.004-07:00

Dear UTA...please figure out a better way to get the trains to run on schedule. In my eight-minute walk to the station, I can't make up three minutes of time, even by jogging. So really, help a planner girl out and come when you say you will.

Dear Monday...I'm so glad you're over. We can be friends again when you're Memorial Day, mmkay?

Dear Body...please stop wigging out with migraines and strange stomach pain. I really do love taking time off work, but I'd rather be on vacation instead of crashing on the couch because I can't see straight.

Dear Dodgeball...I'm glad I didn't play you this evening, but it was sure fun to watch all the 20-something guys get so into a game meant for third-graders. My brilliant idea was to have people in the ward who have dated each other play on opposing teams. Talk about catharsis! Nobody else got on board with that, though. Oh well. I count my blessings that I avoided getting pegged in the face with a red bouncy ball.

Dear Men In General...I'm not scary. Or ugly. Or emotionally unsound. Really, I have a sparkling personality and a charming demeanor. And while this might seem a tad desperate, maybe--if you're not a creepster--you could consider me as a viable dating option. No, I don't want to have your children or back you into a relationship corner. But honestly, one date...too much to ask? Maybe. SIGH.

Dear Bed...your gentle caress takes a captivating hold on my body--until the sandman can't find me (e.g., last night). Which reminds me...Dear Diet Coke...I curse the fact I drank you.

Dear Weather...what a tease you are, with your warmer temperatures and basking-worthy splays of sunshine this afternoon! For the future, please keep the snow flurries to a minimum (it's March now, for crying in the mud!) and we'll get along just fine.

Dear Television...I'm glad the Olympics are over (Readers: keep your hate comments to yourself, thank you very much!) and that I got to watch Chuck tonight. "Cupcakes...of course I love cupcakes! Who doesn't love cupcakes?!"

Watch out!

2010-02-25T07:27:00.003-07:00

Found on FAIL Blog:

This morning--indeed, they are...

Sisters (Fair warning: cheesy post!)

2010-02-23T08:41:00.007-07:00

Last week, a few of my friends posted links to this blog post on Facebook and their blogs. (Just in case you didn't click on that link, the post is about sisters growing up and becoming friends, even though they experienced the pains of childhood and being teenagers together.) I could completely relate to sharing rooms, sharing secrets, and sharing pain and tears. I emailed the link to my five sisters with the subject line, "I cried reading this..." I got a couple responses back, agreeing that the article made them cry or made them homesick.

My sisters are awesome. Yeah, we've definitely had our scrapes, but ultimately, I know that we are always there for each other. Yesterday, my sister texted me this: "I miss you. :(" Less than two hours later, I was at her house (and using her for her washer and dryer). We just chatted for a bit, and I was sent home with some chocolate and some pie. Seriously, that's usually how it goes when spending time with any of them...you go there hoping to have something to offer--time, a shoulder for crying, whatever--and you end up feeling like you're the one who got the better end of the deal.

It's not all sunshine and flowers, though. Sometimes a sister is the only one who can tell you how it really is. There has been more than one occasion when someone calls me on crap. Or sometimes we get really angry about ridiculous things, and someone ends up excusing themselves to go cry or be mad. You can bet, though, that someone is usually close on her heels as a sounding board.

My sisters do things like painting each other's toenails or dyeing one another's hair. Like visiting one another in the hospital or going to each other's concerts. Like forcing you to go to the all-you-can-eat ice cream and the demolition derby at the state fair the day after you have your heart broken, just so you'll get out of the house. Like taking you to Egypt. Like changing your oil, even though it's a huge pain to get to the oil filter. Like painting your new condo for days upon days. Like pulling pig nose faces at passing cars on the freeway.

Thinking about my sisters also made me remember this song from White Christmas. Enjoy.

Quarters make the world go 'round...

2010-02-21T09:52:00.007-07:00

One thing about living the 'urban' lifestyle is that I no longer have my own washer and dryer. There is a laundry room in my apartment building, coin-operated. The problem is that I never have quarters. Who knew they were so difficult to come by?

On my daily walk home from work, I pass a laundromat. I used to pop in there, get a few dollars worth of quarters, and be on my merry way. A few months ago, the owner was by the change machines and stopped me. "Are you a customer? Do you have laundry to do here?" I responded, "Nope, I just need a handful of quarters." He then informed me that the change machines were for customers only. Great. The quarter-well had run dry.

Also, grocery stores are guarding their quarters like they're gold. I ask for a part of my change in quarters, and the cashier starts blathering on about how they can't do it and how there's an ATM right there. Well, I'm glad they've shown me the ATM...will it spit out 22 quarters for my two loads of laundry? Didn't think so.

So last night, as I was trying to figure out a way to get rid of all the dirty laundry piling up around my bedroom, I had a genius idea. Car. Wash. Quarters abound!

Touche, Blog Stalker. Touche.

2010-02-16T22:12:00.002-07:00

You found another way to get to my blog. Yes, if you Google the words wikipedia amphibolical, my blog is there at the tip-top of the list. Blog Stalker, you figured out a way to me again. I don't know if you're the same person as before, and I appreciate the attention, but four times visiting my blog in one day? Wow...I know my writing is good, but I didn't think it was THAT good. Plus, the post that comes up when you search with those terms is kinda lame; it's about my Cats experience when the show came to SLC a year and a half ago. Challenge: find another way to my blog. Better yet--BOOKMARK. Just sayin'...it's kind of awesome.

How many roads must a man walk down...?

2010-02-14T17:33:00.007-07:00

This weekend, I'm in Vegas. That's right, VEGAS, baby!! And it's gotten me thinking about how insane this city is. So, I wonder how many...

...gallons of alcohol are being consumed at any given second. Found in every shape and size and color and mixture, liquor makes the city go 'round. Ahhh, social lubricant, indeed.

...awesome restaurants there are to try. Basically, you just have to pick something by where you are when hunger hits. So far, I've been impressed. I mean, we're not frequenting the ritzy places, but Vegas knows its food.

...frat boys are out trying to pick up girls on the street. We had some guys who wanted us to "high five" them last night. No thanks, I'll keep my hands to myself, thank you.

...sequins are strutting down the street in the form of 'clothing.' Girls, being sparkly doesn't necessarily make you more attractive. Unless guys have the "ooooh, shiny!" complex, of course.

...lawyers are available for hire. Or for that matter, all of the bail bonds out there, waiting for the idiots to be thrown in jail...

...advertisements for strippers are littered on the sidewalk. You want to look at the sidewalk as you're walking because you really wouldn't like to step in some unidentified substance (yikes!), but your eyes will need to be sanitized with alcohol and fire in order for you to not feel so dirty.

...stairs/escalators there are for me to scale. I appreciate the safe street-crossings, but I could be halfway to the top of Mt. Everest by now at this pace.

...towels the hotel will bring to our room. I love having a myriad of towels at my disposal, and they're everywhere I turn.

...horrible dinner shows are being advertised out there, waiting for unsuspecting participants. Thunder From Down Under? Louie Anderson? Defending the Caveman? Yeah, these are just the ones at our hotel. (Although, the Tournament of Kings was freaking fantastic last night...)

...stores there are for me to peruse. H&M and Zara and Banana Republic, oh my! I've been a good girl so far, but when you find a pair of BR pants for 70% off and they fit well, you go for it.

...nightclubs they want me to get into for free. If this were the case, how would the clubs be making their money? Uh...I don't drink. I don't dance (well, can't should be the operative term here...). I don't flirt with strange men. Yeah, you don't want me in your club, but I appreciate the offer.

The impossible dream...

2010-02-11T13:43:00.003-07:00

On Tuesday, I went over to Natalie and Mike's house to take them dinner and see the new baby some more. They named him Jared, and after holding him for awhile, I deduced that he's a strong little kid--he almost wiggled off of my lap a couple times.

Here he is in all his baby glory:

(Mike caught this hilarious shot while I was there)

My task was to keep him awake for an hour so he would sleep through the night. This shouldn't have been too hard, huh? Yeah, you try keeping a newborn awake for that long. How are you supposed to distract them? The pig puppet that oinks songs worked for a couple minutes. Poking him kind of helped--but I had to poke cautiously, considering his belly was full from just eating. I tickled him; he squirmed. But his eyes kept closing, ever-so-slowly. I got one thing to work: moving his arms around like he was Tevia from Fiddler On the Roof and singing "If I Were A Rich Man."

After one hour: awake baby.

Endangered species

2010-02-11T13:40:00.001-07:00

Oh, this is what's happened...

Things that make it worth it

2010-02-08T08:49:00.002-07:00

There are some days when I just want to pull out my hair and scream at the top of my lungs, "GET ME OFF THIS RIDE!" Obviously I never really give into this urge--given the fact that I still have lots of hair (ask my hair stylist...she's swimming in hair by the time she's done with me.) But then, there are the tiny little things that make all the stress and pain and weariness melt away and seem like not a big deal at all. This isn't to say that I've been especially overwhelmed lately or anything... I'm just saying that sometimes it's great to revel in the small joys that make the everyday crap seem much easier to deal with. Like...

...getting to work on a Monday morning to discover a gift of cashews (my favorite!) and a thank you note from a study team I helped a couple weeks ago--hours on the phone, a visit to their office, and countless emails of explanation. But their study did not expire. And I feel good about that.

...letting my niece brush my hair into a 'new style' on Friday night. All of my hair was forward in front of my eyes. When she pushed the curtain of hair aside slowly and saw me looking at her, she piped up and said, "Hello!"

...walking down the hall and seeing a guy with the size sticker still stuck on the back of his new jeans...and then, after he had turned into a room, saying to Lacy in that covert, hush-hush voice, "Please tell me you just saw that." Her: "Of course I did." It's great just knowing that we can spot the same motley characters we see around work.

...having the lady sitting behind me at the play put her hand on my shoulder and say to me, "Whoever put the streaks in your hair did a really good job!" 'Streaks' isn't exactly the word I'd use...but I appreciated the sentiment. She kept saying, "No really, it looks SO nice!"

...receiving my rewards statement from Famous Footwear in the mail. Included in the envelope was a $20 gift card toward a purchase--no strings attached!

Never mind that taxes are still on the horizon and my laundry is a never-ending nightmare (currently living out of the baskets of clean laundry, thank you very much!)...it really is these little occurrences that make me smile and realize that I don't need everything to be perfect right here, right now.

Cutting it close

2010-02-02T22:30:00.003-07:00

In two months, I leave for Ireland. Having never been to the British Isles, I'm kind of excited about this venture. I got thinking the other day, "Huh...when does my passport expire?" I got it when I was a junior in high school, so I knew it was coming up quickly for renewal. (Ugh...has it been that long?)

Tonight, I was watching Chuck, and they talked about Chuck traveling to Paris. It jogged my memory about checking my passport expiration date. So, I hit pause and went and found it.

I'm happy to report that I will not have to renew it for my upcoming trip. BUT, I get home from Ireland on April 11th. My passport expires on April 23rd.

Phew.

Mamma Mia!

2010-01-29T19:17:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I think about how surreal moments in life can be. Example: the text I got this evening from my younger sister, Natalie, saying "I'm going to the hospital." Yes, I've known for the last seven months that she was going to be having a kid. But for some reason, it started to hit me: WHOA. My little sister is having a baby.

Keep in mind, this is the same girl who:

...we caught on video snitching the Thanksgiving pie before dinner when she was about 5 years old. And to cover up her transgression, she flitted about and did a little dance, pretending like everything was per usual.

...jumps at every opportunity to write the word "poo" or "poop" or some other synonym for fecal matter in any forum possible. My car windows really got it one night when it was cold and the defrost was taking awhile to warm up.

...put pink streaks in her hair when she saw that they did it on Gilmore Girls.

...took forever getting ready in the mornings in high school, causing me to yell "IT'S TIME TO LEAVE...NOW!!!" basically every morning.

...can talk her way out of any ticket a police officer may think about giving her.

And now? She's going to be a mom in a matter of hours. And I think she'll do a great job. Whenever she puts her mind to something, she rocks at it.

For instance:

...when she didn't make drumline in high school, she tried out for the colorguard and did that instead. And she was awesome. When the band marched in the Rose Bowl parade, she was the only one in the group who got a close-up on television.

...after working at Best Buy for awhile, she wanted to be on the Geek Squad. She listened and learned and made friends with those who could make this possible. (I think it's kind of awesome that this is ultimately how she found her husband!)

...she wanted to get her culinary arts certification, so she took the classes, (even made friends with the insufferable boys in the class!) and got that certificate. And now she teaches classes all over the place.

She's in labor right now. I do not envy the pain she will endure. I do not envy the nights of sleep she will be losing from this point henceforth. But I know she'll be a great mom.

Dirty dancing

2010-01-29T12:51:00.002-07:00

Last night, I walked into Cafe Rio and got in the long line for my pork salad (my little stamp card got me a free meal!). I wasn't even in line before a small, middle-aged lady with graying hair pointed at my feet, looked at me and said, "I love your shoes!" I told her thanks and figured that would be it. She continued, "Where did you get them." My response: "Payless...can you believe that?" Again, I thought it was the end of discussion.

Her further question: "Do you think they'd stay on when you're dancing?" I was kind of taken aback..."Uh...I'm not sure? I mean, I walk around in them, and they're good. Maybe if you don't get too crazy when you dance..." Her final reply: "Oh, I get pretty crazy...it's like diiirty dancing." I laughed at the awkward turn in the conversation, and mercifully, the line moved so we were no longer in such close proximity.

Thank you, Mysterious Stranger, for validating my taste in shoes and then turning around and making me somewhat squeamish at the thought of your 'dirty' dancing.

Jumbled

2010-01-27T17:26:00.003-07:00

On the way to work this morning, the train passed an accident on the other side of the tracks. An SUV had tried to turn left in front of the train and, unfortunately, lost. That thing was smashed. I felt physically ill just looking at the scene. People, when it comes to trains and cars, train beats car every time--it's like rock, paper, scissors...

I went to the Sundance Film Festival for the first time ever last night. I saw a film called It's a Wonderful Afterlife. A funny film, definitely (a review will probably go up on my other blog soon). The director warned us that it was "weird," but that if we just went with it, we would enjoy it. She was right. Afterward, we even got to 'meet' Sendhil Ramamurthy, the main squeeze in the film. (I tried taking a picture, but felt somewhat foolish...the one I got was zoomed in way too far, so it's distorted.)

My car has a burned out headlight. That Wallflowers song has been in my head off and on since this discovery. I can only imagine that I'm bringing glee to young children playing the 'Perdittle' game on the freeway.

I have officially been Facebook-less for three weeks. Woo!

And I've lost 5ish lb. for Biggest Loser. Booyah.

Questions, complaints, concerns...

2010-01-24T16:09:00.002-07:00

I turned on White Collar today to enjoy my Matt Bomer fix. This episode included a Wall Street scam the FBI is trying to crack. So who's the guy they've chosen to play the handsome, young, corrupt, broker-type fella? Jonathan Tucker--a.k.a. Tommy Donnelly. Question: Shouldn't the fact that he's playing a two-faced, crooked, filthy rich investor make me feel disgusted and repulsed? Quite the opposite. Jonathan, it's inexplicable, but I kind of want you...

I was driving home from seeing my sister, Rachel, in Provo this afternoon. Utah freeways have always been somewhat the bane of my existence, but there are some things other drivers do that I just cannot grasp. Complaint: Even when I'm going 75 in the middle lane, passing cars in the right lane, completely empty lane to the left, cars zoom up right behind me, thisclose to my bumper, trying to edge me over. It really can't be that difficult for them to switch lanes and pass me in the passing lane...and yet it happens over and over. There really is no answer to drivers in this state. And the worst part: I bet sometimes I'm one of them.

Lots of things seem to be stressing me out lately. Concerns:
1) As it turns out, finding someone to live in one of the bedrooms in my Provo condo is proving quite difficult.
2) I'm horribly behind at work, and there's nothing I can do about it but keep plugging away at it, slowly but surely.
3) Natalie is due to have her baby any day. Prayers and fingers crossed that things go well.

Facebook update: I haven't logged onto Facebook in 18 days.
Biggest Loser update: Some of my extended family is doing its own version of Biggest Loser. The pot is upwards of $200. End date is June 30th. I plan to post a weekly (give or take a few days) update of my progress. As it is with all posting on my blog, this is mostly just so I have a forum to keep myself in check. And so (drumroll, please!) I have lost 2 lb. since inception--11 days ago.

A few of my favorite things

2010-01-14T10:30:00.002-07:00

Julie Andrews sang about them...and Oprah has entire show dedicated to them every year: favorite things! Here are some things I've come across lately (or rediscovered) that I love.

1) Scrabble cupcake (found here amongst a lot of other nerd-worthy cupcakes...)

How can you not love cupcakes with cute, miniature versions of things you already love on them? As is evidenced by my last birthday cake, I'm a Scrabble lover.

2) Express cardigan

I found this gem last Saturday during my quest for a simple black cardigan. WIN. And pretty cheap, too. Usually $49.50, now $19.50. And I had a 15% coupon to boot. Clothes are always better when you get them on sale.

3) Librivox

I'd heard about this from a co-worker a couple years ago, but in a recent conversation with a friend, this little gem came up. I'm currently listening to Jane Eyre on my way to and from work. I gotta say--this is a fantastic way to catch up on classics.

4) Jamba Juice

At my old job, we'd have "Jamba Juice Fridays," so I got to try tons of different flavors. My favorite is Strawberry Surf Rider with raspberries. If I'm feeling the need to be good (as far as caloric intake goes), I go for one of the all-fruit flavors, Mega Mango with raspberries. Fruuuit...mmmmm....

5) How I Met Your Mother - 100th Episode - Barney's "Suit Song"

This was aired on Monday night. Barney Stinson (played by the awesome actor, Neil Patrick Harris--Doogie Howser, in case you've been living under a rock), huge womanizer that he is, is trying to choose between a woman and his suits. His musical response made me clap with glee and rewind for a second helping.

6) Around-the-back earmuffs

I got a pair of these babies for Christmas from my sister, Sarah. I can now do the following: a) listen to my iPod; b) keep my hair kempt; c) arrive at work with unfrozen ears. If you ask me, that's kind of a fabulous combo.

7) 500 Days of Summer

I am the guy in this movie. I know that's a weird comparison, but I could feel his heart-wrenching pain as I watched every scene. The first time watching this movie is difficult and sickening. The second time made me want to buy a copy of the DVD. I can't explain this phenomenon--all I know is that if you haven't seen it, you should. Guys, this means you, too.

8) Conjunction Junction

...and Schoolhouse Rock in general. I had my music on shuffle, and this beaut came up...English language usage AND a catchy tune? Sold.

Popcorn chicken

2010-01-08T16:30:00.003-07:00

Received today--random shirt woot:

Get it? I love it.

Stepping back

2010-01-06T22:44:00.003-07:00

I guess you could call this my 'resolutions' post. Yes, I've fallen prey to being another lemming, jumping into the New Year's pond of making goals that I will probably forget after a month or so. But I've come up with a method--I'd like to call it 'failproof'...we'll see. I've decided to write down a list of things I'd like to accomplish this year; then, I'll portion some out to each month. The list is a slightly complex... There are fun things to do or explore. Other list items are less exciting but will be beneficial to my health and/or well-being. Each month will be a little step closer to becoming a better me or getting crap I've always wanted to DONE.

I've already started something pretty cool as part of this list (which I'll probably put up bit by bit as it evolves each month). Take a look at my new blog on the side...

Another thought I've had: this year, I'm stepping back. Back from old habits. Back from stupid drama. Back from being in the spotlight. Here are the things I plan to do to achieve this:

1) I'm taking a Facebook break. I know, I know...you're thinking, "WHAT?! How will she live without checking the daily newsfeed and the gossip and the pictures and the posts?" I gotta do it. I thought to myself, "Self...could you live without Facebook for a month without going through withdrawals?" And I found myself getting anxietous (ha!) about the thought. Challenge? YES. Accepted. Here goes. I've turned off notifications and removed my bookmark to the site. Sorry if I don't respond to you. See you on February 6th, Facebook.

2) I would actually like to ask more questions about other people's lives. I've come to the bitter realization that I am slightly self-centered (uh, have you read my blog?). So I'm going to ask people questions about their lives and then listen. I'd also like to give compliments more freely. Look out, world! A more attentive Annie is on the rise.

3) And here's to a new resolve to keep pushing the envelope. Habits happen because we keep doing the same things over and over. So why am I surprised that I waste hours upon hours watching television and surfing the net? I've made these habits for myself. I'm trying to be less averse to changing, so I'm stepping outside my little box. From here on out I refuse to idly shop for things I will not ever buy (even though I stock my 'carts' on several websites time and again). I demand of myself that I will not turn on re-runs of sitcoms just to whittle the time away.

Several of my new goals are centered around learning new things or rediscovering the art of something I love. If nothing else, I'll be more in tune with a more peaceful, serene Annie.

Best of luck to you in your resolutions, too!

Christmas musings

2009-12-27T05:34:00.002-07:00

I should be writing my talk for church. My body woke me up at 4:47 this morning, reminding me that I had something important to do. Right now I'm having spiritual overload, so I thought I'd blow off some writing steam by coming here and letting you take a sneak peek at my Christmas experiences/thoughts.

This year at my house (well, technically my parents' house), Christmas wasn't anything huge or special or fancy. It's so cute to see everyone working on little projects for everyone else, scrambling to get them done behind closed doors without anyone suspecting what they're doing. Covert texts and whispered conversations. Signs on bedrooms that read "STAY OUT!" or something similar. Trying to finish quilts at breakneck speed while someone's at work so she won't have a clue what she'll be opening on Christmas morning.

This year was kind of strange...I'm so used to having my little brother around to: a) be the goof-off during our live nativity re-enactment; b) eat most of the sweets the neighbors bring and that adorn the big counter in the kitchen; and c) insist that we wake up at freaking 6:00am to head downstairs and see what Santa has brought. And he was there for none of it. Since he's a missionary, we get two phone calls a year from him--one on Christmas, the other on Mother's Day. This was our first phone call from him. We got to talk to him for about an hour and a half...and as each minute ticked by, I found myself missing him a little more. Best part: he started quoting Johnny Lingo, and it was spot on. We were laughing so hard. He told us about his spiritual experiences and getting to baptize someone in the rainforest. He explained the food and the living situation. He told us about his shoes and how they were completely worn out from all the walking he does. He kept asking about boys in our lives (my sisters and mine). We put him on the speaker phone in the living room and just sat gathered around it. He sounded so good. He hits six months next week; I guess you get to burn a tie at six months, and he has already chosen his sacrificial offering.

We also got to talk with my sister who's living in Uzbekistan. She told us about the trampoline their family got, and how it showed up in the yard, but none of her boys noticed it for awhile. We got to hear about how their living situation has been these last six weeks, as she hasn't been able to really contact us in the meantime. She hasn't had Internet for six weeks...I can't even imagine. They've already made friends there (she's really good at just digging in and finding people to befriend), and she's been to parties and had parties. True Snow--always doing the party thing. They had a great Christmas over there.

As some of you know, I was a quilting fiend this Christmas. A little less than three weeks ago, I decided to make two quilts, one for my sister and one for Lacy. It was easy to keep the secret, because when I was around Paulie, I could talk about Lacy's quilt and vice versa. Neither knew they were getting one as well. And after many hours of cutting, sewing, quilting, clipping, being frustrated at stupid thread, breaking needles, and then finally finishing the last seams, I had two beautiful quilts, ready to be wrapped and given away. Both receivers had perfect reactions. I love surprising people with something I've worked on like that. I had a friend visit me while I was amidst all the fabric and chaos. I told him that he was walking in on "Quilt City," and he said he didn't care, that he was the mayor of Quilt City. Ha! Well, Quilt City has temporarily shut down until I make a baby quilt for Natalie's baby.

Santa Claus brought me two things I've been wanting: a guitar and a printer. Remember how I said I wanted to actually learn to play the guitar? Now I can! And I've been needing a printer for heaven-knows-how-long, so this is a welcome addition. Man, Santa is great.

One of the cutest things about Christmas was my 7-year-old nephew. He gets so excited about things, and it's great to have that childlike wonder around at Christmas. On Christmas morning, he wanted to give all of us aunts and grandparents a gift that he had bought with his own money. My sister and bro-in-law give him a little change every time he keeps his c-pap (a medical device) on all through the night. He saved bit by bit and purchased each of us a cute little gift from Bath & Body Works. You should have seen his face when he handed each of us our gift bags. Sarah said he wanted us to open them individually so he could see the looks on our faces. What a sacrifice it was for him to spend his meager allowance on something for each of us when he could have just as well kept the money for something for himself. True spirit of Christmas, right there in action.

All in all, I've enjoyed the season. I've gotten to spend time with my family (and we haven't had any fights!), rock out to Christmas tunes, and really think about the spirit of giving. This year, I'm so grateful for my Savior and all He's done for me--I couldn't have made it through these past twelve crazy months without Him or His sacrifice. As we were performing the nativity this year and my niece kept stealing the Baby Jesus, I was touched with a feeling of gratitude for that baby who grew up and atoned for us, for ME. I love those sweet, tender moments where I can feel God's love so strongly, and this Christmas has been full of those.

If I had more...

2009-12-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

I've been waxing reflective lately, pondering about what I would do *if only*. In some cases, it's embarrassing, but I'd like to think that I'd do things differently--be a better person, help the world...that kind of thing. And so...

If I had lots more time... I'd do so many more things. I would learn languages. I would read more books and reflect on them. I would sleep. I would send thank you notes. I would decorate my apartment in coordinating fabrics and decor. I would actually learn how to play the guitar instead of just dallying in it for a few months. I wouldn't feel bad about taking long, moonlit walks or sitting in a bubble bath. What can you do, though? 24 hours in a day. 7 days in a week. 365 days later, and you're just a year older. The thing is, it's not like I DON'T have time! I think I need to learn to prioritize so I can accomplish goals instead of just whining here on my blog about how I never get to do anything.

If I had a lot more patience...I wouldn't snap at people who try to help me with frustrating projects. I'd stop driving like a maniac and getting bent out of shape at other drivers' little indiscretions. There would be no more grumbling at my nephew when he acts like a 7-year-old boy (which he is...as it turns out...). I would figure that no one's perfect all at once, and I would work on my flaws little by little instead of feeling defeated by my fallibilities.

If I had a lot more faith...I could jump into things with both feet and not hem and haw about making decisions. It's always turned out well in the past. Sure, there have been some bumps and bruises along the way, but I'm grateful for and content about the way my life has gone, and I figure it's quite possible that it'll just get better.

If I had a lot more energy...I'd pull off some amazing feat of strength, like running a marathon. As it stands, I can barely do any sort of actual running--asthma gets in the way of the required breathing it takes to do things like that. With more energy, I could probably make gourmet meals and do things like keep my house clean and the laundry folded instead of getting home from work and crashing in front of the television until I can muster the initiative to make some semblance of put-togetherness.

If I had lots more motivation...I would go back to school. It keeps gnawing at my soul that maybe I should consider a Master's degree. Right now in my life would be the ideal time to do such a thing, so what's holding me back? The tests. The homework. The studying. The bureaucratic hoops. And then I begin thinking about all the pros... A degree. The chance to expand my horizons. More earning potential. What's a girl to do? Maybe some baby steps...who wants to decide what degree I get? Suggestions are welcome.

If I had lots more money... I'd travel. But I wouldn't just travel to go sight-seeing (although, that would be one of my aims). I would love to get into humanitarian work. I've seen small glimpses of this kind of outpouring of graciousness, and it's something I could really get behind. As far as money is concerned in this matter, I really do like to give. I mean, I can be frivolous, but if it came right down to it, I'd much rather help feed struggling third-world countries than live in a multi-million dollar home with a maid. It's been a secret dream of mine to really dedicate myself to a cause that helps better the world a little at a time. I realize it would be kind of a sick fantasy for me to believe that my tiny contribution will affect nations, but I'm a firm believer that every little bit helps. And I've seen the pictures that show the gratitude and love that people exchange in these ventures. I'd like some of that, both on the giving and the receiving end of things.

Snow business

2009-12-08T07:38:00.002-07:00

BOO. This morning I woke up to four inches of freshly-fallen snow. It's kind of the first really big snow that's happened this year, and I am admittedly not ready for it. I'm not a skier or anything, so really the snow holds no big appeal. The only thing snow is good for is water the next summer. Mountains, you can keep all this white stuff. We city-dwellers would like to reclaim the streets (wow, I just made snow sound like the byproduct of gangs or something...)!

Here are the conclusions I've reached just since walking out of my apartment building on this cold, blustery morning:

1) Slip-on sneakers will not pull me through this winter season. Previously I could get away with ballet flats and other ridiculous shoes because I was out in the elements for mere seconds at a time (walking to and from the car at work), and my feet could handle small snippets of cold. Currently my situation is such that I walk a good two miles a day outside, and my abundance of silly shoes will simply not hack it. I need to invest in a pair of good boots if I'm going to pull off the walk I did this morning ever again.

2) People are not going to wake up early to shovel their sidewalks. 6:30 is too early for anyone to be awake, really, but to expect them in galoshes and gloves, wielding a shovel merely to clear the path for me? It's foolish of me to cast that expectation on anyone. So I trudged through. And who else but me would feel a little bit sorry that she's packing the snow down, only making it more difficult for the shovelers later in the day?

3) The train is a great method of transportation when Mother Nature decides to make the roads virtually unnavigable. What I failed to realize is that the train can get stuck on the tracks going up the hill! The driver tried and tried, and finally (after about five minutes) we got past the slick part of the track and were on our way. While my slight delay is nothing compared to the commute others endured, I was a tad worried that I'd either be hoofing it the rest of the way to upper campus or stuck on the train, holding up scads of commuters on their way behind us. We got stuck again one stop before I usually get off, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and take a detour.

4) Heaters are our friends. I don't think I need to reiterate this point, but at present, I've got the space heater under my desk, drying the cuffs of my pants (which were inevitably soaked by the time I made it into the office). Also, who knew that Legacy Bridge (up by University Hospital) is heated? The steps were clear, and the steam was rising off of it. It was a welcome sight for my thin sneakers.

5) It's that time of year for all the 'snow' jokes. Give it your best shot.

I just looked at the weather forecast on KSL.com--I'm sad to state that the low on Thursday of this week is 5°. Four months until Spring...? Bears have the right idea; I think I'll hibernate until April.

Guilty

2009-12-07T14:45:00.002-07:00

I am here admitting to you that I feel guilty...

...posting on my blog from work. I really should be reviewing renewals at the moment, but I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on a Monday.

...eating too much Christmas candy. Those mint truffle kisses are divine, though! Luckily, the copy area at work--which is so often covered in pastries, cookies, candies, and other sugar-coated confections--is looking clear today.

...leaving a bag of garbage sitting on my kitchen floor for 5 days--and I don't know why I haven't gotten up the gumption to take it out to the dang dumpster.

...getting in the middle of a bad break-up/make-up situation and being so frustrated about it. Tell you what, I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Hands washed.

...thinking about ditching FHE tonight to do one of the following: a) sleep; b) quilt; c) sit in a hot tub.

...harboring crushes on guys who are basically unattainable. (Guilty pleasure, no...?)

...listening to horribly cheesy Christmas music and getting choked up about it.

...spending $135 on contact lenses that will last me a year. It's a necessity, so I'm ok, right?

Don't know what you've got 'til it's gone...

2009-12-03T15:07:00.003-07:00

Five months. My little brother has been gone on his mission for five months. Time has flown by, but with Thanksgiving last week, it made me wistful for when he was there to do things like help bring in all the metal church chairs or snarfing down all the extra pie.

But honestly, I think a mission is good for him. Even just from his letters, I can tell that he's started to learn what responsibility actually means (and not in the college, 'Hey Dad, I ran out of money...' type of way).

Every Wednesday (his preparation day), the family gets an email from him. I've learned a lot of things about my brother, and he's always saying them in kind of hilarious ways. Here are some of my favorite snippets:

At the MTC (in Provo)--
"This week one of the guys there actually went to my mission, sort of, he went to the puerto rico san juan misssion before it was 2 missions. so we talked to him for a while and he said that for a couple of areas in his mission, he actually carried around a machete, so I don't think I have to tell you how stoked I am for that."

At the MTC (in the Dominican Republic)--
"It's so awesome. all the workers come play basketball with us and it's mostly black people in this country so all of us gringos are getting schooled."

"...not only do I not speak very good spanish even when its slow, its really fast here. seriously, if mexicans talked in the slow, articulated drawl of morgan freeman, carribean spanish would be like how I speak english."

"k so being a district leader isn't as bad as I thought exept it is kind of weird because everyone expects you to fix their problems while you're still trying to work out your own."

"I don't know if I told you this yet but i hurt my knee again playing basketball in provo and they wanted me to go to the doctor but I didn't want to get held back from leaving, so I didn't. (don't tell mom, she'll be real mad)" (This email was also addressed to our mother...)

"I have an excuse, half an hour a week is not enough to write all of you an entire personal letter, but you have all week, so what the deuce?*" Later in the same email... "*If Elder Snow has forgotten your email, or if you have sent regular mail that has not yet arrived, Elder Snow apologizes for his crude language. however if you haven't, he meant it."

"get on the fallen ones to write me letters, namely natalie and paulie."

"Annie: sounds like things are picking up in SLC, good luck meeting some hubbas your age"
"Natalie: thanks for the advice about my district, here's some for you: you're the parent in this situation, so you get to decide what to eat. I mean come on, if you can't keep your kid under control as a fetus, what kind of hope do you have when it can walk?"

"I am getting all right at spanish, I can hold a decent conversation with a teacher, but it's hard because I feel like I'm running a spanish port on an english OS; I think I need boot camp for my brain. (if you didn't get that anology ask dad. or mike. or natalie.)"

In Puerto Rico--
"So I have now been in Puerto Rico for a week, and I am now a legit missionary, in fact, you might say that I am too legit to quit. (I hope I never become un-legit.)"

"also, I always thought stray dogs were an urban myth, you know, like the safe full of heads in the basement. but they're not, they're all over the place here, it was kind of a shock to me to have my beliefs turned upside down, and I realized that if stray dogs were real, other things that I had previously thought to be fake could also be real and then I realized that I have never actually seen the inside of that safe. and mom does have an unnaturally loose jaw." (Don't ask...)

"you know what I did the other night in the dark? ran for my life from a junkyard dog, not a junkyard dog in the proverbial sense, but a junkyard dog as in a huge dog that actually guards a junkyard. that's right, apparently it's not just from the sandlot."

"we actually got chased around by a mob of children yelling at us, that was kind of scary. then there was this cat following us around and it seemed pretty nice and it wasn't diseased, which is rare because most of the stray animals here have some flesh eating disease that makes half of their fur fall out and they look really gross."

"also, there's a bunch of cockroaches in our apartment and we usually just smash them but this morning we found one that had gotten tipped over and was still alive so we torched it with some WD 40 and a match, so that was fun, even though I got burned."

(One of my favorites) "so all the houses here are made out of cement, and all the roofs are flat, a lot of people actually park on top of their house. but that's not the story, roof's here get pretty gross and slimy because they're not sloped very well and the water just sits on top most of the time. so people have to go up on top and clean them with a pressure washer. and there's this member in our area who has a really bad back and he's taking some medication for cholesterol or something that makes him really weak so he can't do it, so we were over there cleaning his roof one day and he speaks a little english so we asked him what the word for roof is, and he told us "techo" but we both heard "pecho" so we're out contacting one day and sometimes we offer service to people, so we say, in effect "hey do you guys need any help with anything?" and they say, "like what?" and we say "whatever you want, we could help you paint your house, or clean your 'pecho'" and we're saying this to men and women and getting some weird looks, but we always get weird looks so we don't even really notice and then we were in ward council meeting on sunday and we were telling the bishop about that guy and how we were cleaning his roof and they all look really confused, and our district leader, who is mexican but is fluent in english leans over to me and says "pecho means chest." yeah. so basicallywhat we were saying to random women on the street for a week was, "hey, do you need any help cleaning your chest?" welcome to puerto rico, I guess. I'm still laughing."

"I don't know if I'll still be here because transfers are next wednesday... wendsday? why does english never make sense? anyway, transfers are on Miercoles. "

In Dominica--
"...they don't have dirt here, just plants everywhere so that's cool, it smells like weed all the time here because technically it's illegal but if you get caught with it you just have to give some to the cop."

"every one here is black, two days ago I saw another white person and it about scared the crap out of me."

"you all said I would be craving peanut butter once I couldn't have it and I didn't believe you. but now 6 oz of peanut butter costs about 12 EC, or about 5 dollars, and it's not even really peanut butter, it's just weird. so I shall now eat my words of doubt and ask for peanut butter. please."

"I miss pie."

"I figure that since I left the MTC 3 months ago, I've probably walked about 700 miles. so for those of you who want to lose weight, I have a diet/exercise plan for you. eat only what 200 dollars a month will buy in a country where everything is imported and walk 10-12 miles a day. Its already working for me, we don't have a scale but I weighed myself at zone conference and I've lost 15 pounds, which means I weigh less than I have since I was a sophomore. don't worry mom, I know right now you're already thinking up an angry letter to write to my mission president about how I'm starving, but don't."

"sounds like you guys had a pretty boring thanksgiving. you didn't even go see a movie? five months after I leave and family traditions that have stood for centuries are crumbling. apparently this family just cannot stand without the prodigal son. who knows? maybe by the time I get home we won't even play the colors game to decide who has to wash, and then where would we be?"

And the latest, yesterday's email:
"Hey annie, another one of these random questions:The guy who plays harvey dent / two face on The Dark Knight (think his name is aaron eckhart) we have heard rumors that he is mormon, served a mission, went to byu... etc. etc. and we found a picture of what we think is him in a conference issue of an ensign. if you could confirm or deny this rumor that would be great. you have ten minutes. your [insert adjective here]-est brother"

Man, I miss that kid. (Refusing to cry...refusing to cry...)

From my iPod (and the dark, cobwebby recesses of my brain) to your ears...

2009-11-28T09:27:00.013-07:00

Lately I've been listening to my iPod on shuffle. It's interesting which of the 3843 songs I've got on there will pop up and--out of nowhere--bring a memory screaming back to my mind. Most of them are fond, some of them tinged with pain, but all of them make me remember times that were influenced by one menial song.

Duncan Sheik - Barely Breathing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-oh-tP6RvA

In the 8th grade, our science teacher gave us an assignment to pick any song and write about one of the science topics we had learned about that year. It was supposed to be a fun, easy project that would get us 14-year-olds out of our shells and doing something that wasn't studying a book. Of course, I made the entire assignment too difficult...this song was brand new on the radio, and I sat there with my hand poised over the RECORD button, just waiting for the radio station to play my request I had called in--we didn't have iTunes or YouTube back in the day, so it was me and a trusty cassette tape. After waiting for about three hours, I finally got the song recorded. My older sister, Sarah, agreed to help be the vocals for my project (hello, embarrassing for me to do it myself...), and we set to sussing it all out. At about two o'clock in the morning, our brains had become mush, but our product was gold. If I recall, there was a goofy part at the end of our recording that had something to do with Sean Connery (?). To this day, whenever I hear this song on the radio, I giggle a little to myself, recalling how silly we got and how great it was to have an older sister to help me see it through to the rollicking end. I think I got the same number of points for that tape as the people who wrote their songs to easy tunes and took about fifteen minutes to do the assignment, as opposed to the several hours I invested into mine. And you can see how all of my effort paid off eventually, right...?

Love Is Spoken Here (Primary Song)

I don't know why the title of this video says it's "A Child's Prayer"...

As an 11-year-old, I was asked to participate in a Primary children's choir that sang for LDS General Conference. We practiced every Sunday evening for a couple months with Sister Watkins, and this song was one of my favorites that we performed. One of the things I remember about the way she taught us was that she had a tennis ball she had sliced open. She would squeeze it, and its 'mouth' would open and sing rOund vOwels. I hated being patronized like a silly little child, but thinking about it now, she was onto something. I thought we sounded great. It was the one General Conference that President Howard W. Hunter was the prophet. As we were sitting in the tabernacle, waiting to start, he walked in and waved to the side of the choir where I was. A prophet, waving at us! I even remember what I was wearing that day...it was a white dress with little blue flowers on it, and a fabric rose as sort of a brooch. And I had to sit next to the most annoying kid in our ward; that I remember distinctly. This particular song is one of the first ones (for me, at least) I sang the harmony (listen to the end) on, and I loved singing the 'different' part.

The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling

This song is one of the tunes twinged with sadness...but now that I think of it, it is a little humorous how this story happened. Quick background: at the age of 17, I thought I had found my soulmate. I waited for him while he went on his mission, and then when he returned, and I was on the verge of turning 20, I was positive we would settle down and live life happily ever after. Three weeks after he got back, we went to a park and had an awkward chat about how he wanted to focus on dating another girl who had written him on his mission. I was beyond devastated. Three years I had invested into this person who wouldn't return my affections. On the way home from the park, we were listening to the radio...I don't even know which station (let's face it, I was in a stupor), and this song came on. He couldn't have just left well enough alone and said, "Oh hey, this song is kind of fitting for the night." My heart just sank even further at his cheekiness. I have since moved on and realized it definitely wasn't meant to be with him and me. So I can still listen to this song with a grimace-laced half-smile. It was a ridiculous thing for him to say, but kind of funny in hindsight.

John Denver - Grandma's Feather Bed

As a family, we used to make weekly trips to go visit one set of grandparents or the other. Usually things got pretty rowdy with seven children in the car, so I think my dad tried to get us focused on a singular goal by teaching us this song. We loved singing it because we thought it was a hilarious concept. For years, I didn't know that it was John Denver who sang it, but it makes sense considering my dad is a huge fan. I bet even today you could get us all to sing along to this ditty if you got us all started. When I was really young, I always wondered if my grandma kept the feather bed out in the garage or something because she didn't want us jumping on it. And I would get confused at a bed being nine feet high; it just didn't seem quite plausible...

Mary Poppins - A Spoonful of Sugar

Mary Poppins remains today one of my favorite movies, and it's in part due to this next memory... When I was about 6, my sister and I shared a bedroom. And we were messy little children, so you can imagine all of the toys and clothing that ended up strewn about the floor. One day, my mom told us that we weren't allowed to leave the room until it was cleaned up. Obviously no small child wants to feel restricted by chores, so we decided to put our movie knowledge to the test. We gathered everything into a huge heap and began snapping our fingers at it. To our dismay and disappointment, nothing budged. Not a single toy jumped back into its rightful place, and we were slightly devastated. All of our faith in films was shattered, and we were left with a mountain of crap that we now had to clean up by our own non-magical devices.

Smash Mouth - Then the Morning Comes

As a teenager with newly-found freedom (i.e., a drivers license), I wanted what every 16-year-old dreams of: her own car. My parents had a vehicle that my oldest sister had used for a bit but no longer needed (or something...it was a great car shuffle in which I ended up with something to get me to school, work, and back). The only problem was that it had a manual transmission, and I had learned to drive on an automatic. Learning how to drive a clutch was a fantastic event at our house...we got a pre-lesson from our dad that involved plates and talk of gears and shifting and the way the mechanics of it worked (which was actually extremely helpful!). After we had sufficiently learned, we got to go out to the right-of-way next to my parents' house and drive up and down the short gravel path, practicing going from idling to first and then to second gear. Mastery of that meant that we got to drive up and down the long, straight road in front of the house. I had a tape with this song on it, and that was what I used to get psyched up to learn how to drive this crazy car. I would listen to it, rewind, and then listen again. Whenever this song comes on and I get rocking out, I remember the short drives up and down that road, feeling so cool in the little Suzuki Samurai.

Ah, misty watercolor memories...gotta love the trips down memory lane. Do you have songs that *always* remind you of a certain time or place?

I am blessed.

2009-11-24T16:03:00.003-07:00

Last year, I wrote a list of 100 things I'm grateful for in celebration of Thanksgiving. It was a tough list to write, but turned out to be a good exercise in counting my blessings and realizing everything awesome I enjoy.

This year, I've seen this video pop up on friend's blogs and Facebook pages--and I love it. It made me cry (not a huge feat, people...). I realize it says "Mormon Messages," but I'm pretty sure gratitude is a universal concept...

My favorite part: "If you're having a hard time, you can always overcome that...there's always positive in the future." Some dude on the street said it...and I couldn't have said it better. There really is always positive in the future! There have been several occasions in my life where I have struggled and muddled through, but what I've always discovered is that things work out. Life is good.

On Saturday afternoon, I was in the car with my sister and her family. My 7-year-old nephew started singing all of the Primary songs about Thanksgiving. Wow...how cute, and yet, what an example! We sang about being grateful...the "For Health and Strength" round seemed like it lasted a lifetime, but we had a good laugh. Moments like those are the snippets of life that make me realize how many great things fill up mine.

During this Thanksgiving holiday season, I'm grateful for the fundamentals in my life, the big things that make the little differences. I don't often get religious or preachy on my blog, but I want to express my gratitude for my family, my friends, and of course, my Savior, Jesus Christ. I feel extremely blessed.

Grab bag

2009-11-07T10:41:00.003-07:00

I've just been thinking about a lot of arbitrary things lately. This blog is dedicated to dumping my brain in publication (loosely, at least).

* Five years ago today was my first kiss. I was 21, and it wasn't that great. Everyone kept telling me: "It's nothing special." And yet, I wanted fireworks; I yearned for it to be perfect. (Who's surprised? The perfectionist wants something PERFECT.) The guy was a weirdo, and he ended up dumping me two days later--in an email. Wow. Since then, I've kissed a few more 'winners' who probably could have used a lesson or two in the art of being romantic. Whatever happened to the art of dropping a girl off at her doorstep and giving her a semi-poignant kiss?

* Last night I had a few people over to enjoy the beauty of Jeopardy on TiVo. There was a friendly wager placed, some minor trash-talking asserted, and then we ventured into Trebek territory. I gave fair warning that I have become a pro at watching and answering, but the group declared that 'the point shall heretofore be awarded to the person who exclaims the correct answer before any other person shall do such.' I did get a run for my money, but after the four episodes were said and done, I declared victory. I shall reap my prize henceforth.

* I'm seriously loving Michael Buble's song, Haven't Met You Yet. Thank you, Rachel. I guess it's the upbeat message about not needing someone and if the right person does come along, it will be pretty great. I'm a sucker for happy endings.

* I have officially declared 2010 the 'Year of the Traveling.' Not like I haven't traveled before, but my passport is feeling a bit neglected. So, for my birthday, I'm going to Ireland, and then next summer, I'm headed to Tokyo. Two places I've dreamed of visiting, now just a few months away! Which brings me to...

* I need to be better at saving my pennies. Seriously, do I need four new outfits every month? Ok, that's exaggerating. But also, I'd rather save a little now and have a few awesome vacations. I ask each of you: if you see me pondering frivolous purchases, just whisper, "Ireland!" or "Tokyo!" in my ear, and that will clinch the decision. In my opinion, traveling is a lot more worthwhile than other things. If I could, I'd have both, but I also have to be realistic.

* And speaking of new outfits...want to hear a great way to expand your wardrobe? Clean out your closet. It's like finding new gems and treasures you forgot even existed! It's fantastic especially right now when sweaters are coming into season and you can remember that you're not tied down to the four shirts you've been wearing for the past three months. I cleaned out my closet this morning, and what I thought would take me three hours only took me 45 minutes. Now I have a lot more empty hangers (I was wondering what happened to them all...oh wait, they were holding clothes I never wore anymore). It's also a little strange the memories that are connected with clothes. I kept thinking, "Oh yeah, I bought this in Chicago!" or "Wore this on that hilarious date!" And into the DI pile you go.

* In the past six weeks, I've lost five lb. Not HUGE progress, but I'll take it. Considering how 'dedicated' I am, this is fantastic. Can I get a shout-out for ten more?

* Family news: my sister and her little family moved to Uzbekistan a few days ago. (That's one of the weirdest sentences...) I'll miss Avery's games, Jameson's surly wit, and Trey's little mischievous smile. I do not envy, however, the Russian-type cold they will experience. Two years isn't that long, though. For instance, Matt has been gone for over four months. It seems like a long time ago that he left, but then again, it doesn't. (Gotta love the time warp...) I sure miss him. Annoying brother or not, he was always darkly hilarious and incredibly intelligent. Plus, I could always bribe him to fix my car or run my errands. (Yes, at the age of 26, I still bribe others to do my bidding.) Also on the family front, Isabelle can say my name. Sure, it's the easiest of all the aunts' names, but I like to think it's because she likes me best. After all, that whole 'belle' thing connects us.

Thank you for tuning into this edition of random musings. That is all for now...

Good idea...Bad idea...

2009-11-03T14:53:00.002-07:00

Good idea: Having candy for trick-or-treaters.
Bad idea: Having so much candy that you eat most of it yourself and then don't end up having trick-or-treaters because you live in a secure apartment buildling. I ended up taking what was left (basically anything that wasn't a KitKat or a Reese's) down to my sister's party in Provo. And luckily so...they had run out of loot for the kids who were coming.

Good idea: Buying cute tights and a headband for your "hot secretary/librarian/teacher" costume.
Bad idea: Leaving them at your sister's house the night before you need to dress up.

Me: "Can you see a little Target bag with my stuff? I think I forgot it..."
Sarah: "Uh, I can't see it right now...can you pull over and look for it in your car?"
Me: "Kind of going through construction right now...sorry."
...a little later (and a second phone call)...
Me: "Any luck?"
Sarah: "Oh wait...yeah...here it is."
Me: "Crap."

Good idea: Making homemade vanilla bean custard for the office party.
Bad idea: Staying up until 2:00am to do so. This followed the debacle that erupted trying to find dry ice (which the Wal-Mart in SLC doesn't sell?!) and getting shooed out of the aisles (Wal-Mart closes at midnight?!?!?) gathering last-minute ingredients for homemade root beer and custard. (By the by...the effort was totally worth it...)

Good idea: Putting on fake nails to complete the look of above-mentioned costume.
Bad idea: Putting on fake nails to complete the look of above-mentioned costume. So many things you cannot do with fake nails!

Type.
Text (or do anything that requires pushing buttons on a cell phone).
Button buttons.
Remove contact lenses from your eyes (youch!).
Put on nylons.
Open jewelry clasps.
Play the piano.

Good idea: Letting your friends fill the pinata for the Halloween party.
Bad idea: Letting your friends have free reign of your kitchen while they do this...bouillon cubes, fruit leather, Crystal Light packets, spice jars (plastic), yeast packets, little pigs-in-a-blanket, carrots...? It was quite interesting when Darth Vader's head got cracked open and all sorts of strangeness spilled forth. The Crystal Light and fruit leather were quite the hit, though.

Good idea: Spending the majority of the day on Saturday eating whatever I wanted, sleeping whenever I wanted (didn't get out of my pajamas until 5:30 at night...), and catching up on my television watching.
Bad idea: Uh...I got nothing for this one. :)

Fix You

2009-11-02T21:53:00.002-07:00

I am not a handy-woman. I can figure most things out, especially if there's a diagram or a how-to video on YouTube. Lately, I've discovered that there are some things that could use fixing around my place. And I don't even know where to begin.

1) My piano. One of the A keys doesn't work, and it's more honky-tonk out-of-tune than ever. I understand that this is a result of the move a few months ago, but I'd like to be able to plunk out a song without hearing the missing note. So I'm putting it out there: does anyone know a piano tuner in SLC that won't charge me up the wazoo to come make my piano sound somewhat decent?

2) The DVD burner I ordered. Ok, this isn't necessarily 'broken,' but I have too many wires going in and out of all of the electronics residing in my entertainment center...and I do not care to mess with a good thing. The plea: does anyone want to make my television viewing and recording easier by getting this thing hooked up? Fair warning--there are a lot of wires and input/outputs happening back there...it could get messy. I could probably make it worth your while...

3) The gas fireplace in my apartment. I moved into this apartment at the end of May. The fireplace was a quaint gadget I looked forward to using in the winter, but I didn't think much about how to work the dang thing. I believe the pilot light has gotten blown out or turned off or something, because when I switch the fireplace on: nada. I grew up with a wood-burning fireplace, so we started fires with newspaper and kindling. Anyone know how to work one of these suckers?

Other things I've busted lately:
- the latch thing that holds the visor in place when it's not in use
- the pouring spigot on my parents' drink cooler
- a spatula I used when I was scraping homemade ice cream from the freezer bowl
- my shin on Rachel's front bumper

But I don't just break things...
- I fixed Rachel's sewing machine on Halloween; just had to be a little rough with it, show it who was boss.
- I got my iPod to work again after I 'shocked' it to death. Who knew that static electricity could do such dire damage? I guess enough finagling got the job done.
- The hem on my skirt came undone, but ten minutes and a little TLC made it wearable again.

And now, a little shout-out to Coldplay and a re-disovered favorite:

A quick note to my blog stalker...

2009-10-27T14:05:00.002-06:00

People. My blog is public. I don't write anything extremely exciting or incriminating on here, so I haven't found the need to secure this sucker up.

So who is it that's been searching for the word "perdittle" and finding my blog? Because you sure visit a lot...I have ways of knowing this.

I'm dedicating this post to you, Blog Stalker. Find a cooler way to get to my blog because you're kind of freakin' me out.

The Killers

2009-10-13T09:15:00.004-06:00

Wait, you thought this would be a post about going to a rock concert? Hmmm...really this diatribe will be about things that are killing me slowly. Or quickly.

KILLER No. 1
Remember the seller from eBay that was kind of a beast about me returning the Volume 2 disc of 30 Rock? I wrote them back yesterday.

"I did not imply that I was misled; I merely realized that I misread the listing, and I would have liked to return the item. If you're unwilling to stand by your 7-day return policy, that doesn't seem right, and I'm more than happy to leave you a negative rating. Please keep my $9.99 and continue to dupe others into buying half a season of a television show while I keep my 3rd disc of 30 Rock Season 1 as a reminder of how rude eBay sellers can be. Oh, and about selling a box set that cheap? I found the season in its entirety on Amazon for only a few dollars more...I figured you were trying to be competitive on, well, I don't know, an auction website? Welcome to the Internet where there are deals at every turn."

Immediate response: "The return policy is not for those who misread. This is not my policy it is a policy designed to protect us both (sellers)by Ebay. If you should leave negative feedback because you changed your mind or made a mistake, I will report you to Ebay-they have potection for that as well. I am not trying to keep your money but a deal is a deal. You had every opportunity prior to purchasing to read the description in the title."

The funny thing is, here's what the return policy states (and this is directly copied and pasted from the seller in the listing):

* Item must be returned within 7 days after the buyer receives it; the buyer is responsible for return shipping costs. (Check. Well, I was within this scope of 7 days when I contacted the seller...)
* Refund will be given as Money Back. (Which is all I really sought...)
* Return policy details: The item must be retured in its original unsealed condition in order to receive a refund. Thank you. (I will not point out to the seller that the word "returned" is spelled incorrectly...however, I will mock it here.)

I give up. I would just like to be that voice in the back of your head when you are reading an eBay listing, thinking it's too good to be true. Read and re-read a little closer. Like the majority of the population doesn't know this...

KILLER No. 2

I received an email from my HOA last night that my check had been returned because of insufficient funds. Can I please remind everyone that I'm basically the most regimented person on Earth when it comes to paying bills? I have it calculated down to the day when my paycheck gets deposited and when each payment goes out. And for the past three and a half years, I've been making that stupid payment and not having any problems.

I went and looked at my bank's website...no problems there, it seems. Yet I was tersely instructed to send certified funds with an extra $25 returned check fee (!) to the HOA. This is just after my house payment from the same bill pay system was rejected by the mortgage company. Ok bank...what is wrong?! I put money in; I'd like to get some dollars out to cover my bills and pretend that I'm an adult who can be responsible. UGH. Gotta call the bank this morning.

THE ACTUAL KILLERS

Ok, ok, I really did go to the Killers concert and had a fantastic time. They had some technical difficulties that put a little hold on the concert after the first song, but watching Brandon Flowers completely made up for it. Here are some pictures:

Sorry the pictures aren't the best quality--go cell phone cameras--but check out how close we were! I'm usually not a fan of general admission floor seats, but we met some cool people standing by us, and all in all, the audience was great. My ears were ringing the next morning, but the concert was amazing.

I may be an idiot.

2009-10-09T08:30:00.006-06:00

Teach me to purchase things on eBay. Teach me to think I'm getting a good deal. Teach me to READ listings before I click "Buy It Now." Luckily, it's just $10. Luckily, I realize it was silly. Luckily, I don't have severe anger issues. BUT, I do have a forum to illustrate my case.

A few days ago, I was purchasing the first season of 30 Rock. I went to this great website that pulls prices from a bunch of other websites to help you find the best deal, http://www.booksprice.com/. Perfect. I found one for $9.99, including shipping. DEAL! I was pretty excited about the find, so I hustled through the transaction.

Figured out the end of this story yet? I received the DVD in the mail yesterday...only to open it and find that it was only volume 2 of the first season.

I would like to complain for a moment: who sells things that way?! After doing a search for volume 1 of the same season, I found that it was a lot more difficult to come by. Wouldn't you think that people buying volume 2 would also want volume 1? I'm just sayin'...

Fast forward to this morning when I emailed the seller. I discovered the seller has a 7-day return policy, so I sent this message:

"I thought this was the entire first season of 30 Rock; after looking more closely at the listing and receiving the item, I would like to return it. Please let me know what address you would like it shipped to. Thanks!"

So basically, I admitted I was stupid and didn't read the listing correctly. I get it. I should stop being in such a hurry about my online purchasing. Lesson learned. Moving on.

A few minutes later, I got this:

"I was very specific about the item and what you were purchasing. The details never mislead you to believe it was the entire box set-no one would sell an entire box set for that price."

Ha! No one would sell an entire box set for that price? Well, how come I found one for only $5 more at Amazon? I figured she was trying to beat their price with the 'deal' I was getting. I'm going to guess this means she won't take it back, even if I ship it. Come on, even Wal-Mart has a policy where if I get something and don't want it--for WHATEVER reason--I can return it and they give me back my dollars.

So how do I respond to this entirely snotty email? SHOULD I respond?

I've already ordered seasons 1 AND 2 from Amazon.com. And if I don't like them or decide on a random whim that I don't want them anymore, they'd take 'em back. She can keep my $10. I hope she can buy some more volume 2 copies of 30 Rock and find more suckers like me to buy them.

Thoroughly modern...? Maybe not.

2009-09-30T16:07:00.002-06:00

I got the movie Thoroughly Modern Millie from Netflix in the mail yesterday. I got watching it (fantastic...come on, Julie Andrews really can't go wrong in a musical!), and got to the only part I've ever really seen before in this movie: the beads part.

Yes, Millie is trying to "modernify" herself and gets a long string of beads because it's en vogue. She looks down at the necklace, and it's skeewompus (sp?). She looks down several times, and much to her chagrin the beads lay horribly each time.

Then comes the text screen--

"Gee, I wish my fronts weren't so full...they sure ruin the line of your beads."

I looked down at my own long necklace...yep, skeewompus. I guess I need lessons in modern!

Smile!

2009-09-22T09:47:00.004-06:00

I feel as though I've been a Negative Nelly lately. And so I give you...(drumroll, please!)--

Things that make me smile:

* The girl at the bookstore who told me she liked my hair, even though I felt like I was having a bad hair day. No, seriously, I had just gotten done telling Ann about how I struggled this morning with a huge piece that didn't want to lay down flat, no matter how much flat ironing or product I subjected it to.

* Discovering the recipe for Cafe Rio's sweet pork and their creamy house dressing. I'm probably never going to that place and paying $8.49 for a salad again.

* Going to town on chopped-down limbs of a tree with a pair of pruners. Talk about getting out some frustration! I showed those suckers that I meant business! (Thanks, Grandma!)

* The Killers concert coming up this Saturday. Brandon Flowers--in some strange way, I find you attractive. I can't help but love a man with musical talent.

* Being told that I helped 'carry the team' in a game called Buzzword on Sunday night. ("I feel like we should high five about that!")

* Getting a notification from Facebook that a cute guy has written on my wall.

* Only having THREE new studies go to my board meeting this week. Sixteen last month...karma really does even things out, I think.

* Understanding cultural literacy references in the book I'm currently reading, The Eyre Affair. People have hilarious names (Thursday Next, Braxton Hicks, etc.) ...and in it, everyone loves literature. It's truly a whimsical delight, and I can't wait to finish it.

* The chef at the Market Street dessert case last night who pulled out the tray of strawberry tarts and chocolate-covered strawberries and whispered, "We just make new ones fresh in the morning...do you want one?" Uh, does a fat kid love candy? YES! Free dessert.

I needed this.

All grown up and savin' China...

2009-09-18T13:19:00.003-06:00

I've thought a lot about who I used to be, how far I've come, what I've learned, yadda yadda, bladdy blah... and you know what I decided? Live it up now. I've got to love the moments I've got and not pine for the past or worry for the future.

I even think about how my life has roller coastered up and down, lots of people in and out, even just in my early and mid-twenties. Most of these people have graduated to different phases of their lives...getting degrees, finding true love, having children, some of them becoming actual responsible adults... I can't just call these people up for a random road trip or even dinner. But in my life, at current, I do have people like that (thank goodness!). I believe the older we get and the more connections we make, the more difficult it becomes to truly devote yourself to certain individuals. This isn't bad, necessarily...I've just discovered that life often tugs us all in different directions.

One of my former bishops is just returning from a mission with his wife, and I've been invited to listen to them speak--so have all of the people from that old ward...and it gets the gears jamming in my brain, thinking, "Whoa, it's been awhile since I've seen these people!" I'm guessing it's what it's like to get notification that your high school reunion is coming up. Some of the people you love, but some of them you would be ok to never see or speak to again. The best part about these shindigs? (And this is the TRULY horrible side of me...) Realizing that I have improved vastly from my days of yore. Not many things top being able to be flaunt your newly-found confidence. Yeah, I don't have kids or a husband, but...well, let's just let Kathleen Madigan express my thoughts:

Best line: "But as single people, what are we supposed to send out? Picture of me, sleeping late with extra money?"

Lest this blog post sound like a break-up directed to or a diatribe about my friends who really have gone down different paths than the one I'm on, it's not! Isn't that the beauty of getting to decide? At the risk of sounding like a user, I'm glad that each of you is/was there when I need/needed you most, in whatever unique capicity. And who knows...maybe I could be convinced to become responsible one day. ;) I do want to send out a Christmas letter solely about me, though....

Have you ever noticed...?

2009-09-11T10:57:00.002-06:00

A few things that puzzle me...but then again, completely make sense:

* Traffic always seems to be going slowly in the direction you're headed. The oncoming cars are zipping by, and you just know they're laughing at you, saying, "Suckers!" I know I do that on the rare occasion I'm the lucky girl on the fast side of the road.

* There are probably fifty shirts in my closet, but when I browse through my pictures on Facebook or my blog, I'm wearing the same two or three shirts over and over again. And they're not fancy or special...so why do I wear them so much?

* I find that even if I haven't done anything productive at work, I get home and I'm exhausted. And yet, I know some people who actually have jobs where they have to be up and about, and they've got energy up the wazoo!

* Any email I get gives me a sense of excitement. OooooOOOOoooh, what is this? A shipping notification! Score!

* I can smile normally until it comes time to have my picture taken. I don't work well under pressure!

* No matter what, I always run out of conditioner before shampoo. I even make a concerted effort to use the same amount of each. Does conditioner evaporate from the bottle faster...? I have no other explanation.

* The older I get, the more motion sick I get. Just riding on the train, I start to feel a little queasy. And this is from the child who could ride amusement park rides all day and be ready for more! I can't even spend a few hours at Lagoon without a pill in me now.

* Watching videos at work is way more appealing than sitting at home browsing YouTube. At least then you can get everyone to slack with you for a minute and all of you can giggle together.

* When you're doing an impression of yourself, you don't just use your normal voice...it gets all weird and different. Shouldn't it be the same if you're...imitating yourself...?

* I do some of the very things that I mock or that frustrate me. The other night, we were watching multiple cars trying to parallel park in a spot that was just too small. And yet, if it were me, I'd probably do it.